hey my name is Melissa and i had to write this essay for school, i wouldn't usually go into so much effort for something like this but i guess this was a topic that really caught my interest and i got so into it... anyways.. i felt like real proud of this.. but i want to know what you think. Was it boring? was it cool? Did it catch your attention? Did you not read it because it was boring? what , just please tell me.. while i was writing the last paragraph i started to cry.. mostly because this is all true.. these are things that really did happen and were real and just in case you wanna know im 12. so here it is:
My Favorite Place
I hop off the plane with butterflies, and knots still in my stomach. I look at my surroundings, I could see the family and friends waiting patiently for the others that walked behind us. We usually saw 1 or 2 of our family members. As we get out of the airport the cold air greets us outside and i tend to relax a bit more as I curiously watch the taxi men load up our luggage into two taxi's, then we separate into two groups, each group going in one of the taxi's. As we ride along the dusty, rocky roads and sight the faded mountains far away everything starts to jog back in my head.
We pull up to a nice, little familiar house just in front of a river with a couple of dead, dry weeds surrounding it. They all start to take out the bags, which made it hard to hear the flowing of the river and the occasional pebbles that fell in. As we went inside the squeak of the gate door and house door were just the same as always. Behind me i could hear the playful bark of a few dogs. As we entered the house tears of joy ran down my grand moms ( and a couple of others) face. We hugged each other a long time before we got to the kitchen. As we entered the kitchen the smell of my grand moms cooking caught my attention. As we all finished eating and were done chatting we were going upstairs to unpack.
As sunset began to turn into night i heard the crackling of fire outside. I hop into my sweater and slippers and head outside. As the adults talked and sat on these big rocks, my sister and I kept the fire alive and would usually rest. It started to get dark so we turned the fire off and headed to sleep. In the morning the shine of the sun and the melody of the little birds peacefully woke me up. As I yawned my way downstairs I found my breakfast on the table, so i ate silently.
It was a whole month of laughs and joy, great times and hard times, and the warm feeling of having the ones you love close to you. Eventually it all had to end, making me leave behind, my hyper, playful but supposedly guard dog, the smell of the air that reminded me of the fruit trees, the feeling of freedom that made me feel adventurous, the taste of how deliciously different the candy was, but most importantly, leaving my grand parents. As we got ready to leave we shed tears, hugging each other for as long as we had time. Memories Of the first day ran across my mind. It felt like there was a big piece that was missing from my heart. We headed to the airport, sobbing. As we got into the plane the knots grew in my stomach 10x more than expected. The plane started to lift off the ground, making my ears pop. But at that very moment I was trying to hide the tears that ran down my cheek ( hoping to be successful) and softly i whispered, '; Good bye Bolivia.';What do you think of this story?
its a really good peice of literature but i wouldnt call it an essay at all, more like a short story, but great job! not boring :)
Sunday, November 14, 2010
How much does your husband/bf do aroung the house?
I am 26 weeks pregnant (today) and he won't do anything! He comes home from work and plops down, pulls his socks off, and askes whats for dinner, and can you fix me a drink! I have to do everything inside, from picking up (including his socks), cleaning, and cooking (he had a fit once when I asked him to stick a frozen lazana in the oven cus I was working a little late). If I ask him to do anything he says he is too tired from work, which granted he works from 6-5/6 usually, and I work just 40 hrs a week.
He does do all of the yard work except for weeding (thats womens work) and keeps our back porch cleaned off, but I am so frustrated. Growing up my dad helped with the housework and every bf I have had before has been a cleaner/cooker. He shared a house with his mom and she would do everything for him, even made his bed every morning!
Is this normal?
When I first got preg. he did help out some but now the novelty has worn off I guess...How much does your husband/bf do aroung the house?
My husband does a LOT, in my opinion.
I do all the cooking (from scratch), and wash the dishes half the time. I pick up things here and there, and do laundry sometimes.
My husband rarely cooks, but would if I asked him to.
He does most of the laundry now, since my tummy is too big to reach down into the washer, but I still do some laundry.
My husband does all the vaccuuming, mopping, and bathroom cleaning.
He helps with changing diapers on our toddler.
We live in an apartment, so he doesn't have any yard work to do, but he runs all the errands if I ask him to.
If he wants a ';drink';, he gets it himself. I don't drink, and I would prefer that he not drink at all, but his having one drink a week won't kill him (or me).
My husband would never throw a fit about having to help prepare dinner. He's a good guy
I would suggest that you start cutting back on the stuff you do, and that if he gets upset, that he'll need to start helping out a little more. You are still quite early in your pregnancy, but it isn't going to get any easier bending down to pick up socks.
(My husband throws his clothing in all corners of our house when he gets home from work, and I know he is exhausted. He works in a physical job. However, seeing socks on the floor doesn't bother me at all.
If your husband starts getting mad that his socks are still on the floor after 3 days, then just tell him that he needs to put them in the laundry basket the MOMENT he takes them off.
I get stressed very easily, so I choose not to worry about the ';small stuff';....socks are just that.
I am sorry that your husband isn't helping more. Yard work is a big big job, but he might not understand pregnancy. Does he go to your prenatal visits with you? Maybe if you could talk to your obgyn ahead of time, and get the obgyn to just say a couple words to your husband about the fact that you have certain conditions right now that might make him have to take on a little extra responsibility.
I personally love to cook for my husband, so that doesn't bother me. However, I am a terrible housekeeper, and if my husband doesn't get too upset about it, I won't get too upset when he's too tired to clean too.
Your husband DOES dirty the house up, as much as you (and the rest of the family?), so he needs to get out of his 1950's stereotype of the little ';homemaker';.
Maybe he would have more energy if he didn't drink right after work too?
Hang in there, but try to resolve part of the dispute before you get huge, and it becomes more of an issue.How much does your husband/bf do aroung the house?
talk to his mommy.
he does nothing.. but then im in the house all day while hes out working, so i have the time and he doesnt, nd he works really hard for both of us and deserves to put his feet up!!
well actually... he does most of the cooking as he would most likely end up with food poisoning if i did!! lol!!
he doesnt expect me to do it all, but i have it done by the time he gets home so theres not much he can do about it!!
why on earth did i get thumbs down for saying my own experience? oookaaay then!
Wow! My husband has been really helpful. I have not been feeling really well and he has been going to work from 6:30 (he gets up at 5:30) and works till got 6-8 sometimes.... He still comes home and helps me clean dishes. He's not a really good cook but he tries. I would have a talk with him.... whats going to happen when the baby gets here.... will it be the same thing?!?!?
I could see his point if you were home alone all day and not working. But you are contributing to the household income too, so you absolutely do need help around the house. He was raised to think certain things are done by the woman, and some things are done by the man.
If I were you, I would tell him that I need his help. If he refused, I would only clean up after myself and prepare things only for myself. I've done it before with my husband, and he got the message. He's fantastic at helping out now.
Good luck, and rest as much as possible before the wee one comes!
I would absolutely go nuts at my husband if he where like that! You ar working full time Plus your pregnant, it seems even worse as you'd be exhausted all the time! Maybe you have to start getting firmer with him as that is pure laziness (sorry to be harsh about him), if you are working he should do half of the house work, inside and out.....I would put my foot down as he seems to be taking advantage of you. Good luck!!!
You know what stop doing it all. Dont cook for him and wait on him. Dont pick up after him. When he asks for his dinner tell him to make his own. Mairrage is for 2 people. If he doesnt want to help than maybe he shouldnt be married its only going to get worse when the baby comes. Stand up for your self and DONOT be his maid. And dont give him any either I promise when you are too tired for sex because you are constanly working, cooking, and cleaning he will help out or do with out
I have the most wonderful husband in the world.
He helps me with everything - dishes, laundry - you name it. He does the vacuuming and washes the floors once a week for me.
We cook together, shop together and everything - I'm 33 weeks pregnant now and he's stepped up even further to help me out around the house.
Sometimes I think when they made him, they broke the mold.
Trust me, I know how irritating it can be. Remind him that you work too and that you are also a little busy creating another human life inside of your own body. Seriously though, this is the way that he has been conditioned. It sounds like he grew up with one of ';those'; moms that taught him that women do everything in the house so that he can relax and enjoy life. While that's all sunshine and daisies to his mother, that's not how you were brought up. Its a common ground that the two of you are going to have to come to. One of MANY compromises within a marriage.
The two of you need to have a serious sit down talk. Let him know how frustrated you are. Let him know that you try to understand that he works longer hours, but that in no way justifies him doing absolutely NO housework. It may take a few long talks, but hopefully you'll be able to establish a fair agreement. If he's convinced that its ';woman's work'; though and he shouldn't even bother lifting a finger, then more serious steps may be needed, such as marriage counseling. Did you not realize he was this way when you first got together? I could never marry a man that had the ';women should be in the home'; mentality.
(On a side note: when we both worked, the housework was split up almost 50/50. Now that I'm a full-time stay-at-home-mom, I do most of the house work, but he still cooks dinner every night, does all the laundry and takes the trash out to the curb. He also empties the dishwasher because I hate doing that.)
He sounds like an ***.
My fiance does dishes, laundry (including the folding and putting away the clothes) trash, kitchen, office AND Litterbox. I do the bathroom, bedroom, livingroom, vaccuming, and feeding our animals. We take turns cooking. We definately share the household responsibilities. I swear, if I ever get pregnant, he won't let me lift a finger.
Tell your boyfriend to grow up and stop being so lazy. If you both work, and you share the home, than you share the responsibilities that come with it. There is no such thing as
'women's work'
hmm...well, let's see - everything my wife and I do, we do together - and i mean everything - dishes, laundry, grocery shopping, cleaning, cooking
sounds like your man needs to get off his duff and help around the house
my husband is the same but his mum ran round stupid after his dad so he assumed i would be the same he does hoover once in a while do the dishes if im working late
my mother in law said to me she is shocked i dont have his tea waitng on the table for him when he comes in
im not his frigging maid.
and i dont remember there being anything in our vows which ment i was his servant.
a leporad never changes his spots get use to it.
You didn't train him properly to begin with. My husband knows if he wants something done he better do it himself.
There are a few men out there who are truly equal partners in a marriage, but most are not. They help some, but definitely overemphasize how much they help. As in ';I do so much around here, I feel like a girl now!'; when in reality they're doing about 10% if even that.
My DH is the worst. He does help some, but it's not nearly enough. I work 60 hours a week and have our child with me at my business. I work all weekend and he's off. So what does he do? He says ';it's too difficult watching her to do anything.';
So when I get home from work, I'm left cleaning the rest of the day. Then he bitches when I'm tired from working all day and cleaning all night.
I'm telling you. If men could learn ONE THING from this question it's this: HELP OUT MORE AROUND THE HOUSE. THE MORE YOU DO FOR YOUR WIFE/GIRLFRIEND THE MORE LOVING SHE WILL BE TOWARDS YOU. It shows her you love her and care about her. Also, it's difficult to be romantic when you're so dang tired from working %26amp; cleaning while they sit on their butt.
I hear ya. I did learn a few years ago that most men are like that. They think they help out but don't help much. Just accept your husband the way he is or have him pay for a maid. You both work, surely you can afford it?
Good luck.
i really don't no what 2 say. if i was u i'd sit at home all day doing nothing. he'd get the picture. tell him u need help. i mean yeah he works and u don't, but u have a baby inside and thats working hard. how about this u do the light stuff like making da bed and dusting,let him mop the floor and take out the trash. tell him u want a 50/50 thing
oh wow I would kill him.. before i got preggo with this one he did the same thing, but since about 7 months pregnant he tells me to go lay down, my ony real responsibility is go to work and make dinner for him and our 4 year old, he gets home right before me so I usually find the house cleaned, or picked up, candles lit (i love the smell when i walk in) and him on the couch just waiting... it is sooo sweet.. oh and we basically have a deal I cook you wash dishes that way I am not on my feet for tooo long... I love the hubby!
Wow...he sounds like a bit of a chauvinist pig to me!! My partner's been great with helping around the house since I found out we are expecting....and I know I'm very lucky! I wash our clothes and clean ('cos I enjoy it!) and he does all the tidying, hoovering, dishes and makes dinner most nights as he's in before me....he also does the food shopping on a Sunday himself as I'm working!! One lucky girl here!!
If I were you I'd go on strike!!
For the most part, I am expected to do everything. Though, he will help out if he gets sick of the mess. lol. I'm not the best cleaner in the world. Besides, I'm also taking care of 3 kids all day. My husband does the yard work and snow removal as well. He'll cook if I need him to, load the dishwasher if I ask. Generally, he's quite agreeable but the housework is still my job. When I was pregnant, I wasn't allowed to carry the laundry up or down. Our bathroom and bedrooms are on the second floor and the washer is in the basement. He was concerned I would fall or hurt myself if I did that, so he said he'd carry it for me. Other than that, I can't remember any special treatment when I was pregnant. Good luck with your man! Ask him for help. At least he helps, even if he is grumbling about it.
What a jerk!! Obviously this guy has no idea how hard it is to be pregnant...and work...and take care of a house! Well anyway you can, you need to resolve this issue NOW! because it sounds like this is your first baby, and I can tell you, that neither of you truly know how much work a new baby is!!! You are really going to need his help taking care of not only your new little one, but also with other errands and chores around the house! It is too much for you to work, take care of a newborn, take care of the house and cook! You will be worn so thin!! Your husband is lazy if he thinks that working is soooo ';hard';, he has no idea and maybe to show him what life would be like without you doing everything, you need to stop doing it! Stop picking up after him, stop making him dinner, and stop straightening up around the house, when all of these ';luxuries'; suddenly aren't there anymore and he has to do them, he will realize how much work it is! I have been very lucky, my husband is wonderful and not only does he take care of our 8 month old daughter, he also does laundry and dishes, and all the ';yard'; stuff. Now he doesn't cook at all, but he claims it is because he doesn't know how :- ) but he is so helpful with everything else that I don't mind!
Ya this sounds pretty ';typical';. The man I live with is the same way and I'm 38 weeks along. You know what? I do what I can and when I can get it done too. If I can't then I don't do it.
You both work. In his mind I'm sure he thinks ';his job is harder';. He has no idea. That's because he's had a mother take care of everything for him for x amount of years right? exactly. The guy hasn't lived alone obviously nor has he learned ';responsibility';.
If you think it's bad now wait til the baby is born. You'll have double the fun like one poster said. I'd tell him to get off his ';a**'; %26amp; help if he doesn't want to be paying child support eventually. Tell him you're unhappy and sick of it. Make sure you mean it and if you do, that you'll follow through if he does nothing to help further.
I'm sorry you're going through this. You're not alone trust me. This is why my mother had only one child and my cousin's wife had no children (and eventually left him too). My mother is terribly unhappy in the household. So am I right now but you know what!! Whatever. And men wonder why we become ';men haters';. Figure that one out. LOL
I would be extremely hard to be with a man like that. I like to cook for my boyfriend and I like to clean on the weekends but not everyday.
Anyway, I guess he is use to being taken care of by his mom. Some men just never grow up.
We live in a modern society where women now have two roles, housekeeping and working. I firmly believe the roles should be shared. Tell him how you feel, try not to act like your on his case but that you need his help.
If he doesn't get the message, put it down on paper. Write a list of what you both do and way it up. Visually being able to see how much each of you do should hopefully show each other if the work load is fair or not.
It worked for me my partner, he is very helpful, but the fact the housekeeping needs to be equal has always been clear.
I do most of the housework since I work 2 days a week to his 5 days a week, but he doesn't have a problem helping me. I have been very ill during my pregnancy so far, and he has helped out even more. One thing I like about him is that he doesnt believe in ';man's'; or ';women's'; work. I know that if I were the one to work more, he would be the one doing more of the housework. But we do it as a team, know it has to get done, and dont fight about it. Teamwork, respect, and seeing each other as an equal person is what makes a marriage stable. Neither of us would have it any other way.
I hate to say this but I guess I never realized how much my guy does around the house,until now! So try talking to him but, this cant be something new. You must have known this is who he was before you got pregnant. Hopfully things will get a lil better but once this babies out it will be way more hetic. Also as for his mom being his caretaker, mine is in the same boat but he's getting alot better, and takes care of me and my baby. Now this may wear off once the babies born but it's not his mom's fault. He needs to want to do housework, maybe he can do them once a month.
