Which of each pairing do you think is the funniest somewhat short joke? And then which is the funniest of all?

FIRST PAIRING:



1) Two cannibals were friends and sharing a clown for lunch. Suddenly, the one cannibal turned to the other and asked, ';Does this taste funny to you ?! ';



2) A blonde was trimming her lawn with a weed-whacker when her playful cat jumped out of a bush he was hiding in and pounced on the weed-whacker ... the blonde was taken by surprise, lost control of the machine and SWOOSH !! off came the cat's tail in one clean slice. The blonde was in a frenzy, picked up both the cat and its tail, and drove like a maniac to the nearest Wal-Mart. Why there you ask? SHE HAD HEARD MORE THAN ONCE THAT WAL-MART WAS THE BEST ';RETAILER'; IN THE WORLD !!





PAIRING # 2:



3) Did you hear about the guy who went to the sporting goods store to buy himself a pair of camoflauge pants to wear hunting? Well, he left the store empty-handed because he couldn't find them !!



4) Adam was walking around the Garden of Eden feeling very lonely, so God asked Adam,

';What's wrong with you?';

Adam said he didn't have anyone to talk to.



God said he was going to give him a companion and it would be a woman.

He said, ';This person will cook for you and wash your clothes.

She will always agree with every decision you make.

She will bear you children and never ask you to get up in the night to take care of them.

She will not nag, and will be the first to admit she was wrong when you've had a disagreement.

She will never have a headache, and will freely give you love and compassion whenever needed.';



Adam asked God, ';What will a woman like this cost?';

God said, ';An arm and a leg.';

Adam said, ';What can I get for just a rib?';

The rest is history.





THIRD PAIRING:



5) Yo' Mama so big and fat it took the train conductor 2 hours to say, ';ALL ABOARD'; !!



6) A 100-year old man who was extremely healthy always looked forward to his yearly physical because of the praise and admiration his doctor gave him. However, this year he noticed his hearing wasn't quite what it used to be. So he asked his wife if she would go with him to fill in any gaps of lost hearing since he was too proud to let the doctor know he was less than perfect this time around. After the exam, the doctor exclaimed, as he did every year, what terrific shape the 100 year old was. ';You continue to be an inspiration to us all -- everything looks great, but for the record we still need to get the usual fecal, urine, and sperm samples. The nurse should be here in a few moments.'; The doctor shook the old man's hand, wished him continued good health, and left the room. The old man quickly turned to his wife and said, ';You see, I couldn't make out what he just said -- thank goodness you are here and can tell me what I missed hearing him say.'; Upon which the wife replied, ';The doctor said when the nurse comes in, just please give her your underwear !! ';





FOURTH PAIRING:



7) What do you call a brunette who is standing between two blondes ?? AN INTERPRETER !!



8) A fourth-grade teacher decides one day to introduce her students to the very basics of Politics. She begins by asking her 20 students, “If you were old enough to vote in the last presidential election, how many of you boys and girls would have voted for the President? Please raise your hands if your answer is YES.” With that, all but one student raises his hand. Lo and behold, it is Little Johnny still with his hand firmly on his desk. The teacher asks Johnny what his reasons were for not voting for the President? Johnny replies, “Well, my mom and dad are both Republicans and are successful from having worked many long, hard hours with help from no one. They are religious, generous to needy charities, and great parents to me. I respect and admire them. So with those wonderful traits, I would vote the same way as they did since they are doing quite well in the world.” The teacher slightly admonishes Little Johnny by saying, “Little Johnny, I think it is so nice you appreciate your parents, but you must start learning to live your own life and stand on your own two feet; and therefore, vote on your knowledge and judgment, not your parents. After all, what would you have done if your mother was an idiot and your father was a moron?” “That’s easy,” Little Johnny replied, “I would have raised my hand with the rest of the class.”



ENJOY -- I LOOK FORWARD TO YOUR ANSWERS -- THANK YOU !!Which of each pairing do you think is the funniest somewhat short joke? And then which is the funniest of all?
The fourth pair..i'm a brunette and little Johnny is classic. i like the wal-mart one too.Which of each pairing do you think is the funniest somewhat short joke? And then which is the funniest of all?
The first pairing was my fave out of all of them and I really liked Jokes #2 and #4

Thanx for the laughs!
4th one I love it