I personally hat housework. I'm a married guy. But, due to cancer and heart attacks I'm disabled and cannot work. My wife works at a pharmacy 7 days on and 7 off. My mother-in-law lives with us. My wife made a deal with me. I have to do dishes (we have a dishwasher so it's just putting dirty ones in and taking clean ones out), keep kitchen clean, floor, too. I vacuum the downstairs every other day, help with the laundry and cooking. I sometimes do the grocery shopping. I take care of the yard....well, I mow and we share the rest and I help with the mother-in-law. I'm not always perfect about my share, but, I try. It really helped when she made a list so I could actually SEE what she expected of me. It's not that bad, really. Maybe your husband needs a list? Be fair and make one and tell him you need help with those things. Be strong like Janie my wife and don't let up on him. If your list is fair he'll eventually do it. I did. And I hate housework. Good luck! If I can do it so can he!
I'm spoiled...My husband waits on me hand and foot, even if it is right after work. He at least asks me if he can sit and relax for a few minutes before he does anything. Which is totally fine with me.
Usually, I am the one who initiates the cleaning though, go figure. Haha! We have our bad days, though. There will be days where I'm not in the best of moods and it rubs off on him and he gets mad and is stubborn about getting something if I ask.
My husband works almost 14 hour shifts in the Marine Corps, and his job is not the easiest, most of the time he wants to go straight to bed after getting home; but he knows I am busy with school since I am getting my doctorate in Radiology and Cancer Prevention and I also work at a hospital, I am also preggo.
Your guy sounds a bit stubborn, but maybe work really wears him out at the end of the day. What I do when I clean, I usually clean one area every day and when when we use the area, we just be sure to clean up after we're done with it.
If I clean the kitchen one day, I ask my husband to do his part in helping keeping it clean. Just like the laundry...Instead of letting it pile up, I wash clothes every three days...This way I don't have to pile up all my laundry into one day. We also have a maid and she comes every other weekend. She's a bit expensive, considering we live in LA and the maids don't come cheap; but having a maid come at least once a month makes a big difference. It also gives you a head start on keeping the house clean longer.
My fiance works between 45-60 hour weeks. I work between 24-34 depending on my work schedule. I'm pretty much the one that maintains the house since I work less, but he does his part. (Even if he didn't, I wouldn't complain too much. He pays the bills!) Last night he randomly cleaned out and organized all the cupboards, and he'll clean up after himself. But usually, if I'm home, I'll cook dinner and clean the house and vacuum and all that stuff. He helps me with the laundry since it's difficult to bend over. I wake up the same time he does and go to bed the same time that he does.
Your boyfriend clearly is used to having everything done for him. Regardless of whether or not he works 12 hour days, he needs to be able to clean up after himself. Remind him that you're tired and as well as working you're busy growing a human! Tell him you need help.
Bless your heart! My husband is absolutely wonderful! He does EVERYTHING! Especially now that I am pregnant, he doesn't like me to help around the house, he tells me: ';It's ok honey, go sit down, I've got it!'; He's always been like that though, not just because I'm pregnant, he's really picky about his house work and he is constantly going. He can't stand for anything to be messy or out of place. He does all the cleaning, laundry, dishes (although I try to sneak in there and get them done before he notices) and did I mention he does ALL the cooking! He loves it! I know, I have a deam husband, he's the most amazing man in the world. I don't know anyone else like him, I definately got lucky. I wish you all could have husbands like I do. I am never letting him go!
Being a working mom is a lot of sacrifice. I understand, women need extra hands in your situation. But we just can't have what we need at times because of financial considerations. It is good though that you aren't having a hard time with pregnancy except for the house chores and serving your husband's needs. Look at it the other way - the chores you do would substitute for the little exercise pregnant women need; serving your husband is living up to your vows as a wife. Yes, it is normal for most women to be doing what you do now, in that situation. Though some men would do more around the house when their wives are pregnant, specially those with delicate pregnancy.
Sitting and spending a little time with your hubby is precious time for your relationship. Its that little time that connects you to each other after a whole day's work. It means to me that he still cares, just that he wasn't used to doing chores at home. That's a lot better than ';cheating'; on you. And, he may be working harder because of the upcoming baby's needs. That tires him a lot.
So put up a positive outlook for your situation. You're still better of than some women whose husbands cheat on them
when they are pregnant, because their wives cannot serve their needs when pre-occupied with their pregnancy and house chores.
Good luck, take good care of the baby no matter how busy you are.
My husband is great!! He helps around the house, helps take care of the other kids, does all the yard work (unless I feel the need to get out of the house), works 50-60 hours a week outside and takes care of the animals. There are only a few things that my husband doesn't like doing and they are the dishes and laundry. He will rinse the dishes and stack them in the sink and he folds laundry and puts it away ( he says he doesn't want to wash it in fear of dying something. LOL) Now don't take this the wrong way, I do stay at home and clean the house and all that, but when he is home he helps out with it all. My husband loves to cook, but he gets home late so he usually only cooks on the weekends.
I know a couple of guys like this and I don't think there is really anything you can do to change them. One guy I know is so bad that he is 32 years old and still lives with his mother. She does everything for him including laying out his clothes and waking him up to go to work. She even pays his bills including his child support.
I would say that if he can't get off his butt and help out with things and talking to him doesn't work, leave him. You don't need 2 kids to take care of. A newborn will be enough work!!! If you leave that might be a wake up call for him! GOOD LUCK!!
I have to admit that my husband is pretty helpful around the house. He helps out a lot with laundry which is so nice, although he pulls the clothes out of the dryer and plops them on the floor, but hey at least they get clean. On his days off he helps around the house, picking up and things like that. I've noticed that there is times where he really helps and times that he won't do a thing (normally when he's really stressed). I've also noticed that whenever I ask him to do anything, well if I complain a little, he won't do a thing. If I don't say anything, he'll automatically help me, so I just say thank him for the help and tell him I appreciate. But I grew up in a house where my father never did a thing, except his own work, so it's quite a change. I guess it depends on the guy and how they were raised. Like my husbands mom is obsessive compulsive with cleaning so my husband has to have things clean, which is such a good thing. I can't believe your husbands mom did everything for him. Why is it that with boys usually mom's baby them more. Or at least I've seen that working with kids. I guess all we can do is teach our kids to pick up after themselves and to help out around the house.
He does do all of the yard work except for weeding (thats womens work) and keeps our back porch cleaned off, but I am so frustrated. Growing up my dad helped with the housework and every bf I have had before has been a cleaner/cooker. He shared a house with his mom and she would do everything for him, even made his bed every morning!
Is this normal?
When I first got preg. he did help out some but now the novelty has worn off I guess...How much does your husband/bf do aroung the house?
My husband does a LOT, in my opinion.
I do all the cooking (from scratch), and wash the dishes half the time. I pick up things here and there, and do laundry sometimes.
My husband rarely cooks, but would if I asked him to.
He does most of the laundry now, since my tummy is too big to reach down into the washer, but I still do some laundry.
My husband does all the vaccuuming, mopping, and bathroom cleaning.
He helps with changing diapers on our toddler.
We live in an apartment, so he doesn't have any yard work to do, but he runs all the errands if I ask him to.
If he wants a ';drink';, he gets it himself. I don't drink, and I would prefer that he not drink at all, but his having one drink a week won't kill him (or me).
My husband would never throw a fit about having to help prepare dinner. He's a good guy
I would suggest that you start cutting back on the stuff you do, and that if he gets upset, that he'll need to start helping out a little more. You are still quite early in your pregnancy, but it isn't going to get any easier bending down to pick up socks.
(My husband throws his clothing in all corners of our house when he gets home from work, and I know he is exhausted. He works in a physical job. However, seeing socks on the floor doesn't bother me at all.
If your husband starts getting mad that his socks are still on the floor after 3 days, then just tell him that he needs to put them in the laundry basket the MOMENT he takes them off.
I get stressed very easily, so I choose not to worry about the ';small stuff';....socks are just that.
I am sorry that your husband isn't helping more. Yard work is a big big job, but he might not understand pregnancy. Does he go to your prenatal visits with you? Maybe if you could talk to your obgyn ahead of time, and get the obgyn to just say a couple words to your husband about the fact that you have certain conditions right now that might make him have to take on a little extra responsibility.
I personally love to cook for my husband, so that doesn't bother me. However, I am a terrible housekeeper, and if my husband doesn't get too upset about it, I won't get too upset when he's too tired to clean too.
Your husband DOES dirty the house up, as much as you (and the rest of the family?), so he needs to get out of his 1950's stereotype of the little ';homemaker';.
Maybe he would have more energy if he didn't drink right after work too?
Hang in there, but try to resolve part of the dispute before you get huge, and it becomes more of an issue.How much does your husband/bf do aroung the house?
talk to his mommy.
he does nothing.. but then im in the house all day while hes out working, so i have the time and he doesnt, nd he works really hard for both of us and deserves to put his feet up!!
well actually... he does most of the cooking as he would most likely end up with food poisoning if i did!! lol!!
he doesnt expect me to do it all, but i have it done by the time he gets home so theres not much he can do about it!!
why on earth did i get thumbs down for saying my own experience? oookaaay then!
Wow! My husband has been really helpful. I have not been feeling really well and he has been going to work from 6:30 (he gets up at 5:30) and works till got 6-8 sometimes.... He still comes home and helps me clean dishes. He's not a really good cook but he tries. I would have a talk with him.... whats going to happen when the baby gets here.... will it be the same thing?!?!?
I could see his point if you were home alone all day and not working. But you are contributing to the household income too, so you absolutely do need help around the house. He was raised to think certain things are done by the woman, and some things are done by the man.
If I were you, I would tell him that I need his help. If he refused, I would only clean up after myself and prepare things only for myself. I've done it before with my husband, and he got the message. He's fantastic at helping out now.
Good luck, and rest as much as possible before the wee one comes!
I would absolutely go nuts at my husband if he where like that! You ar working full time Plus your pregnant, it seems even worse as you'd be exhausted all the time! Maybe you have to start getting firmer with him as that is pure laziness (sorry to be harsh about him), if you are working he should do half of the house work, inside and out.....I would put my foot down as he seems to be taking advantage of you. Good luck!!!
You know what stop doing it all. Dont cook for him and wait on him. Dont pick up after him. When he asks for his dinner tell him to make his own. Mairrage is for 2 people. If he doesnt want to help than maybe he shouldnt be married its only going to get worse when the baby comes. Stand up for your self and DONOT be his maid. And dont give him any either I promise when you are too tired for sex because you are constanly working, cooking, and cleaning he will help out or do with out
I have the most wonderful husband in the world.
He helps me with everything - dishes, laundry - you name it. He does the vacuuming and washes the floors once a week for me.
We cook together, shop together and everything - I'm 33 weeks pregnant now and he's stepped up even further to help me out around the house.
Sometimes I think when they made him, they broke the mold.
Trust me, I know how irritating it can be. Remind him that you work too and that you are also a little busy creating another human life inside of your own body. Seriously though, this is the way that he has been conditioned. It sounds like he grew up with one of ';those'; moms that taught him that women do everything in the house so that he can relax and enjoy life. While that's all sunshine and daisies to his mother, that's not how you were brought up. Its a common ground that the two of you are going to have to come to. One of MANY compromises within a marriage.
The two of you need to have a serious sit down talk. Let him know how frustrated you are. Let him know that you try to understand that he works longer hours, but that in no way justifies him doing absolutely NO housework. It may take a few long talks, but hopefully you'll be able to establish a fair agreement. If he's convinced that its ';woman's work'; though and he shouldn't even bother lifting a finger, then more serious steps may be needed, such as marriage counseling. Did you not realize he was this way when you first got together? I could never marry a man that had the ';women should be in the home'; mentality.
(On a side note: when we both worked, the housework was split up almost 50/50. Now that I'm a full-time stay-at-home-mom, I do most of the house work, but he still cooks dinner every night, does all the laundry and takes the trash out to the curb. He also empties the dishwasher because I hate doing that.)
He sounds like an ***.
My fiance does dishes, laundry (including the folding and putting away the clothes) trash, kitchen, office AND Litterbox. I do the bathroom, bedroom, livingroom, vaccuming, and feeding our animals. We take turns cooking. We definately share the household responsibilities. I swear, if I ever get pregnant, he won't let me lift a finger.
Tell your boyfriend to grow up and stop being so lazy. If you both work, and you share the home, than you share the responsibilities that come with it. There is no such thing as
'women's work'
hmm...well, let's see - everything my wife and I do, we do together - and i mean everything - dishes, laundry, grocery shopping, cleaning, cooking
sounds like your man needs to get off his duff and help around the house
my husband is the same but his mum ran round stupid after his dad so he assumed i would be the same he does hoover once in a while do the dishes if im working late
my mother in law said to me she is shocked i dont have his tea waitng on the table for him when he comes in
im not his frigging maid.
and i dont remember there being anything in our vows which ment i was his servant.
a leporad never changes his spots get use to it.
You didn't train him properly to begin with. My husband knows if he wants something done he better do it himself.
There are a few men out there who are truly equal partners in a marriage, but most are not. They help some, but definitely overemphasize how much they help. As in ';I do so much around here, I feel like a girl now!'; when in reality they're doing about 10% if even that.
My DH is the worst. He does help some, but it's not nearly enough. I work 60 hours a week and have our child with me at my business. I work all weekend and he's off. So what does he do? He says ';it's too difficult watching her to do anything.';
So when I get home from work, I'm left cleaning the rest of the day. Then he bitches when I'm tired from working all day and cleaning all night.
I'm telling you. If men could learn ONE THING from this question it's this: HELP OUT MORE AROUND THE HOUSE. THE MORE YOU DO FOR YOUR WIFE/GIRLFRIEND THE MORE LOVING SHE WILL BE TOWARDS YOU. It shows her you love her and care about her. Also, it's difficult to be romantic when you're so dang tired from working %26amp; cleaning while they sit on their butt.
I hear ya. I did learn a few years ago that most men are like that. They think they help out but don't help much. Just accept your husband the way he is or have him pay for a maid. You both work, surely you can afford it?
Good luck.
i really don't no what 2 say. if i was u i'd sit at home all day doing nothing. he'd get the picture. tell him u need help. i mean yeah he works and u don't, but u have a baby inside and thats working hard. how about this u do the light stuff like making da bed and dusting,let him mop the floor and take out the trash. tell him u want a 50/50 thing
oh wow I would kill him.. before i got preggo with this one he did the same thing, but since about 7 months pregnant he tells me to go lay down, my ony real responsibility is go to work and make dinner for him and our 4 year old, he gets home right before me so I usually find the house cleaned, or picked up, candles lit (i love the smell when i walk in) and him on the couch just waiting... it is sooo sweet.. oh and we basically have a deal I cook you wash dishes that way I am not on my feet for tooo long... I love the hubby!
Wow...he sounds like a bit of a chauvinist pig to me!! My partner's been great with helping around the house since I found out we are expecting....and I know I'm very lucky! I wash our clothes and clean ('cos I enjoy it!) and he does all the tidying, hoovering, dishes and makes dinner most nights as he's in before me....he also does the food shopping on a Sunday himself as I'm working!! One lucky girl here!!
If I were you I'd go on strike!!
For the most part, I am expected to do everything. Though, he will help out if he gets sick of the mess. lol. I'm not the best cleaner in the world. Besides, I'm also taking care of 3 kids all day. My husband does the yard work and snow removal as well. He'll cook if I need him to, load the dishwasher if I ask. Generally, he's quite agreeable but the housework is still my job. When I was pregnant, I wasn't allowed to carry the laundry up or down. Our bathroom and bedrooms are on the second floor and the washer is in the basement. He was concerned I would fall or hurt myself if I did that, so he said he'd carry it for me. Other than that, I can't remember any special treatment when I was pregnant. Good luck with your man! Ask him for help. At least he helps, even if he is grumbling about it.
What a jerk!! Obviously this guy has no idea how hard it is to be pregnant...and work...and take care of a house! Well anyway you can, you need to resolve this issue NOW! because it sounds like this is your first baby, and I can tell you, that neither of you truly know how much work a new baby is!!! You are really going to need his help taking care of not only your new little one, but also with other errands and chores around the house! It is too much for you to work, take care of a newborn, take care of the house and cook! You will be worn so thin!! Your husband is lazy if he thinks that working is soooo ';hard';, he has no idea and maybe to show him what life would be like without you doing everything, you need to stop doing it! Stop picking up after him, stop making him dinner, and stop straightening up around the house, when all of these ';luxuries'; suddenly aren't there anymore and he has to do them, he will realize how much work it is! I have been very lucky, my husband is wonderful and not only does he take care of our 8 month old daughter, he also does laundry and dishes, and all the ';yard'; stuff. Now he doesn't cook at all, but he claims it is because he doesn't know how :- ) but he is so helpful with everything else that I don't mind!
Ya this sounds pretty ';typical';. The man I live with is the same way and I'm 38 weeks along. You know what? I do what I can and when I can get it done too. If I can't then I don't do it.
You both work. In his mind I'm sure he thinks ';his job is harder';. He has no idea. That's because he's had a mother take care of everything for him for x amount of years right? exactly. The guy hasn't lived alone obviously nor has he learned ';responsibility';.
If you think it's bad now wait til the baby is born. You'll have double the fun like one poster said. I'd tell him to get off his ';a**'; %26amp; help if he doesn't want to be paying child support eventually. Tell him you're unhappy and sick of it. Make sure you mean it and if you do, that you'll follow through if he does nothing to help further.
I'm sorry you're going through this. You're not alone trust me. This is why my mother had only one child and my cousin's wife had no children (and eventually left him too). My mother is terribly unhappy in the household. So am I right now but you know what!! Whatever. And men wonder why we become ';men haters';. Figure that one out. LOL
I would be extremely hard to be with a man like that. I like to cook for my boyfriend and I like to clean on the weekends but not everyday.
Anyway, I guess he is use to being taken care of by his mom. Some men just never grow up.
We live in a modern society where women now have two roles, housekeeping and working. I firmly believe the roles should be shared. Tell him how you feel, try not to act like your on his case but that you need his help.
If he doesn't get the message, put it down on paper. Write a list of what you both do and way it up. Visually being able to see how much each of you do should hopefully show each other if the work load is fair or not.
It worked for me my partner, he is very helpful, but the fact the housekeeping needs to be equal has always been clear.
I do most of the housework since I work 2 days a week to his 5 days a week, but he doesn't have a problem helping me. I have been very ill during my pregnancy so far, and he has helped out even more. One thing I like about him is that he doesnt believe in ';man's'; or ';women's'; work. I know that if I were the one to work more, he would be the one doing more of the housework. But we do it as a team, know it has to get done, and dont fight about it. Teamwork, respect, and seeing each other as an equal person is what makes a marriage stable. Neither of us would have it any other way.
I hate to say this but I guess I never realized how much my guy does around the house,until now! So try talking to him but, this cant be something new. You must have known this is who he was before you got pregnant. Hopfully things will get a lil better but once this babies out it will be way more hetic. Also as for his mom being his caretaker, mine is in the same boat but he's getting alot better, and takes care of me and my baby. Now this may wear off once the babies born but it's not his mom's fault. He needs to want to do housework, maybe he can do them once a month.
I personally hat housework. I'm a married guy. But, due to cancer and heart attacks I'm disabled and cannot work. My wife works at a pharmacy 7 days on and 7 off. My mother-in-law lives with us. My wife made a deal with me. I have to do dishes (we have a dishwasher so it's just putting dirty ones in and taking clean ones out), keep kitchen clean, floor, too. I vacuum the downstairs every other day, help with the laundry and cooking. I sometimes do the grocery shopping. I take care of the yard....well, I mow and we share the rest and I help with the mother-in-law. I'm not always perfect about my share, but, I try. It really helped when she made a list so I could actually SEE what she expected of me. It's not that bad, really. Maybe your husband needs a list? Be fair and make one and tell him you need help with those things. Be strong like Janie my wife and don't let up on him. If your list is fair he'll eventually do it. I did. And I hate housework. Good luck! If I can do it so can he!
I'm spoiled...My husband waits on me hand and foot, even if it is right after work. He at least asks me if he can sit and relax for a few minutes before he does anything. Which is totally fine with me.
Usually, I am the one who initiates the cleaning though, go figure. Haha! We have our bad days, though. There will be days where I'm not in the best of moods and it rubs off on him and he gets mad and is stubborn about getting something if I ask.
My husband works almost 14 hour shifts in the Marine Corps, and his job is not the easiest, most of the time he wants to go straight to bed after getting home; but he knows I am busy with school since I am getting my doctorate in Radiology and Cancer Prevention and I also work at a hospital, I am also preggo.
Your guy sounds a bit stubborn, but maybe work really wears him out at the end of the day. What I do when I clean, I usually clean one area every day and when when we use the area, we just be sure to clean up after we're done with it.
If I clean the kitchen one day, I ask my husband to do his part in helping keeping it clean. Just like the laundry...Instead of letting it pile up, I wash clothes every three days...This way I don't have to pile up all my laundry into one day. We also have a maid and she comes every other weekend. She's a bit expensive, considering we live in LA and the maids don't come cheap; but having a maid come at least once a month makes a big difference. It also gives you a head start on keeping the house clean longer.
My fiance works between 45-60 hour weeks. I work between 24-34 depending on my work schedule. I'm pretty much the one that maintains the house since I work less, but he does his part. (Even if he didn't, I wouldn't complain too much. He pays the bills!) Last night he randomly cleaned out and organized all the cupboards, and he'll clean up after himself. But usually, if I'm home, I'll cook dinner and clean the house and vacuum and all that stuff. He helps me with the laundry since it's difficult to bend over. I wake up the same time he does and go to bed the same time that he does.
Your boyfriend clearly is used to having everything done for him. Regardless of whether or not he works 12 hour days, he needs to be able to clean up after himself. Remind him that you're tired and as well as working you're busy growing a human! Tell him you need help.
Bless your heart! My husband is absolutely wonderful! He does EVERYTHING! Especially now that I am pregnant, he doesn't like me to help around the house, he tells me: ';It's ok honey, go sit down, I've got it!'; He's always been like that though, not just because I'm pregnant, he's really picky about his house work and he is constantly going. He can't stand for anything to be messy or out of place. He does all the cleaning, laundry, dishes (although I try to sneak in there and get them done before he notices) and did I mention he does ALL the cooking! He loves it! I know, I have a deam husband, he's the most amazing man in the world. I don't know anyone else like him, I definately got lucky. I wish you all could have husbands like I do. I am never letting him go!
Being a working mom is a lot of sacrifice. I understand, women need extra hands in your situation. But we just can't have what we need at times because of financial considerations. It is good though that you aren't having a hard time with pregnancy except for the house chores and serving your husband's needs. Look at it the other way - the chores you do would substitute for the little exercise pregnant women need; serving your husband is living up to your vows as a wife. Yes, it is normal for most women to be doing what you do now, in that situation. Though some men would do more around the house when their wives are pregnant, specially those with delicate pregnancy.
Sitting and spending a little time with your hubby is precious time for your relationship. Its that little time that connects you to each other after a whole day's work. It means to me that he still cares, just that he wasn't used to doing chores at home. That's a lot better than ';cheating'; on you. And, he may be working harder because of the upcoming baby's needs. That tires him a lot.
So put up a positive outlook for your situation. You're still better of than some women whose husbands cheat on them
when they are pregnant, because their wives cannot serve their needs when pre-occupied with their pregnancy and house chores.
Good luck, take good care of the baby no matter how busy you are.
My husband is great!! He helps around the house, helps take care of the other kids, does all the yard work (unless I feel the need to get out of the house), works 50-60 hours a week outside and takes care of the animals. There are only a few things that my husband doesn't like doing and they are the dishes and laundry. He will rinse the dishes and stack them in the sink and he folds laundry and puts it away ( he says he doesn't want to wash it in fear of dying something. LOL) Now don't take this the wrong way, I do stay at home and clean the house and all that, but when he is home he helps out with it all. My husband loves to cook, but he gets home late so he usually only cooks on the weekends.
I know a couple of guys like this and I don't think there is really anything you can do to change them. One guy I know is so bad that he is 32 years old and still lives with his mother. She does everything for him including laying out his clothes and waking him up to go to work. She even pays his bills including his child support.
I would say that if he can't get off his butt and help out with things and talking to him doesn't work, leave him. You don't need 2 kids to take care of. A newborn will be enough work!!! If you leave that might be a wake up call for him! GOOD LUCK!!
I have to admit that my husband is pretty helpful around the house. He helps out a lot with laundry which is so nice, although he pulls the clothes out of the dryer and plops them on the floor, but hey at least they get clean. On his days off he helps around the house, picking up and things like that. I've noticed that there is times where he really helps and times that he won't do a thing (normally when he's really stressed). I've also noticed that whenever I ask him to do anything, well if I complain a little, he won't do a thing. If I don't say anything, he'll automatically help me, so I just say thank him for the help and tell him I appreciate. But I grew up in a house where my father never did a thing, except his own work, so it's quite a change. I guess it depends on the guy and how they were raised. Like my husbands mom is obsessive compulsive with cleaning so my husband has to have things clean, which is such a good thing. I can't believe your husbands mom did everything for him. Why is it that with boys usually mom's baby them more. Or at least I've seen that working with kids. I guess all we can do is teach our kids to pick up after themselves and to help out around the house.
Why won't my parents see that I'm responsible?
*Warning. Beep beep. Waring. A lot of ranting coming up. Warning.*
I'm 12, almost 13, and homeschooled. I have an autistic sister, and after several months of trying to convince my parents for pet guinea pigs, I have two. I'm trying to get a Summer job. Anything like, pulling weeds and doing yard work to babysitting to even a measly bake sale!
They ALWAYS say that I'm not responsible enough. My mom says: ';Isus namun! (or something like that... it's a Tagalog ';Oh, please'; in English) You can't even keep your room clean(I do, I'm not kidding!) if you can't take care of a room, how can we expect you to be responsible enough for a job?';
And my dad says: ';... *sighs* We've DISCUSSED this several times in the past! You have to maintain your level of responsibility for a LONG time. So far, you're not showing us anything that's helping.';
I DON'T SEE WHY! *is feeling angry and disappointed*
I get straight A's ALL the time, I clean the kitchen bare for my mom at night, and scrub the table spot clean, I pick up after everyone, and they all think my MOM does it! Sure, she does the laundry and the cooking, and all the big stuff... but do they notice who does the LITTLE stuff?
All I want is an odd job to do over the Summer! It's no big deal since I'm bored out of my skull all day, just waiting for something to do!
I've been waiting and trying SO hard to just be... responsible!!!
Getting straight A's is MUCH more easier than being responsible!
I don't talk back, even though I feel like SCREAMING some times, when a conversation goes like this:
Mom(right next to me): Where's your sister?
Me: In the bathroom.
Mom: Huh?
Me: In the bathroom, mom.
Mom: What?
Me: *speaks a little louder* She's in the bathroom.
Mom: *slaps* You!!! Don't talk back to me like that! You're so arrogant and... and... *waves finger frantically* PROUD!(I'm not kidding, she does that and its not funny at all.)
Me: Sorry.
Mom: ';Sorry, sorry'; *mocks*!!! DON'T DO THAT AGAIN!
Me: Okay *sighs*
Mom: *mocks* ';Okay, okay';... *disgusted look*... *that growl that Marge does in the Simpsons*
WHAT AM I DOING WRONG? :(
All I want is to be able to get experiences. My dad always said to invest in myself, and even though I am by following my dream to be a composer, I want to try new things too! And he always says the same thing, even though it doesn't make any sense sometimes to what I said: You have to... maintain a level of responsibility. We're not seeing any responsibility so far. Now go away.
... Well, that was long. Sorry! *gets pulled into these things a lot*
So, why aren't my parents thinking that I'm responsible if I';m doing all I can (I often ask my mom if I can help, and she says: Just.. go over there! I'm busy. You'll just make things worse.) and trying as hard as I can? How can I make them think- no, KNOW that I'm responsible?
I want to be responsible SO bad, so I can babysit or whatever with my friends who don't even clean their rooms EVER (and sometimes, which is VERY awkward, their moms sometimes clean their rooms for them! Bleh...) and their parents say that they're more responsible than any other kid they've ever seen.
*is jealous, in a way*Why won't my parents see that I'm responsible?
You need to grow a backbone. Grow a pair. There's no way you will be expected to live for yourself if you just sit back and take all this punishment. Your mom is mocking you only because she knows you won't react. You are 12, showing signs of maturity but you've got a ways to go. Once in a while, stick up for yourself, relationships are based on compromises - which you've noticed when getting your guinea pigs, but only in a minor sense. This is the beginning of mental adolescence IMO, and there will be plenty of little ';battles'; to come.Why won't my parents see that I'm responsible?
your moms a ***** dude.
look at this!!
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;鈥?/a>
would you feel comfortable enough to show this to one of your parents maybe both?
if they speak English.......caus i think if you do this will show them whats going on
if that doesnt work out than i guess your parents just dont you to get the pig or the job for some reason and their using the ';not responsible enough'; line to get away from the REAL reason
Get yourself the odd jobs. save your money. some people like your parents are just not able to be pleased. the fact that your only 12 doesn't help. sadly, when your that age, you think you know everything... you don't. and when you 25, you'll finally admit that you don't know jack. adults tend to take it out of context though and act just like your parents. Your probably not doing anything wrong. your parents are just... ignorant. good luck.
Wow, first off, let me commend you for being as young as you are and typing your entire question with good grammar. *Gives standing ovation* There are people on here who are MY age and older (I'm 20, almost 21) who have the worst spelling and grammar I've ever seen. So good work on that.
Secondly, you sound very mature for your age. Your language that you typed in and from what you've said, you do sound very mature.
But it sounds like your parents are blind to what a blessing they have and I am very sorry for that. The best thing I can say is keep doing what your doing. Eventually they will see what a great job you are doing. And if they don't then by 16 (some jobs will even accept 14-15 year olds) you can be hired for a real job without needing permission.
But I think you are doing a wonderful job, if it helps at all. I am still in awe as to how well you wrote this question. So many young kids your age are out doing very bad things and making very bad decisions and I know this from experience ( watching my little sister and her friends). So it sounds like you have a good head on your shoulders.
Good luck, sweetie :)
many parents use to see their child like little ,they don't understand that we grow up and change.
Ok. To be almost 13 years old, you sound pretty dang responsible! I'll tell you, my parents are worse!! Ever since I was a junior in high school things got real bad between us. I'd do all kind of chores around the house and mom would be like ';You don't do sh*t!!! I do everything in this house!! '; I'd get so mad! I tried to get a job but they wouldn't like the idea of me working. They wanted me to focus on school, and well I didn't do too well because of the fighting and stress. I turned 18 just a few months ago, they kicked me out without any help whatsoever. I'm now supporting myself, going to school in the mornings and working at nights. I'm telling you, communicate with your parents, before it's too late. I never talked to mine, and look how I ended up. Parents thinks they know everything sometimes, but the truth is they also make mistakes. Just look at me for example, they kicked me out of the house for no reason, now I can't see my 2 younger brothers and that's something I will never forgive them for. I don't wanna see them and they don't wanna see me. All because we didn't know how to communicate. You have the opportunity to make this better, if you don't try I swear to you your parents won't. Also, find a job! It'll give you time away from drama and you could do without some hu?
Hope this helps, :) good luck!
If your parents allowed you to get a job, would you be able to get one? When I was your age, my best friend and I wanted to get jobs really bad. When we tried to get jobs, we found out that we were too young to do anything.
Maybe you can try to set a job up. If one of your friend's babysits for someone and she can't make it one night, tell your parents that she asked if you could go instead and that you want to do it. If your parents say no, without giving you a legitimate reason (like they think it's dangerous or you'll be out too late) then I don't know what you can do. You'll just have to wait until you get older.how to cut hair norton internet security 2008
I'm 12, almost 13, and homeschooled. I have an autistic sister, and after several months of trying to convince my parents for pet guinea pigs, I have two. I'm trying to get a Summer job. Anything like, pulling weeds and doing yard work to babysitting to even a measly bake sale!
They ALWAYS say that I'm not responsible enough. My mom says: ';Isus namun! (or something like that... it's a Tagalog ';Oh, please'; in English) You can't even keep your room clean(I do, I'm not kidding!) if you can't take care of a room, how can we expect you to be responsible enough for a job?';
And my dad says: ';... *sighs* We've DISCUSSED this several times in the past! You have to maintain your level of responsibility for a LONG time. So far, you're not showing us anything that's helping.';
I DON'T SEE WHY! *is feeling angry and disappointed*
I get straight A's ALL the time, I clean the kitchen bare for my mom at night, and scrub the table spot clean, I pick up after everyone, and they all think my MOM does it! Sure, she does the laundry and the cooking, and all the big stuff... but do they notice who does the LITTLE stuff?
All I want is an odd job to do over the Summer! It's no big deal since I'm bored out of my skull all day, just waiting for something to do!
I've been waiting and trying SO hard to just be... responsible!!!
Getting straight A's is MUCH more easier than being responsible!
I don't talk back, even though I feel like SCREAMING some times, when a conversation goes like this:
Mom(right next to me): Where's your sister?
Me: In the bathroom.
Mom: Huh?
Me: In the bathroom, mom.
Mom: What?
Me: *speaks a little louder* She's in the bathroom.
Mom: *slaps* You!!! Don't talk back to me like that! You're so arrogant and... and... *waves finger frantically* PROUD!(I'm not kidding, she does that and its not funny at all.)
Me: Sorry.
Mom: ';Sorry, sorry'; *mocks*!!! DON'T DO THAT AGAIN!
Me: Okay *sighs*
Mom: *mocks* ';Okay, okay';... *disgusted look*... *that growl that Marge does in the Simpsons*
WHAT AM I DOING WRONG? :(
All I want is to be able to get experiences. My dad always said to invest in myself, and even though I am by following my dream to be a composer, I want to try new things too! And he always says the same thing, even though it doesn't make any sense sometimes to what I said: You have to... maintain a level of responsibility. We're not seeing any responsibility so far. Now go away.
... Well, that was long. Sorry! *gets pulled into these things a lot*
So, why aren't my parents thinking that I'm responsible if I';m doing all I can (I often ask my mom if I can help, and she says: Just.. go over there! I'm busy. You'll just make things worse.) and trying as hard as I can? How can I make them think- no, KNOW that I'm responsible?
I want to be responsible SO bad, so I can babysit or whatever with my friends who don't even clean their rooms EVER (and sometimes, which is VERY awkward, their moms sometimes clean their rooms for them! Bleh...) and their parents say that they're more responsible than any other kid they've ever seen.
*is jealous, in a way*Why won't my parents see that I'm responsible?
You need to grow a backbone. Grow a pair. There's no way you will be expected to live for yourself if you just sit back and take all this punishment. Your mom is mocking you only because she knows you won't react. You are 12, showing signs of maturity but you've got a ways to go. Once in a while, stick up for yourself, relationships are based on compromises - which you've noticed when getting your guinea pigs, but only in a minor sense. This is the beginning of mental adolescence IMO, and there will be plenty of little ';battles'; to come.Why won't my parents see that I'm responsible?
your moms a ***** dude.
look at this!!
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;鈥?/a>
would you feel comfortable enough to show this to one of your parents maybe both?
if they speak English.......caus i think if you do this will show them whats going on
if that doesnt work out than i guess your parents just dont you to get the pig or the job for some reason and their using the ';not responsible enough'; line to get away from the REAL reason
Get yourself the odd jobs. save your money. some people like your parents are just not able to be pleased. the fact that your only 12 doesn't help. sadly, when your that age, you think you know everything... you don't. and when you 25, you'll finally admit that you don't know jack. adults tend to take it out of context though and act just like your parents. Your probably not doing anything wrong. your parents are just... ignorant. good luck.
Wow, first off, let me commend you for being as young as you are and typing your entire question with good grammar. *Gives standing ovation* There are people on here who are MY age and older (I'm 20, almost 21) who have the worst spelling and grammar I've ever seen. So good work on that.
Secondly, you sound very mature for your age. Your language that you typed in and from what you've said, you do sound very mature.
But it sounds like your parents are blind to what a blessing they have and I am very sorry for that. The best thing I can say is keep doing what your doing. Eventually they will see what a great job you are doing. And if they don't then by 16 (some jobs will even accept 14-15 year olds) you can be hired for a real job without needing permission.
But I think you are doing a wonderful job, if it helps at all. I am still in awe as to how well you wrote this question. So many young kids your age are out doing very bad things and making very bad decisions and I know this from experience ( watching my little sister and her friends). So it sounds like you have a good head on your shoulders.
Good luck, sweetie :)
many parents use to see their child like little ,they don't understand that we grow up and change.
Ok. To be almost 13 years old, you sound pretty dang responsible! I'll tell you, my parents are worse!! Ever since I was a junior in high school things got real bad between us. I'd do all kind of chores around the house and mom would be like ';You don't do sh*t!!! I do everything in this house!! '; I'd get so mad! I tried to get a job but they wouldn't like the idea of me working. They wanted me to focus on school, and well I didn't do too well because of the fighting and stress. I turned 18 just a few months ago, they kicked me out without any help whatsoever. I'm now supporting myself, going to school in the mornings and working at nights. I'm telling you, communicate with your parents, before it's too late. I never talked to mine, and look how I ended up. Parents thinks they know everything sometimes, but the truth is they also make mistakes. Just look at me for example, they kicked me out of the house for no reason, now I can't see my 2 younger brothers and that's something I will never forgive them for. I don't wanna see them and they don't wanna see me. All because we didn't know how to communicate. You have the opportunity to make this better, if you don't try I swear to you your parents won't. Also, find a job! It'll give you time away from drama and you could do without some hu?
Hope this helps, :) good luck!
If your parents allowed you to get a job, would you be able to get one? When I was your age, my best friend and I wanted to get jobs really bad. When we tried to get jobs, we found out that we were too young to do anything.
Maybe you can try to set a job up. If one of your friend's babysits for someone and she can't make it one night, tell your parents that she asked if you could go instead and that you want to do it. If your parents say no, without giving you a legitimate reason (like they think it's dangerous or you'll be out too late) then I don't know what you can do. You'll just have to wait until you get older.
How do I convince my husband that home schooling our only daughter will give her advantages...?
My husband and I get along like best friends, we can talk about anything and agree except on this one issue.
He keeps coming back will a one-liner argument
';I think she needs to go to school and be a normal kid';. He thinks she won't have friends, a myth, but it's better to have a few good friends than dozens of superficial pretenders.
I've done hours of research and pray for guidance continuously and have my own case against public schooling, but he isn't seeing the bigger, long term picture.
I do not like the lack of morals in the public school systems. They've kicked God out of everything and the results are evident.
I do not like the militant ways of the classrooms, ';sit up and shut up'; or you'll be punished (but the children most out of control and undisciplined are the ones in the least amount of trouble, as if the authorities are afraid of them). I don't think it takes 8 hours a day away from your family for the next 12 crucial years to have an education, I feel most children in the public school systems come from severely dysfunctional/broken families and that to me is not ';normal';.
I don't like the fact that they teach children sex education way too early, that's a parents job, not the schools. The poor children look at each other in a different way after that and then perversion sets in. Classrooms/hallways have become catwalks for fashion and harassment instead of learning and the clicks are ruthless. The kids get lost in a fantasy world of ';holier than thou'; attitudes and they all think the world owes them everything without earning it.
Real life is hard work, not hand outs...real love, not promiscuity and guilt...cooking, cleaning, laundry, paying bills and managing money, not ipods, texting, IM's, video games, fast food, sitting around watching TV and complaining your mommy didn't wash your favorite jeans in time and didn't give you money to go to the mall.
I'm disgusted with this generation of youth and I don't want my only daughter to be caught up in the middle of it all starting at the innocent age of 5. I want to teach and warn her of the dangers as well as the opportunities out there on our terms, not ';theirs';. She is like a perfect rose, I don't want to uproot her and knowingly plant her in a field of weeds and thorns that will choke out her beauty and cloud her perspectives.
Any advice, experiences, words of wisdom would be appreciated as I will be showing this to him as part of my endeavor. Thanks.
Sorry for the length of this, but this is a long term labor of love ahead.How do I convince my husband that home schooling our only daughter will give her advantages...?
At level one she *can't* thumbs down anyone.
I'm busy at the moment and can't fully answer your question right now... but I have to say there is at least one person out there that understands and agrees with everything you have said. I'll either come back here or email you a reply later. :) I've been in your shoes.
Edit to Add: Ok... sorry I couldn't answer earlier but I didn't think much of the answer that was deleted accusing you of thumbs downing everyone.
My hubby was always nominally 'for' homeschooling, but thought he needed me to work. I worked in a public high school and nothing I told him could convince him it was really 'that bad'. I firmly believe that he is to be the leader of our home. So my son had to go to public school for kindy. Broke my heart... but I just kept praying and sent him off.
Now during that year my hubby was unemployed for awhile. So he decided to sub in another public high school. His first day... he came home saying he didn't handle it just right and things would go better next time.
His second day... he came home in a wild state. He kept explaining to *me* all the things I had tried to explain to *him*. (Many of which sound a lot like your post.) When I tried to tell him I already knew he kept cutting me off and telling me I didn't understand!
LOL... it was just something he had to see. What passes for 'normal' today is *nothing* like I want my kids to be! I want my kids to be *real* normal... *good* normal. Like you said... *not* sheltered from the bad... but *exposed* to the good for enough time to counter the bad around them.
My kids see other kids nearly everyday... and they see evil everyday as well! But they also have a 'grounding' there to fall back on until they are strong enough to fight evil on their own. I read a fabulous article not too long back that said it perfectly: http://www.boundless.org/2005/articles/a鈥?/a>
(Best quote from the article: ';I like to say that a puppy thrown to the wolves will either be eaten or learn to be a wolf. A fully grown dog stands a fighting chance.';)
Hopefully that will *help* with your hubby's understanding of your position... because I know to you this is all preaching to the choir. If not though... all I can tell you is pray, pray, pray and follow his God given authority. God will work wonders for your family and your home. *Even* if hubby never comes around, God will still work wonders. So let hubby lead and let God be God.
Feel free to email me to chat... just leave me a way to get back to you privately if you do since you don't accept email through YA. :) Hope this has helped!
(PS... I don't normally show my full conservative side on YA... but you seemed to be one that would appreciate the viewpoint. If I'm wrong and I've offended you by saying let hubby lead... please forgive me. :))How do I convince my husband that home schooling our only daughter will give her advantages...?
I completely agree with your message and want to say that you express your thoughts very well! It is difficult sometimes when husbands and wives don't see eye to eye on something that is very important to one of them. My advice would be to continue to pray about it daily. Ask God for guidance and ask Him to help your husband see that what you want for your daughter is a good thing. Have you contacted any Christian homeschool support groups or co-ops in your area? Definitely do that because they will be able to give you sound advice and also, you will be able to meet lots of other families and find out about all the fun activities and field trips they participate in. Contrary to popular belief, MOST homeschooled children are much more socially rounded and experienced because they can do things each day that other children can't. There are several books on the topic as well and there is a good one I read recently called Homeschooling- Take a Deep Breath, You Can Do This! and also another one called The Social Benefits of Homeschooling. There are dozens more available at the library or at Amazon.com I hope this helps. P.S. While many will disagree with your intentions to keep your beautiful little flower safe from the ';bad weather and weeds';, I completely agree with you. Who else is going to help our children grow properly and strong? I pray all goes well for you.
I've been home schooled for about 5 years now and still have plenty of friends! Most are actually home schooled, where I live there's a lot of homeschooling and there's so many home school functions. But I do have many public school friends too! If your husband's worried about her socializing try to find more homeschooling in your area, also put her in sports like dance,soccer and maybe some classes like art classes! also when she's older maybe you can get her to try out for plays at your local theatre, that will make her very outgoing and she'll make lots of friends! Seriously, I don't think home schooling cuts out friends, just a bunch of bad influences! And maybe if she doesn't like it you can put her in private school or something. But you really should give it a shot,I like being homeschooled. I even find I don't have much time to spare in a day, so it's not like I'm a bored, unsocial, outcast!
Kids spend 35 hours a week in school. They are only allowed to socialize for 15 minutes during the morning and afternoon recess, and 30 minutes at lunch. That's a big waste of 30 hours a week, to get 5 hours of broken up socialization.
School is an artificial social environment. Your child will get better socialization by joining scouts, playing sports, visiting neighbors, etc.
Ask your husband who his best friend is. Did he meet this person in first grade? Did he meet them in school at all?
Take your husband to a home school support group. Your letter makes it sound like you belong to a church. If your church doesn't have one, maybe a nearby one does. There are also neighborhood support groups.
In the end, you have to decide what is more important. Is it more important to home school your child, and let your husband adapt? Or is it more important to do what your husband wants, and let your child adapt?
We took our son (now 18) out of public school when he was in the 8th grade. He would get up every morning and cry or be sick (for real). After about 2 yrs. of homeschooling I found out that he was being picked on. He is very quiet and a good kid. When he was in kindergarten, they wanted (and did) to hold him back from 1st grade and put him in transitional 1st grade because he wasn't sociable, academically, he was above average. So, a few years later when he got in trouble for talking in class (being sociable) and I got a note sent to me, that's what I told them, ';you wanted him to be sociable, now he is';. His grades started failing, not because he couldn't, because he was unhappy. It took about 3 yrs. for me to decide on homeschooling, plus he kept begging me ';Mom, please let me be homeschooled';. He is now a computer whiz, I showed him one time how to place his fingers on the keyboard to type and how to move his fingers, now a whiz, can work on his dirtbike and racing bike, and the big plus, has never participated in smoking or alcohol. How do I know? Believe me, I know. Sorry this is so long, I could go on and on, I pray your husband comes around to your decision. It was one of the best things I ever did for my son.
I am a freshman in a Cyber school, and I have also attended public k-8. I agree that homeschooling can and will benefit a student's education. However, kids still need to socialize. They need to be able to hang out with friends there own age. I agree with you about the fact the public schools are not the best environment to be learning in. There are lots of things that you want you child to avoid while in public school, like drugs, alcohol, sex and other things. But you can't completely cut you daughter off from the outside world, make sure she still gets to be around other kids, and just be a kid. But all in all, homeschooling is a great option!
Well, I'm a little offended that you're ';disgusted'; with my generation. I think you're severely underestimating us. Not all kids are totally irresponsible and mindlessly glued to their phones like you stated. I think my parents have raised my brother and I very well, and we attend public school... and God hasn't been thrown totally out of the picture either. I don't think it's the school's right to enforce religion on their students. (As you said, it's a place for learning). But not for learning about personal beliefs on spirituality. However, there will ALWAYS be prayer in public schools, no matter what regulations and laws may pass.
Also, there's no reason that your daughter would HAVE to attend sex education classes. Usually there are permission slips involved, or you can talk to the teacher privately to discuss your worries.
I think public school, surviving the petty and stupid things that you've mentioned like cliques and fashion and fastfood, have made me a stronger, wiser, and more open-minded individual. And I'm thankful that I've done it. I can't imagine who I'd have become without it. It was truly a characterizing experience.
There's my tidbit. Good luck in whatever you and your husband decide to do. :)
I believe with most of what you have said, bar one thing. Sex education must be taught from day one.
I don't mean everything. But children should grow up with an understanding of it. If they know what its all about, its not usually as much of a curiosity to them.
See, my parents WANTED to do the right thing, but they never spoke to me about sex. Sure, when I hit puberty, I got a talk. They always had pamphlets and books lying around. But they never explained it to me. It was made to be a taboo subject. Its no wonder I was pregnant at 14.
When I have kids (I lost the baby) I intend to teach them right away.
A good method is an age-appropriate one. Sex-ed includes talking about gender (boys and girls- what makes them different) how animals have babies, how people have babies.
You see, its the truth. The truth will not hurt them. Its how they are taught to handle the truth, and how they themselves develop as characters, that determins what they do with the truth. Most kids just tuck the information away. All kids get curious, whether you teach them about sex or not.
If a question is asked, they are ready for an answer. Never tell a child a lie.
You have good intentions but you want to bring your daughter up in a bubble. It sort of reminds me of all those children who were removed from that compound a year ago. Your child is going to be part of this real world where good AND bad things happen. You cannot shelter her from everything. Your role is to teach her about life, explain love, sex, human behavior etc. so that she can make good choices. She needs children to play with. Patience, tolerance, and many other qualities are taught by things that happen in schools. If you want to die someday and leave behind a child/adult who will not know what to do in the face of life's realities, just keep right on with your attitudes.l You cannot make life perfect. don't you know that?
He keeps coming back will a one-liner argument
';I think she needs to go to school and be a normal kid';. He thinks she won't have friends, a myth, but it's better to have a few good friends than dozens of superficial pretenders.
I've done hours of research and pray for guidance continuously and have my own case against public schooling, but he isn't seeing the bigger, long term picture.
I do not like the lack of morals in the public school systems. They've kicked God out of everything and the results are evident.
I do not like the militant ways of the classrooms, ';sit up and shut up'; or you'll be punished (but the children most out of control and undisciplined are the ones in the least amount of trouble, as if the authorities are afraid of them). I don't think it takes 8 hours a day away from your family for the next 12 crucial years to have an education, I feel most children in the public school systems come from severely dysfunctional/broken families and that to me is not ';normal';.
I don't like the fact that they teach children sex education way too early, that's a parents job, not the schools. The poor children look at each other in a different way after that and then perversion sets in. Classrooms/hallways have become catwalks for fashion and harassment instead of learning and the clicks are ruthless. The kids get lost in a fantasy world of ';holier than thou'; attitudes and they all think the world owes them everything without earning it.
Real life is hard work, not hand outs...real love, not promiscuity and guilt...cooking, cleaning, laundry, paying bills and managing money, not ipods, texting, IM's, video games, fast food, sitting around watching TV and complaining your mommy didn't wash your favorite jeans in time and didn't give you money to go to the mall.
I'm disgusted with this generation of youth and I don't want my only daughter to be caught up in the middle of it all starting at the innocent age of 5. I want to teach and warn her of the dangers as well as the opportunities out there on our terms, not ';theirs';. She is like a perfect rose, I don't want to uproot her and knowingly plant her in a field of weeds and thorns that will choke out her beauty and cloud her perspectives.
Any advice, experiences, words of wisdom would be appreciated as I will be showing this to him as part of my endeavor. Thanks.
Sorry for the length of this, but this is a long term labor of love ahead.How do I convince my husband that home schooling our only daughter will give her advantages...?
At level one she *can't* thumbs down anyone.
I'm busy at the moment and can't fully answer your question right now... but I have to say there is at least one person out there that understands and agrees with everything you have said. I'll either come back here or email you a reply later. :) I've been in your shoes.
Edit to Add: Ok... sorry I couldn't answer earlier but I didn't think much of the answer that was deleted accusing you of thumbs downing everyone.
My hubby was always nominally 'for' homeschooling, but thought he needed me to work. I worked in a public high school and nothing I told him could convince him it was really 'that bad'. I firmly believe that he is to be the leader of our home. So my son had to go to public school for kindy. Broke my heart... but I just kept praying and sent him off.
Now during that year my hubby was unemployed for awhile. So he decided to sub in another public high school. His first day... he came home saying he didn't handle it just right and things would go better next time.
His second day... he came home in a wild state. He kept explaining to *me* all the things I had tried to explain to *him*. (Many of which sound a lot like your post.) When I tried to tell him I already knew he kept cutting me off and telling me I didn't understand!
LOL... it was just something he had to see. What passes for 'normal' today is *nothing* like I want my kids to be! I want my kids to be *real* normal... *good* normal. Like you said... *not* sheltered from the bad... but *exposed* to the good for enough time to counter the bad around them.
My kids see other kids nearly everyday... and they see evil everyday as well! But they also have a 'grounding' there to fall back on until they are strong enough to fight evil on their own. I read a fabulous article not too long back that said it perfectly: http://www.boundless.org/2005/articles/a鈥?/a>
(Best quote from the article: ';I like to say that a puppy thrown to the wolves will either be eaten or learn to be a wolf. A fully grown dog stands a fighting chance.';)
Hopefully that will *help* with your hubby's understanding of your position... because I know to you this is all preaching to the choir. If not though... all I can tell you is pray, pray, pray and follow his God given authority. God will work wonders for your family and your home. *Even* if hubby never comes around, God will still work wonders. So let hubby lead and let God be God.
Feel free to email me to chat... just leave me a way to get back to you privately if you do since you don't accept email through YA. :) Hope this has helped!
(PS... I don't normally show my full conservative side on YA... but you seemed to be one that would appreciate the viewpoint. If I'm wrong and I've offended you by saying let hubby lead... please forgive me. :))How do I convince my husband that home schooling our only daughter will give her advantages...?
I completely agree with your message and want to say that you express your thoughts very well! It is difficult sometimes when husbands and wives don't see eye to eye on something that is very important to one of them. My advice would be to continue to pray about it daily. Ask God for guidance and ask Him to help your husband see that what you want for your daughter is a good thing. Have you contacted any Christian homeschool support groups or co-ops in your area? Definitely do that because they will be able to give you sound advice and also, you will be able to meet lots of other families and find out about all the fun activities and field trips they participate in. Contrary to popular belief, MOST homeschooled children are much more socially rounded and experienced because they can do things each day that other children can't. There are several books on the topic as well and there is a good one I read recently called Homeschooling- Take a Deep Breath, You Can Do This! and also another one called The Social Benefits of Homeschooling. There are dozens more available at the library or at Amazon.com I hope this helps. P.S. While many will disagree with your intentions to keep your beautiful little flower safe from the ';bad weather and weeds';, I completely agree with you. Who else is going to help our children grow properly and strong? I pray all goes well for you.
I've been home schooled for about 5 years now and still have plenty of friends! Most are actually home schooled, where I live there's a lot of homeschooling and there's so many home school functions. But I do have many public school friends too! If your husband's worried about her socializing try to find more homeschooling in your area, also put her in sports like dance,soccer and maybe some classes like art classes! also when she's older maybe you can get her to try out for plays at your local theatre, that will make her very outgoing and she'll make lots of friends! Seriously, I don't think home schooling cuts out friends, just a bunch of bad influences! And maybe if she doesn't like it you can put her in private school or something. But you really should give it a shot,I like being homeschooled. I even find I don't have much time to spare in a day, so it's not like I'm a bored, unsocial, outcast!
Kids spend 35 hours a week in school. They are only allowed to socialize for 15 minutes during the morning and afternoon recess, and 30 minutes at lunch. That's a big waste of 30 hours a week, to get 5 hours of broken up socialization.
School is an artificial social environment. Your child will get better socialization by joining scouts, playing sports, visiting neighbors, etc.
Ask your husband who his best friend is. Did he meet this person in first grade? Did he meet them in school at all?
Take your husband to a home school support group. Your letter makes it sound like you belong to a church. If your church doesn't have one, maybe a nearby one does. There are also neighborhood support groups.
In the end, you have to decide what is more important. Is it more important to home school your child, and let your husband adapt? Or is it more important to do what your husband wants, and let your child adapt?
We took our son (now 18) out of public school when he was in the 8th grade. He would get up every morning and cry or be sick (for real). After about 2 yrs. of homeschooling I found out that he was being picked on. He is very quiet and a good kid. When he was in kindergarten, they wanted (and did) to hold him back from 1st grade and put him in transitional 1st grade because he wasn't sociable, academically, he was above average. So, a few years later when he got in trouble for talking in class (being sociable) and I got a note sent to me, that's what I told them, ';you wanted him to be sociable, now he is';. His grades started failing, not because he couldn't, because he was unhappy. It took about 3 yrs. for me to decide on homeschooling, plus he kept begging me ';Mom, please let me be homeschooled';. He is now a computer whiz, I showed him one time how to place his fingers on the keyboard to type and how to move his fingers, now a whiz, can work on his dirtbike and racing bike, and the big plus, has never participated in smoking or alcohol. How do I know? Believe me, I know. Sorry this is so long, I could go on and on, I pray your husband comes around to your decision. It was one of the best things I ever did for my son.
I am a freshman in a Cyber school, and I have also attended public k-8. I agree that homeschooling can and will benefit a student's education. However, kids still need to socialize. They need to be able to hang out with friends there own age. I agree with you about the fact the public schools are not the best environment to be learning in. There are lots of things that you want you child to avoid while in public school, like drugs, alcohol, sex and other things. But you can't completely cut you daughter off from the outside world, make sure she still gets to be around other kids, and just be a kid. But all in all, homeschooling is a great option!
Well, I'm a little offended that you're ';disgusted'; with my generation. I think you're severely underestimating us. Not all kids are totally irresponsible and mindlessly glued to their phones like you stated. I think my parents have raised my brother and I very well, and we attend public school... and God hasn't been thrown totally out of the picture either. I don't think it's the school's right to enforce religion on their students. (As you said, it's a place for learning). But not for learning about personal beliefs on spirituality. However, there will ALWAYS be prayer in public schools, no matter what regulations and laws may pass.
Also, there's no reason that your daughter would HAVE to attend sex education classes. Usually there are permission slips involved, or you can talk to the teacher privately to discuss your worries.
I think public school, surviving the petty and stupid things that you've mentioned like cliques and fashion and fastfood, have made me a stronger, wiser, and more open-minded individual. And I'm thankful that I've done it. I can't imagine who I'd have become without it. It was truly a characterizing experience.
There's my tidbit. Good luck in whatever you and your husband decide to do. :)
I believe with most of what you have said, bar one thing. Sex education must be taught from day one.
I don't mean everything. But children should grow up with an understanding of it. If they know what its all about, its not usually as much of a curiosity to them.
See, my parents WANTED to do the right thing, but they never spoke to me about sex. Sure, when I hit puberty, I got a talk. They always had pamphlets and books lying around. But they never explained it to me. It was made to be a taboo subject. Its no wonder I was pregnant at 14.
When I have kids (I lost the baby) I intend to teach them right away.
A good method is an age-appropriate one. Sex-ed includes talking about gender (boys and girls- what makes them different) how animals have babies, how people have babies.
You see, its the truth. The truth will not hurt them. Its how they are taught to handle the truth, and how they themselves develop as characters, that determins what they do with the truth. Most kids just tuck the information away. All kids get curious, whether you teach them about sex or not.
If a question is asked, they are ready for an answer. Never tell a child a lie.
You have good intentions but you want to bring your daughter up in a bubble. It sort of reminds me of all those children who were removed from that compound a year ago. Your child is going to be part of this real world where good AND bad things happen. You cannot shelter her from everything. Your role is to teach her about life, explain love, sex, human behavior etc. so that she can make good choices. She needs children to play with. Patience, tolerance, and many other qualities are taught by things that happen in schools. If you want to die someday and leave behind a child/adult who will not know what to do in the face of life's realities, just keep right on with your attitudes.l You cannot make life perfect. don't you know that?
Help! I literally was gonna to kill someone and still want to! (long)?
I live on a house with 8 acres of land for free in exchange for watching the house and the land. I have been living here for a bit more than a year.
However since the house is quite old and the land haven’t been well kept, my landlord decided to get busy and fix the place up.
Since he lives in Hawaii and the house is in California, he decides to hire his brother to come over to take care of the place. He made it very clear to his brother and me that his brother is suppose to take care of land only! His brother is supposed to cut all weeds down, get rid of grape ivy, cut down some dead trees, give the bushes overdo, and other yard related stuff.
Since my landlord has been trying to get things done around here, I told him I’d volunteer to fix few things up in the house. So he gave me key to the garage (where he kept all his tools) and some money for materials. I was suppose to replace the bathtub, rip out the floor and put in tiles floor, replace all windows, etc… So I took 10 days off work.
His brother was supposed to be here only for a week.
After his brother was here for two days, he was working like a horse and not doing anything stupid. I decided I felt comfortable enough to go out of the city for a three days visit to a good friend. However the trip was cut short because my landlord have to fly out to remote place in China for his job and wouldn’t have any way to stay in touch with his brother. So I have to come back home after two days.
On Friday, when I came back, I was really shocked and very upset to find out that he cut tons of good trees down, tear down all climbing cardinal on the front gate that I planted last summer, drained and full the pond that I’ve been taking care of with dirt because he think it isn’t working due to algae, and many other things. I was not happy about this at all, but I could live with it and understand how he could misunderstand his job.
I also went into the house only to find all spices, cooking wine, baking interidigrate, cheeses that aren’t cheddar, etc… have been thrown away and replaced with stuff like burger helper, cheese and mac in box, ramen, canned food, etc… When I first moved in here, I have almost nothing and spend tons of money on all of those stuff so I can budget my money better and still eat quite well. That’s when I lose it, I confronted him about it, his excuse was all those foods are old or stuff he threw away is something that will never be used. We got in a huge argue about this, he always end up go back to “I am suppose to clean the place up” excuse. We eventually reached upon agreement that he’d not do anything until he asked me first.
On Saturday I helped him cut down all grape vines. The way he does job is just absolutely no brainer! He doesn’t even bother to try figure out how to do job right, he just pick up chain saw and start to hack away at everything he see until there’s nothing left. He also cut end up cut tons of tree branches down so now there’s ugly space among trees plus there’s a lot of vine stump sticking out of the ground which make it extremely uncomfortable to walk on the ground. I tried to explain him how to do the job properly and his reply was “tree will grow back” and “you’ll just have to keep cut the vines, it is too much work to dig them up and pull them out by roots”
When I was gone for a couple hours to do some errands, he rearranged the kitchen. So when I got back, I have lot of trouble to find anything in the kitchen. Again I let this one slipped away since it wasn’t a big thing. But it was still very annoying.
Today, I was supposed to replace the bathtub. So I went into a shed where I keep all of tools and house furniture I have been buying and stocking up on for when I move out. I nearly fainted to find out that the shed has been cleaned empty. I remembered that my landlord’s brother use few tools that was supposed to be in garage. So I went into the garage, I was really upset to find that my landlord’s brother basically move all of my tools into the garage and mix it with my landlord’s tools. I also found out many tools and almost all furnitures were missing as well.
That is when I just got so upset to the point where I went in the house and got my gun out and tuck it in my pants with intention of shooting him or chasing him off the property. I went to him and threw the hardest punch I ever thrown in my life. I was about to pull the gun out when he was down, but I decided to not. I yelled and yelled at him for good half hour. I was so mad and upset that I was shaking so hard and my eyes filled up with tears. I have never been this upset and mad at anyone before. My landlord’s brother again keep saying that he have to do his job and that he got rid of lot of tools because they were junks laying around. He says he gave furniture away because he thought it was old furniture that my landlord doesn’t want any more (my landlord and my taste are similar). I was gonna to literally pull the gun and shot him onceHelp! I literally was gonna to kill someone and still want to! (long)?
OMG... That is so horrible and I can very well see why you are so upset but PLEASE do not do anything stupid. That man is not worth going to jail for the rest of your life and honestly no matter how bad or cruel a person is, no one deserves to get shot. I mean what if he was too die? You would have to live with that for the rest of your life. Is there anyone close that you can talk too about this? I wish I knew of a way to make this all better for you because I do feel so bad for you because what that jerk did was so wrong but just again please be the bigger person here and dont ruin your life over this guy. I would definatley have words with your landlord when he gets back even though that probley really wont change anything cause that is his brother and Im sure he will side with him of course since thats his family. If it was me, I would just try to stick it out and stay away from the man as much as possible until he is gone for good so you can go back to living your life as you normally do or I would just pack my things and leave and never look back and find somewhere else to go where I know i would not have to put up with what your dealing with. I know its easier said than done but shooting him is not and should not be an option so please Im begging you, dont do that. Too many of my friends have died from gun violence. I just wish guns never even existed!! I wish you luck though and I really hope you do the right thing. He is NOT worth it!!Help! I literally was gonna to kill someone and still want to! (long)?
thats sucks.
Are you just ranting because I read it all twice and I don't see a question...
(You don't have to read anything after this.)
I also feel like killing someone but for a completely different reason.
It's a girl from my school who says I'm her best friend and thinks she's my best friend. I told her who the person I really liked was and she thought it would be funny so she went and told him and after that he stopped talking to me and I felt like dying because he literally was the only reason I even cared about waking up in the morning to go to school. After that I really hated her because I asked her why she did it and she gave a mean grin and said ';It wasn't my fault. I didn't do it.';
I wanted to grab her by her fat little neck and beat her face until it was black and blue but I decided to just forget about it.
A few months later she met some guy over the internet when she was over at my house using MY computer and when she went home and her mom found out and got mad at her so my friend said I was the one who met him and was talking to him so her mom told my mom and I got in trouble.
Then another few months later she got a boyfriend and he sent her texts saying he loved her and wanted her to go to school early to meet him and her mom found out and again my ';friend'; blamed me and I was grounded for a month.
So she was literally ruining my life and making me miserable. I really don't know why I don't just tell her I hate her and want to kill her.
However since the house is quite old and the land haven’t been well kept, my landlord decided to get busy and fix the place up.
Since he lives in Hawaii and the house is in California, he decides to hire his brother to come over to take care of the place. He made it very clear to his brother and me that his brother is suppose to take care of land only! His brother is supposed to cut all weeds down, get rid of grape ivy, cut down some dead trees, give the bushes overdo, and other yard related stuff.
Since my landlord has been trying to get things done around here, I told him I’d volunteer to fix few things up in the house. So he gave me key to the garage (where he kept all his tools) and some money for materials. I was suppose to replace the bathtub, rip out the floor and put in tiles floor, replace all windows, etc… So I took 10 days off work.
His brother was supposed to be here only for a week.
After his brother was here for two days, he was working like a horse and not doing anything stupid. I decided I felt comfortable enough to go out of the city for a three days visit to a good friend. However the trip was cut short because my landlord have to fly out to remote place in China for his job and wouldn’t have any way to stay in touch with his brother. So I have to come back home after two days.
On Friday, when I came back, I was really shocked and very upset to find out that he cut tons of good trees down, tear down all climbing cardinal on the front gate that I planted last summer, drained and full the pond that I’ve been taking care of with dirt because he think it isn’t working due to algae, and many other things. I was not happy about this at all, but I could live with it and understand how he could misunderstand his job.
I also went into the house only to find all spices, cooking wine, baking interidigrate, cheeses that aren’t cheddar, etc… have been thrown away and replaced with stuff like burger helper, cheese and mac in box, ramen, canned food, etc… When I first moved in here, I have almost nothing and spend tons of money on all of those stuff so I can budget my money better and still eat quite well. That’s when I lose it, I confronted him about it, his excuse was all those foods are old or stuff he threw away is something that will never be used. We got in a huge argue about this, he always end up go back to “I am suppose to clean the place up” excuse. We eventually reached upon agreement that he’d not do anything until he asked me first.
On Saturday I helped him cut down all grape vines. The way he does job is just absolutely no brainer! He doesn’t even bother to try figure out how to do job right, he just pick up chain saw and start to hack away at everything he see until there’s nothing left. He also cut end up cut tons of tree branches down so now there’s ugly space among trees plus there’s a lot of vine stump sticking out of the ground which make it extremely uncomfortable to walk on the ground. I tried to explain him how to do the job properly and his reply was “tree will grow back” and “you’ll just have to keep cut the vines, it is too much work to dig them up and pull them out by roots”
When I was gone for a couple hours to do some errands, he rearranged the kitchen. So when I got back, I have lot of trouble to find anything in the kitchen. Again I let this one slipped away since it wasn’t a big thing. But it was still very annoying.
Today, I was supposed to replace the bathtub. So I went into a shed where I keep all of tools and house furniture I have been buying and stocking up on for when I move out. I nearly fainted to find out that the shed has been cleaned empty. I remembered that my landlord’s brother use few tools that was supposed to be in garage. So I went into the garage, I was really upset to find that my landlord’s brother basically move all of my tools into the garage and mix it with my landlord’s tools. I also found out many tools and almost all furnitures were missing as well.
That is when I just got so upset to the point where I went in the house and got my gun out and tuck it in my pants with intention of shooting him or chasing him off the property. I went to him and threw the hardest punch I ever thrown in my life. I was about to pull the gun out when he was down, but I decided to not. I yelled and yelled at him for good half hour. I was so mad and upset that I was shaking so hard and my eyes filled up with tears. I have never been this upset and mad at anyone before. My landlord’s brother again keep saying that he have to do his job and that he got rid of lot of tools because they were junks laying around. He says he gave furniture away because he thought it was old furniture that my landlord doesn’t want any more (my landlord and my taste are similar). I was gonna to literally pull the gun and shot him onceHelp! I literally was gonna to kill someone and still want to! (long)?
OMG... That is so horrible and I can very well see why you are so upset but PLEASE do not do anything stupid. That man is not worth going to jail for the rest of your life and honestly no matter how bad or cruel a person is, no one deserves to get shot. I mean what if he was too die? You would have to live with that for the rest of your life. Is there anyone close that you can talk too about this? I wish I knew of a way to make this all better for you because I do feel so bad for you because what that jerk did was so wrong but just again please be the bigger person here and dont ruin your life over this guy. I would definatley have words with your landlord when he gets back even though that probley really wont change anything cause that is his brother and Im sure he will side with him of course since thats his family. If it was me, I would just try to stick it out and stay away from the man as much as possible until he is gone for good so you can go back to living your life as you normally do or I would just pack my things and leave and never look back and find somewhere else to go where I know i would not have to put up with what your dealing with. I know its easier said than done but shooting him is not and should not be an option so please Im begging you, dont do that. Too many of my friends have died from gun violence. I just wish guns never even existed!! I wish you luck though and I really hope you do the right thing. He is NOT worth it!!Help! I literally was gonna to kill someone and still want to! (long)?
thats sucks.
Are you just ranting because I read it all twice and I don't see a question...
(You don't have to read anything after this.)
I also feel like killing someone but for a completely different reason.
It's a girl from my school who says I'm her best friend and thinks she's my best friend. I told her who the person I really liked was and she thought it would be funny so she went and told him and after that he stopped talking to me and I felt like dying because he literally was the only reason I even cared about waking up in the morning to go to school. After that I really hated her because I asked her why she did it and she gave a mean grin and said ';It wasn't my fault. I didn't do it.';
I wanted to grab her by her fat little neck and beat her face until it was black and blue but I decided to just forget about it.
A few months later she met some guy over the internet when she was over at my house using MY computer and when she went home and her mom found out and got mad at her so my friend said I was the one who met him and was talking to him so her mom told my mom and I got in trouble.
Then another few months later she got a boyfriend and he sent her texts saying he loved her and wanted her to go to school early to meet him and her mom found out and again my ';friend'; blamed me and I was grounded for a month.
So she was literally ruining my life and making me miserable. I really don't know why I don't just tell her I hate her and want to kill her.
Awesome ';household hints'; i found...?
check it out:
DID YOU KNOW?
Peel a banana from the bottom and you won't have to
pick the little 'stringy things' off of it. That's how the primates do it.
Take your bananas apart when you get home from the store.
If you leave them connected at the stem, they ripen faster.
Store your opened chunks of cheese in aluminum foil.
It will stay fresh much longer and not mold!
Peppers with 3 bumps on the bottom are sweeter and better for eating.
Peppers with 4 bumps on the bottom are firmer and better for cooking.
Add a teaspoon of water when frying ground beef.
It will help pull the grease away from the meat while cooking.
To really make scrambled eggs or omelets rich add a couple of
spoonfuls of sour cream, cream cheese, or heavy cream in and then beat them up.
For a cool brownie treat, make brownies as directed. Melt Andes mints
in double broiler and pour over warm brownies. Let set for a wonderful minty frosting.
Add garlic immediately to a recipe if you want a light taste
of garlic and at the end of the recipe if your want a stronger taste of garlic.
Leftover snickers bars from Halloween make a delicious dessert. Simply
chop them up with the food chopper. Peel, core and slice a few apples. Place them
in a baking dish and sprinkle the chopped candy bars over the apples. Bake at 350
for 15 minutes!!! Serve alone or with vanilla ice cream. Yummm!
Reheat Pizza
Heat up leftover pizza in a nonstick skillet on top of the stove, set heat to med-low
and heat till warm. This keeps the crust crispy. No soggy micro pizza. I saw this on
the cooking channel and it really works.
Easy Deviled Eggs
Put cooked egg yolks in a zip lock bag. Seal, mash till they are all broken up. Add remainder of ingredients, reseal, keep mashing it up mixing thoroughly, cut the tip of the baggy, squeeze mixture into egg. Just throw bag away when done easy clean up.
Expanding Frosting
When you buy a container of cake frosting from the store, whip it with your mixer
for a few minutes. You can double it in size. You get to frost more cake/cupcakes
with the same amount. You also eat less sugar and calories per serving.
Reheating refrigerated bread
To warm biscuits, pancakes, or muffins that were refrigerated, place them in
a microwave with a cup of water. The increased moisture will keep the food
moist and help it reheat faster.
Newspaper weeds away
Start putting in your plants, work the nutrients in your soil. Wet newspapers,
put layers around the plants overlapping as you go cover with mulch and for-
get about weeds. Weeds will get through some gardening plastic they will not
get through wet newspapers.
Broken Glass
Use a wet cotton ball or Q-tip to pick up the small shards of glass you can't see easily.
No More Mosquitoes
Place a dryer sheet in your pocket.
It will keep the mosquitoes away.
Squirrel Away!
To keep squirrels from eating your plants, sprinkle your plants with cayenne pepper.
The cayenne pepper doesn't hurt the plant and the squirrels won't come near it.
Flexible vacuum
To get something out of a heat register or under the fridge add an empty paper towel
roll or empty gift wrap roll to your vacuum. It can be bent or flattened to get in nar-
row openings.
Reducing Static Cling
Pin a small safety pin to the seam of your slip and you will not have a clingy skirt
or dress. Same thing works with slacks that cling when wearing panty hose.
Place pin in seam of slacks and ... ta da! ... static is gone.
Measuring Cups
Before you pour sticky substances into a measuring cup, fill with hot water.
Dump out the hot water, but don't dry cup. Next, add your ingredient, such
as peanut butter, and watch how easily it comes right out.
!
Foggy Windshield?
Hate foggy windshields? Buy a chalkboard eraser and keep it in the glove box of
your car . When the window s fog, rub with the eraser! Works better than a cloth!
Reopening envelope
If you seal an envelope and then realize you forgot to include something inside,
just place your sealed envelope in the freezer for an hour or two. Viola! It unseals
easily.
Conditioner
Use your hair conditioner to shave your legs. It's cheaper than shaving cream and
leaves your legs really smooth. It's also a great way to use up the conditioner you
bought but didn't like when you tried it in your hair.
Goodbye Fruit Flies
To get rid of pesky fruit flies, take a small glass, fill it 1/2' with Apple Cider Vinegar
and 2 drops of dish washing liquid; mix well. You will find those flies drawn to the
cup and gone forever!
Get Rid of Ants
Put small piles of cornmeal where you see ants They eat it, take it 'home,' can't
digest it so it kills them. It may take a week or so, especially if it rains, but it works
and you don't have the worry about pets or small children being harmed!
INFO ABOUT CLOTHES DRYERS
The heating unit went out on my dryer! The gentleman that fixeAwesome ';household hints'; i found...?
Awesome! THanks for sharing. I'm going to rmember the one about separating the bananas and the Snickers/apple treat. Yummo!
Citrus fruits ( lemon, line,oranges ) that feel a little more thin skinned are juicier.
The ones with thick skin are less juicy.
You can nuke a lemon for 10 seconds to make it give more juice. Somehow the heat makes the juices flow and you will get more juice from it.Awesome ';household hints'; i found...?
Cool tips, but who has leftover snickers after Halloween? Not me!
Great tips--thanks!!! One I learned from my grandmother that owned a store--onions that are flatter in shape are sweeter.
Great tips..Thanks.=)
DID YOU KNOW?
Peel a banana from the bottom and you won't have to
pick the little 'stringy things' off of it. That's how the primates do it.
Take your bananas apart when you get home from the store.
If you leave them connected at the stem, they ripen faster.
Store your opened chunks of cheese in aluminum foil.
It will stay fresh much longer and not mold!
Peppers with 3 bumps on the bottom are sweeter and better for eating.
Peppers with 4 bumps on the bottom are firmer and better for cooking.
Add a teaspoon of water when frying ground beef.
It will help pull the grease away from the meat while cooking.
To really make scrambled eggs or omelets rich add a couple of
spoonfuls of sour cream, cream cheese, or heavy cream in and then beat them up.
For a cool brownie treat, make brownies as directed. Melt Andes mints
in double broiler and pour over warm brownies. Let set for a wonderful minty frosting.
Add garlic immediately to a recipe if you want a light taste
of garlic and at the end of the recipe if your want a stronger taste of garlic.
Leftover snickers bars from Halloween make a delicious dessert. Simply
chop them up with the food chopper. Peel, core and slice a few apples. Place them
in a baking dish and sprinkle the chopped candy bars over the apples. Bake at 350
for 15 minutes!!! Serve alone or with vanilla ice cream. Yummm!
Reheat Pizza
Heat up leftover pizza in a nonstick skillet on top of the stove, set heat to med-low
and heat till warm. This keeps the crust crispy. No soggy micro pizza. I saw this on
the cooking channel and it really works.
Easy Deviled Eggs
Put cooked egg yolks in a zip lock bag. Seal, mash till they are all broken up. Add remainder of ingredients, reseal, keep mashing it up mixing thoroughly, cut the tip of the baggy, squeeze mixture into egg. Just throw bag away when done easy clean up.
Expanding Frosting
When you buy a container of cake frosting from the store, whip it with your mixer
for a few minutes. You can double it in size. You get to frost more cake/cupcakes
with the same amount. You also eat less sugar and calories per serving.
Reheating refrigerated bread
To warm biscuits, pancakes, or muffins that were refrigerated, place them in
a microwave with a cup of water. The increased moisture will keep the food
moist and help it reheat faster.
Newspaper weeds away
Start putting in your plants, work the nutrients in your soil. Wet newspapers,
put layers around the plants overlapping as you go cover with mulch and for-
get about weeds. Weeds will get through some gardening plastic they will not
get through wet newspapers.
Broken Glass
Use a wet cotton ball or Q-tip to pick up the small shards of glass you can't see easily.
No More Mosquitoes
Place a dryer sheet in your pocket.
It will keep the mosquitoes away.
Squirrel Away!
To keep squirrels from eating your plants, sprinkle your plants with cayenne pepper.
The cayenne pepper doesn't hurt the plant and the squirrels won't come near it.
Flexible vacuum
To get something out of a heat register or under the fridge add an empty paper towel
roll or empty gift wrap roll to your vacuum. It can be bent or flattened to get in nar-
row openings.
Reducing Static Cling
Pin a small safety pin to the seam of your slip and you will not have a clingy skirt
or dress. Same thing works with slacks that cling when wearing panty hose.
Place pin in seam of slacks and ... ta da! ... static is gone.
Measuring Cups
Before you pour sticky substances into a measuring cup, fill with hot water.
Dump out the hot water, but don't dry cup. Next, add your ingredient, such
as peanut butter, and watch how easily it comes right out.
!
Foggy Windshield?
Hate foggy windshields? Buy a chalkboard eraser and keep it in the glove box of
your car . When the window s fog, rub with the eraser! Works better than a cloth!
Reopening envelope
If you seal an envelope and then realize you forgot to include something inside,
just place your sealed envelope in the freezer for an hour or two. Viola! It unseals
easily.
Conditioner
Use your hair conditioner to shave your legs. It's cheaper than shaving cream and
leaves your legs really smooth. It's also a great way to use up the conditioner you
bought but didn't like when you tried it in your hair.
Goodbye Fruit Flies
To get rid of pesky fruit flies, take a small glass, fill it 1/2' with Apple Cider Vinegar
and 2 drops of dish washing liquid; mix well. You will find those flies drawn to the
cup and gone forever!
Get Rid of Ants
Put small piles of cornmeal where you see ants They eat it, take it 'home,' can't
digest it so it kills them. It may take a week or so, especially if it rains, but it works
and you don't have the worry about pets or small children being harmed!
INFO ABOUT CLOTHES DRYERS
The heating unit went out on my dryer! The gentleman that fixeAwesome ';household hints'; i found...?
Awesome! THanks for sharing. I'm going to rmember the one about separating the bananas and the Snickers/apple treat. Yummo!
Citrus fruits ( lemon, line,oranges ) that feel a little more thin skinned are juicier.
The ones with thick skin are less juicy.
You can nuke a lemon for 10 seconds to make it give more juice. Somehow the heat makes the juices flow and you will get more juice from it.Awesome ';household hints'; i found...?
Cool tips, but who has leftover snickers after Halloween? Not me!
Great tips--thanks!!! One I learned from my grandmother that owned a store--onions that are flatter in shape are sweeter.
Great tips..Thanks.=)
Friday, November 12, 2010
Should I read this letter at my grandmothers funeral?
My great Grandmother has 173+ grandchildren and great grandchildren
shoud i read this at her funeral?
Grandma,
A baby cradled in your arms...
Teaching me your gentle charms.
Growing up with you by my side...
Learning from you never to lie.
To understand and not judge too...
Love and kindness I also learned from you.
Through the years you watched me grow...
Teaching me everything I'd need to know.
Listening to every word I've said...
And every word I've wrote you've read.
You've been there for me to the end...
Until the day for you, God did send.
Now you watch me from up above...
Shining down on me your heavenly love.
I will miss you with all my heart...
Thank you for being there from the start.
All the things you used to do
cooking dinner on sunday
making homemade stew
sitting for hours
telling us tales
of how poor jonah
was swallowed by the whale
working in your garden
pulling all the weeds
wiping sweat from your brow
and gently planting seeds
you are a special grandma
one that we adore
you taught us right from wrong
and so very much more
grandma i remember
when you would sing a song
you would encourage
us all to sing along
and you would sit and rock
and read the bible
while we would play
i can still see it
as you held it in your hands
well worn from all your reading
and learning of gods plans
grandma i remember
dont worry about me
you taught us all so well
years ago upon your knee.
Thank you for the gift of love,
now you're sharing it up above.
You had many things to say.
All in a caring way.
You always saw good in everyone,
No matter what they've done.
You were always the one we could all lean on.
Even though it must have felt like a ton.
You were always the strength of the family.
Now we must let you rest calmly.
As we say goodbye,
as tears roll down our eyes.
I know your place in heaven has a good view.
Because you're telling God,
I need to keep an eye on a few.
I know you will always be in our hearts and mind.
So Grandma,
I must go, but I'll never forget you're one of a kindShould I read this letter at my grandmothers funeral?
That's a very sweet poem. You should definitely read it. 173 great/grandchidren is a lot! wow! Your great grandma must've had her hands full!Should I read this letter at my grandmothers funeral?
its really good, I suggest having it printed out for everyone to get a copy of, when you go up to read it, it may be difficult for you to get through the whole thing.
That is an extremely beautiful poem and it will bring tears to almost everyones eyes i can guarantee. May she rest in peace,
and I send my regards
x
100 % yes.
I sang ';Amazing Grace'; at my grandfathers funeral, and it gave me some closure.
yes you should, it might be hard not to tear up but thats a wonderful poem and i'm sure your Grandma would love to hear it. ?
You should ! Its a lovely poem !
That is a lovely poem! You really should. I nearly cried! lol
that was a really nice poem...you should read it.
=]
If you wrote this then you most definitely should (Well you should anyway it's beautiful). It's extremely meaningful and it sounds as though your Grandma was too. This will be perfect for a lovely sending off and I'm sure she will be smiling down on you from heaven to have such a wonderful Grandchild!
I hope that the funeral, goes as well as any funeral can go, but a nice calm blessing toward her departure!
xx
that was very lovely written you shouldbe proud to read that, but sometimes its hard you might have a back up to help you.it took all thre of us girls to read the poem i wrote for my dad. god will be with you. let me know how you did
shoud i read this at her funeral?
Grandma,
A baby cradled in your arms...
Teaching me your gentle charms.
Growing up with you by my side...
Learning from you never to lie.
To understand and not judge too...
Love and kindness I also learned from you.
Through the years you watched me grow...
Teaching me everything I'd need to know.
Listening to every word I've said...
And every word I've wrote you've read.
You've been there for me to the end...
Until the day for you, God did send.
Now you watch me from up above...
Shining down on me your heavenly love.
I will miss you with all my heart...
Thank you for being there from the start.
All the things you used to do
cooking dinner on sunday
making homemade stew
sitting for hours
telling us tales
of how poor jonah
was swallowed by the whale
working in your garden
pulling all the weeds
wiping sweat from your brow
and gently planting seeds
you are a special grandma
one that we adore
you taught us right from wrong
and so very much more
grandma i remember
when you would sing a song
you would encourage
us all to sing along
and you would sit and rock
and read the bible
while we would play
i can still see it
as you held it in your hands
well worn from all your reading
and learning of gods plans
grandma i remember
dont worry about me
you taught us all so well
years ago upon your knee.
Thank you for the gift of love,
now you're sharing it up above.
You had many things to say.
All in a caring way.
You always saw good in everyone,
No matter what they've done.
You were always the one we could all lean on.
Even though it must have felt like a ton.
You were always the strength of the family.
Now we must let you rest calmly.
As we say goodbye,
as tears roll down our eyes.
I know your place in heaven has a good view.
Because you're telling God,
I need to keep an eye on a few.
I know you will always be in our hearts and mind.
So Grandma,
I must go, but I'll never forget you're one of a kindShould I read this letter at my grandmothers funeral?
That's a very sweet poem. You should definitely read it. 173 great/grandchidren is a lot! wow! Your great grandma must've had her hands full!Should I read this letter at my grandmothers funeral?
its really good, I suggest having it printed out for everyone to get a copy of, when you go up to read it, it may be difficult for you to get through the whole thing.
That is an extremely beautiful poem and it will bring tears to almost everyones eyes i can guarantee. May she rest in peace,
and I send my regards
x
100 % yes.
I sang ';Amazing Grace'; at my grandfathers funeral, and it gave me some closure.
yes you should, it might be hard not to tear up but thats a wonderful poem and i'm sure your Grandma would love to hear it. ?
You should ! Its a lovely poem !
That is a lovely poem! You really should. I nearly cried! lol
that was a really nice poem...you should read it.
=]
If you wrote this then you most definitely should (Well you should anyway it's beautiful). It's extremely meaningful and it sounds as though your Grandma was too. This will be perfect for a lovely sending off and I'm sure she will be smiling down on you from heaven to have such a wonderful Grandchild!
I hope that the funeral, goes as well as any funeral can go, but a nice calm blessing toward her departure!
xx
that was very lovely written you shouldbe proud to read that, but sometimes its hard you might have a back up to help you.it took all thre of us girls to read the poem i wrote for my dad. god will be with you. let me know how you did
My Mom doesnt clean the house and it drive me mad?
Ok, so i know it sounds a little wierd but just hear me out.
My house is disgusting, and it DRIVES ME MAD
im a clean freak, and i cant LIVE IN IT. my room is clean, and im always clean, im a clean cut kindof girl, who has very rich, nice taste. but my family on the other hand.... ARE NOT!
my kitchen is so gross, there will be food stains and food on the counters for longer then a week, and food crumbs, chunks, stains on the tile, and food left out. and the stove is filled with leftover food from cooking, and the kitchen has split food, stains in it, etc. etc. i HAVE cleaned the kitchen i dont know how many times.. but i just cant do it by myself. The frontroom has carpet stains because they dont clean up when they spill drinks and stuff, and its very very very CLUTTERED!!!!!
this is so gross... i was cleaning the frontroom once and (my grandparents live with us- the frontroom is basically where they are always) and i was picking up magazenes from by my grandpas chair, and under them were.... GRUBS! FREAKIN GRUBS!!! with food grumbs and nasty sticky stuff all over. so i vaccumed it up, gaging while doing it but yeah.
the front porch is nasty because my brother has his friends over ALL THE TIME (he is 16) and they smoke and have food and pop cans out on the porch and they just leave it there! and also, our dryer has this thing where lint stuff comes out the side of the house? idk its wierd, bu its all over the porch because my mom doesnt clean it up! I DO.
and outside, the lawn is always cut yes. but... ugh... since we dont use the garage, weeds and **** gros in front of it through the cement, and they are taller them=n me! IM 5'5!!!!!
the toilet is neevr cleaned, the shower is never cleaned, and its just horrible. when ever i have people over, they say OMG how do u live here? or like omg my mom would see this and freak out, and etc. (they are close- so they arnt saying it in an offending way)
i seriously CRY.
its very stressful to have such a messy house.
i want to be able to sit at my kitchen table and eat, but i cant. theres **** ALL OVER IT. i want to be able to watch tv in the frontroom, BUT I CANT EVEN STAND IN THERE FOR 5 MINS.
i want to be able to have people over and not just have them in my room BUT I CANT!!! i want to able to come home from school, and go sit in the kitchen or somewhre besides my room, and have a snack or do my homework, BUT.. I CANT!:( im always in my room because i cant stand this hell hold. theres 7 of us. (mom dad 16 year old brother, 18 yr old with special needs, me, nana, papa) oh and my cat.) and dont say oh she cant do everything, u have ti do some stuff...i do, its just i dont understand why my mom doesnt clean anymore! out house used to be nice and clean. now its ******* ****!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i have asked my mom why doesnt she clean and she gets all defensive and says IVE GIVEN UP and STOP TELLING ME WHAT TO DO. ive even said mom ill help you do this, lets do it when we get home and she says NO. and stop telling me what to do!!!!
i hate it! i hate being at home because im so unchompratable here, and its very stressful. i will just cry for no reason. ive told my mom also several times to make us a chore list so the house can be clean. and she just says shell do it but never does. out house is pretty big. it has... (split level) upstairs: frontroom, kitchen, 3 bed rooms, a bathroom and a bathroom in my gmas room, sunroom, and a big porch, downstairs: open room, 2 bed rooms laundry and bathroom. ALL UNFINISHED DOWNSTAIRS. and my brothers LIVE DOWN THERE! the bathroom... ugh (downstairs) has holes in the wall, has stains on the wall from when the plumbing broke (gag) bugs flying all over, and its nasty. i dont want to describe anymore of my house. its horrific!!!
please.. how can i get my mom to help me clean, and how ca i get this house clean!!!
this is making me seriously depressed and moody. i need clean.
it makes me happy, i have suggested a house keeper to my gma (shes pretty wealthy) but she always just says no im not wasting my money... how much are they, speaking of?
in 2 days im going away for a week with a friend on vacation THANK GOD! but i dont want to come home to this shitty place...
PLEASE HELP ME BEFORE I JUMP OFF A CLIFF?My Mom doesnt clean the house and it drive me mad?
You are a minor and you cant do it all, you have a brother who is disabled, and if the house is as bad as you say then their is no way you or your brother are being taken care of properly and needs meant especially for your brother who can't do a lot for himself. If I were you I would tell your mom that if it isn't cleaned up that social serves could end up getting called. I know you love her but something has bot be done nobody should be living like that, it's unhealthy and un safe.My Mom doesnt clean the house and it drive me mad?
There might be some emotinal mental prob with your fam. Find a way to get them help asap. Or you can contact this TV show %26amp; have a chance at getting their help :
http://www.mystyle.com/mystyle/shows/messiesthome/hotmess/index.jsp
I guess you just have to live with it or do it yourself until you are old enough to move out. And don't have people over. If your parents ask why tell them the home is embarrassing. And once you move out, just don't go back over there.
Let's see, God gave you two arms, two legs and a brain right? So be thoughtful and considerate and clean the house yourself.
Can you move in with your friend? Tell your mother she is causing you to go mental, with the filth in the house, and you can't live like this, and you can't do all the cleaning yourself.Ask her to hire someone to clean it up if she doesn't want to, but you can't live like this.
Sounds like my mother. When I was a teenager, I was the one who used to the clean the house. She was one of the most laziest people I've ever met. She also never would invite anyone over her house, including me, her daughter, or her own parents when I didn't live with her. This is when I was living at my grandparents house when I was a child. I could imgaine what the place looked like. I actually had to go over and clean her entire apartment a few weeks ago. It took me 2 days to do. It was disgusting, I had to paint the cabinets bc they were filthy and I asked her how she could live like that. I lived there too a few years back. Of course when I did the house looked nice. My apartment is clean, but looks lived in. I don't mind papers laying around or a hair or two on the floor. I'm not a total clean freak, plus I work full time but still my house is clean. I finally got to invite my fiancee over since he's been to her house like 2x. The first time she invited us over the house, it was such a mess and I was totally embarrassed. She is very thrifty and not into decorating, as I am either. My mom thinks it's kind of funny when I get on her about cleaning bc to her it's not a big deal and she also doesn't see a problem with not having anyone in her house. She could be living in a cardboard box and be happy. I, like you, like then nicer things in life. You can explain how you feel to your mom but don't expect a change.
Well, how about getting your *** up and cleaning the house on your own? Just because you are a teenager doesn't mean you don't know how to clean. Your mom probably has her hands full and doesn't need to be bitched at by a teenager, clean up a bit around the house. Once things are a bit tidier, it is easy to keep it up.
My house is disgusting, and it DRIVES ME MAD
im a clean freak, and i cant LIVE IN IT. my room is clean, and im always clean, im a clean cut kindof girl, who has very rich, nice taste. but my family on the other hand.... ARE NOT!
my kitchen is so gross, there will be food stains and food on the counters for longer then a week, and food crumbs, chunks, stains on the tile, and food left out. and the stove is filled with leftover food from cooking, and the kitchen has split food, stains in it, etc. etc. i HAVE cleaned the kitchen i dont know how many times.. but i just cant do it by myself. The frontroom has carpet stains because they dont clean up when they spill drinks and stuff, and its very very very CLUTTERED!!!!!
this is so gross... i was cleaning the frontroom once and (my grandparents live with us- the frontroom is basically where they are always) and i was picking up magazenes from by my grandpas chair, and under them were.... GRUBS! FREAKIN GRUBS!!! with food grumbs and nasty sticky stuff all over. so i vaccumed it up, gaging while doing it but yeah.
the front porch is nasty because my brother has his friends over ALL THE TIME (he is 16) and they smoke and have food and pop cans out on the porch and they just leave it there! and also, our dryer has this thing where lint stuff comes out the side of the house? idk its wierd, bu its all over the porch because my mom doesnt clean it up! I DO.
and outside, the lawn is always cut yes. but... ugh... since we dont use the garage, weeds and **** gros in front of it through the cement, and they are taller them=n me! IM 5'5!!!!!
the toilet is neevr cleaned, the shower is never cleaned, and its just horrible. when ever i have people over, they say OMG how do u live here? or like omg my mom would see this and freak out, and etc. (they are close- so they arnt saying it in an offending way)
i seriously CRY.
its very stressful to have such a messy house.
i want to be able to sit at my kitchen table and eat, but i cant. theres **** ALL OVER IT. i want to be able to watch tv in the frontroom, BUT I CANT EVEN STAND IN THERE FOR 5 MINS.
i want to be able to have people over and not just have them in my room BUT I CANT!!! i want to able to come home from school, and go sit in the kitchen or somewhre besides my room, and have a snack or do my homework, BUT.. I CANT!:( im always in my room because i cant stand this hell hold. theres 7 of us. (mom dad 16 year old brother, 18 yr old with special needs, me, nana, papa) oh and my cat.) and dont say oh she cant do everything, u have ti do some stuff...i do, its just i dont understand why my mom doesnt clean anymore! out house used to be nice and clean. now its ******* ****!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i have asked my mom why doesnt she clean and she gets all defensive and says IVE GIVEN UP and STOP TELLING ME WHAT TO DO. ive even said mom ill help you do this, lets do it when we get home and she says NO. and stop telling me what to do!!!!
i hate it! i hate being at home because im so unchompratable here, and its very stressful. i will just cry for no reason. ive told my mom also several times to make us a chore list so the house can be clean. and she just says shell do it but never does. out house is pretty big. it has... (split level) upstairs: frontroom, kitchen, 3 bed rooms, a bathroom and a bathroom in my gmas room, sunroom, and a big porch, downstairs: open room, 2 bed rooms laundry and bathroom. ALL UNFINISHED DOWNSTAIRS. and my brothers LIVE DOWN THERE! the bathroom... ugh (downstairs) has holes in the wall, has stains on the wall from when the plumbing broke (gag) bugs flying all over, and its nasty. i dont want to describe anymore of my house. its horrific!!!
please.. how can i get my mom to help me clean, and how ca i get this house clean!!!
this is making me seriously depressed and moody. i need clean.
it makes me happy, i have suggested a house keeper to my gma (shes pretty wealthy) but she always just says no im not wasting my money... how much are they, speaking of?
in 2 days im going away for a week with a friend on vacation THANK GOD! but i dont want to come home to this shitty place...
PLEASE HELP ME BEFORE I JUMP OFF A CLIFF?My Mom doesnt clean the house and it drive me mad?
You are a minor and you cant do it all, you have a brother who is disabled, and if the house is as bad as you say then their is no way you or your brother are being taken care of properly and needs meant especially for your brother who can't do a lot for himself. If I were you I would tell your mom that if it isn't cleaned up that social serves could end up getting called. I know you love her but something has bot be done nobody should be living like that, it's unhealthy and un safe.My Mom doesnt clean the house and it drive me mad?
There might be some emotinal mental prob with your fam. Find a way to get them help asap. Or you can contact this TV show %26amp; have a chance at getting their help :
http://www.mystyle.com/mystyle/shows/messiesthome/hotmess/index.jsp
Report Abuse
I guess you just have to live with it or do it yourself until you are old enough to move out. And don't have people over. If your parents ask why tell them the home is embarrassing. And once you move out, just don't go back over there.
Let's see, God gave you two arms, two legs and a brain right? So be thoughtful and considerate and clean the house yourself.
Can you move in with your friend? Tell your mother she is causing you to go mental, with the filth in the house, and you can't live like this, and you can't do all the cleaning yourself.Ask her to hire someone to clean it up if she doesn't want to, but you can't live like this.
Sounds like my mother. When I was a teenager, I was the one who used to the clean the house. She was one of the most laziest people I've ever met. She also never would invite anyone over her house, including me, her daughter, or her own parents when I didn't live with her. This is when I was living at my grandparents house when I was a child. I could imgaine what the place looked like. I actually had to go over and clean her entire apartment a few weeks ago. It took me 2 days to do. It was disgusting, I had to paint the cabinets bc they were filthy and I asked her how she could live like that. I lived there too a few years back. Of course when I did the house looked nice. My apartment is clean, but looks lived in. I don't mind papers laying around or a hair or two on the floor. I'm not a total clean freak, plus I work full time but still my house is clean. I finally got to invite my fiancee over since he's been to her house like 2x. The first time she invited us over the house, it was such a mess and I was totally embarrassed. She is very thrifty and not into decorating, as I am either. My mom thinks it's kind of funny when I get on her about cleaning bc to her it's not a big deal and she also doesn't see a problem with not having anyone in her house. She could be living in a cardboard box and be happy. I, like you, like then nicer things in life. You can explain how you feel to your mom but don't expect a change.
Well, how about getting your *** up and cleaning the house on your own? Just because you are a teenager doesn't mean you don't know how to clean. Your mom probably has her hands full and doesn't need to be bitched at by a teenager, clean up a bit around the house. Once things are a bit tidier, it is easy to keep it up.
How do get him to see that 'his way' isn't the 'right way'?
so I am expected to do it ALL....
my hubby doesn't think thaking care of my son properly is a full time job. He thinks that ontop of doing 99% of the child care and ALL of the cooking and shoping I should do ALL of the house work, and take care of the HUGE garden. weather its all done or not he says I sit at home on my butt all day!!! My son is one of the most happy babies ever and I dedicate 100% of my time to him when he is awake, I don't care what I have to do I want him to be as happy as possible. I'm not going to ignore him to get stuff done! I also prepare all of our food (babies included) from scratch, I buy loafs of bread and some cereal and milk but eveything else is made by me, snacks, juice, breads (to go with supper) everything. I get $hit on for wanting him to watch HIS son while I pull weeds or go to do the shopping, I don't get appreciated for what I do I am so frusterated! have any of you delt with this before?How do get him to see that 'his way' isn't the 'right way'?
Wow, I am so sorry for you. You need to sit down and talk with your husband...or have him take over for a week to see if he could handle such a load...
I don't remotely have your problem. My husband is the most giving, compassionate man on earth. His and my priority is our child. I could literally sit around playing with our child all day long, and my husband could care less....he can do his onw laundry, food, and housework. I didn't quit my job to become a maid, I quit to become a mommy....you need to remind your husband of that.How do get him to see that 'his way' isn't the 'right way'?
Sounds like an overbearing man!! Some might say this is mental abuse.
yeah, why dont you go out for a whole day- make up some huge reason. my fiance has to watch my son every once in a while about 8 hours a day on the weekend and he sue to say this until he stopped getting help with it, then he started saying thank you to me and calling me super mom lol
When he gets home from work, just leave. Don't say a word, just physically hand off the baby and go. Stay gone for at least 4 hours, if not longer, and let him SEE what it's like to sit on your butt with an infant around.
After that, you need to have a long discussion and TELL, not ask, him that he is going to start helping you. If that doesn't work, just start doing enough around the house for the baby. Keep the baby's space clean, make baby food and do the baby's laundry. Do nothing for your husband until he realizes that you are his wife, not his mommy.
I think alot of guys are like this I know my husband is. Sometimes I will be doing something and the baby starts acting up or needs changing or fed and Im like can you get that and he will say please no I just got off work or something like that it makes me so mad. I would like him to stay at home with her all day but then I probley wouldnt ever get anymore kids LOL.
Well, was he like this before the baby came? Does he think women and men have specific roles? Or is it only because you don't have a job outside the house.
I would suggest seeing a marriage counselor. Obviously, talking to him isn't going to help and your anger and frustration is only going to build. Counseling could really help him see all you have to do and what is going on in his head. He probably feels that he works all day and deserves a break. I know you do too, I'm just saying, that is how he probably sees it.
My husband and I have always split chores/household duties. Therefore, when the baby comes, it will stay the same. I have a feeling you did everything before the baby came and now with the added stress of a child, you are realizing you can't do it all on your own.
good luck!
If you're asking what I would do...I would leave. Tell him can find out what its like when you have joint custody and he has to take care of his baby alone every other weekend. Honestly guys like this need to be jerked back to reality and it may take a little threatening to do it. He probably treats you that way b/c he thinks he can and that you will take it. So show him that you won't.
Just STOP doing anything around the house, don't have his meals prepared, don't wash his clothes ... take care of the baby and that's it!! Then see if he thinks you sit on your a** all day!!
Realistically, if you try to talk to him and nothing works..are you close with his mom?? Sometimes mother-in-laws can work magic w/ their sons..sometimes they can't..just depends on the mother-in-law you have!!
That is the life of a stay at home mom. I take care of baby, cleaning, meals, Emma's babyfood is also homemade, and I hoe out, pick, and put up the garden food. Hubby will help if he has time after getting home (we are building our house so he is usually doing that in the evening). He tills the garden and helped plant it, but thats about it. I am also pregnant. I just consider it my job, but I probably have a better attitude about because if I asked for his help he would give it to me.
my hubby doesn't think thaking care of my son properly is a full time job. He thinks that ontop of doing 99% of the child care and ALL of the cooking and shoping I should do ALL of the house work, and take care of the HUGE garden. weather its all done or not he says I sit at home on my butt all day!!! My son is one of the most happy babies ever and I dedicate 100% of my time to him when he is awake, I don't care what I have to do I want him to be as happy as possible. I'm not going to ignore him to get stuff done! I also prepare all of our food (babies included) from scratch, I buy loafs of bread and some cereal and milk but eveything else is made by me, snacks, juice, breads (to go with supper) everything. I get $hit on for wanting him to watch HIS son while I pull weeds or go to do the shopping, I don't get appreciated for what I do I am so frusterated! have any of you delt with this before?How do get him to see that 'his way' isn't the 'right way'?
Wow, I am so sorry for you. You need to sit down and talk with your husband...or have him take over for a week to see if he could handle such a load...
I don't remotely have your problem. My husband is the most giving, compassionate man on earth. His and my priority is our child. I could literally sit around playing with our child all day long, and my husband could care less....he can do his onw laundry, food, and housework. I didn't quit my job to become a maid, I quit to become a mommy....you need to remind your husband of that.How do get him to see that 'his way' isn't the 'right way'?
Sounds like an overbearing man!! Some might say this is mental abuse.
yeah, why dont you go out for a whole day- make up some huge reason. my fiance has to watch my son every once in a while about 8 hours a day on the weekend and he sue to say this until he stopped getting help with it, then he started saying thank you to me and calling me super mom lol
When he gets home from work, just leave. Don't say a word, just physically hand off the baby and go. Stay gone for at least 4 hours, if not longer, and let him SEE what it's like to sit on your butt with an infant around.
After that, you need to have a long discussion and TELL, not ask, him that he is going to start helping you. If that doesn't work, just start doing enough around the house for the baby. Keep the baby's space clean, make baby food and do the baby's laundry. Do nothing for your husband until he realizes that you are his wife, not his mommy.
I think alot of guys are like this I know my husband is. Sometimes I will be doing something and the baby starts acting up or needs changing or fed and Im like can you get that and he will say please no I just got off work or something like that it makes me so mad. I would like him to stay at home with her all day but then I probley wouldnt ever get anymore kids LOL.
Well, was he like this before the baby came? Does he think women and men have specific roles? Or is it only because you don't have a job outside the house.
I would suggest seeing a marriage counselor. Obviously, talking to him isn't going to help and your anger and frustration is only going to build. Counseling could really help him see all you have to do and what is going on in his head. He probably feels that he works all day and deserves a break. I know you do too, I'm just saying, that is how he probably sees it.
My husband and I have always split chores/household duties. Therefore, when the baby comes, it will stay the same. I have a feeling you did everything before the baby came and now with the added stress of a child, you are realizing you can't do it all on your own.
good luck!
If you're asking what I would do...I would leave. Tell him can find out what its like when you have joint custody and he has to take care of his baby alone every other weekend. Honestly guys like this need to be jerked back to reality and it may take a little threatening to do it. He probably treats you that way b/c he thinks he can and that you will take it. So show him that you won't.
Just STOP doing anything around the house, don't have his meals prepared, don't wash his clothes ... take care of the baby and that's it!! Then see if he thinks you sit on your a** all day!!
Realistically, if you try to talk to him and nothing works..are you close with his mom?? Sometimes mother-in-laws can work magic w/ their sons..sometimes they can't..just depends on the mother-in-law you have!!
That is the life of a stay at home mom. I take care of baby, cleaning, meals, Emma's babyfood is also homemade, and I hoe out, pick, and put up the garden food. Hubby will help if he has time after getting home (we are building our house so he is usually doing that in the evening). He tills the garden and helped plant it, but thats about it. I am also pregnant. I just consider it my job, but I probably have a better attitude about because if I asked for his help he would give it to me.
Parents never seem to be Happy.....?
My parents never seem to be happy. like they smile here and there but they never really seem to be having good time.
All they do is work and clean or worry over work or worry over getting the house clean.
They work at LEAST 8 hours a day ( My mom is a Chemist and my dad just became CEO of some new company {he is employeee #1} nad befor was a Senior Director BioChemist
But they go to work and work really hard most of the time my mom doesn't even take her lunch break. and when she gets home she insists that the house isn't clean enough and begins cleaning it.
My dad works really hard and when he gets home he giving off this streesed out vib and first thing he does when he walks in the door is point out what me and my sister havn't done around the house.
and Example of this is:
Ine day I got home after school i clean the entire house! I do all the dishes, I wipe down the counters, I vactume the carpet, I clean the bathrooms, I clean my room and my sisters room, I pick up EVERYTHING around the house, i mowed the lawn, weeded the garden, cleaned out the litter box, walked the Dog, cleaned my parents room (!!), I vacumed and scrubbed the pool and Did all the laundry!
and first thing he says to me when he walks in the door is
'; Sam you need to sweep the floors'; and continues to walk on sets down his stuff and turns of the football game,
And that is his route he comes in letcures us on what we havn't done, get his dinner ( sometimes makes dinner) and then sits down on the couch and turns on the TV and eats his dinner ( And he does NOT clean up the Cooking mess so by the time my mom comes in what was once clean is back to a disaster zone) and when he isn't watching the TV or doing work he is up messing with his boat.
And mom does nothing but clean and work and seems depressed or stressed or over worked
,
Also My mom was astraight A student and my Dad a was A and B+ student all through high school and therefore a C is equivelent to a F in my house. So i try to get good grades to make them proud. But when ever my report card gets here it normally looks like this:
Math: B
History: A
Science: B
English: A
Dance/ PE : A ( 96%)
Cermic/ Drawing class: A+ ( 106%)
and all they can say is ';Why didn't you get an A in Math and Science';
And on the Weekends all they do is Chores, House remodeling, and the never ending TO DO list. they also drop us off at our riding lesson on Sunday from 9:30 to 11:30 and most of the time don't even stay and when they do stay they say ';good job but i don't see much improvement';.( I've gone from not being able to canter to jumping 5 jump course at the canter and 2.5 ft verticals and cross rails!)
Its like why do i bother to Try! Nothing ever seems to be good enough. I wish they would say to the Hell with it all and go do something fun they WANT TO DO not something they Should Do.
UGG. I've try talking to them about it and all they say is i need to help around the house more and maybe then we can do something ';Fun';. thier relationship seems to be going fine it not like the have fights or anything. Its just they never seem happy or like they are having fun.
I like I've never heard my mom really laugh lik hear a small chuckle but out of the 16 years I've lived don't think i heard my mom laugh. =(
So what can i do?
What do i do? How can i just get them to have fun?
* Sigh* I just about ready to give up. Cause I can't think of anything to do to help and nothing ever seems to be good enough.
Parents never seem to be Happy.....?
So you are the live-in maid?
First of all, get a handle on your own life... you can do chores while being active in school clubs and extracurricular activities or even getting a job after school. What you need to do is quit trying to be a walking-talking Roomba.
Get a big calendar and put your schedule on each day... this club on Friday afternoons then mopping the floor when you get home. This activity on Tuesday afternoon and then clean the bathrooms when you get home. The dog and cat will have to be serviced no matter what. When the pipe up to complain, you point to the calendar. This way you are eliminating any nit-picking after the fact.
Learn to be content with yourself. You will probably never make your parents happy... it isn't possible. About all you can do is try to keep your relationship with them relatively free of static. Don't tie up your own self-esteem in a quest for their approval... it won't work.Parents never seem to be Happy.....?
well they are probably thinking about a divorce cause they are bored! but they stay together because you and your sis...just remember is not your fault (nor your sister's)
ask them separetly if they are happy
found some time for each of them and do something fun (if they think football is fun then sit next to him and watch it)
not easy but good luck
Sounds to me like your are a great daughter. Your parents should be very proud of you. You want them to have fun and I agree with you they need some fun in their lives along with some relaxation. A cruise would be nice for them.
Go to a travel agency and get some information on different cruises. When you have your parents together show them the information about the different cruises. Tell them that you want them to go some where and have some fun. Tell them they work to hard and deserve a vacation. And that you thought a cruise would be fun as well as relaxing.
That's about all you can do. You can't make them go any where just suggest that they go.
Do you have family close by that can convince them they need to have some fun in their life?
Blessings and Good luck with your parents!cook fresh salmon
All they do is work and clean or worry over work or worry over getting the house clean.
They work at LEAST 8 hours a day ( My mom is a Chemist and my dad just became CEO of some new company {he is employeee #1} nad befor was a Senior Director BioChemist
But they go to work and work really hard most of the time my mom doesn't even take her lunch break. and when she gets home she insists that the house isn't clean enough and begins cleaning it.
My dad works really hard and when he gets home he giving off this streesed out vib and first thing he does when he walks in the door is point out what me and my sister havn't done around the house.
and Example of this is:
Ine day I got home after school i clean the entire house! I do all the dishes, I wipe down the counters, I vactume the carpet, I clean the bathrooms, I clean my room and my sisters room, I pick up EVERYTHING around the house, i mowed the lawn, weeded the garden, cleaned out the litter box, walked the Dog, cleaned my parents room (!!), I vacumed and scrubbed the pool and Did all the laundry!
and first thing he says to me when he walks in the door is
'; Sam you need to sweep the floors'; and continues to walk on sets down his stuff and turns of the football game,
And that is his route he comes in letcures us on what we havn't done, get his dinner ( sometimes makes dinner) and then sits down on the couch and turns on the TV and eats his dinner ( And he does NOT clean up the Cooking mess so by the time my mom comes in what was once clean is back to a disaster zone) and when he isn't watching the TV or doing work he is up messing with his boat.
And mom does nothing but clean and work and seems depressed or stressed or over worked
,
Also My mom was astraight A student and my Dad a was A and B+ student all through high school and therefore a C is equivelent to a F in my house. So i try to get good grades to make them proud. But when ever my report card gets here it normally looks like this:
Math: B
History: A
Science: B
English: A
Dance/ PE : A ( 96%)
Cermic/ Drawing class: A+ ( 106%)
and all they can say is ';Why didn't you get an A in Math and Science';
And on the Weekends all they do is Chores, House remodeling, and the never ending TO DO list. they also drop us off at our riding lesson on Sunday from 9:30 to 11:30 and most of the time don't even stay and when they do stay they say ';good job but i don't see much improvement';.( I've gone from not being able to canter to jumping 5 jump course at the canter and 2.5 ft verticals and cross rails!)
Its like why do i bother to Try! Nothing ever seems to be good enough. I wish they would say to the Hell with it all and go do something fun they WANT TO DO not something they Should Do.
UGG. I've try talking to them about it and all they say is i need to help around the house more and maybe then we can do something ';Fun';. thier relationship seems to be going fine it not like the have fights or anything. Its just they never seem happy or like they are having fun.
I like I've never heard my mom really laugh lik hear a small chuckle but out of the 16 years I've lived don't think i heard my mom laugh. =(
So what can i do?
What do i do? How can i just get them to have fun?
* Sigh* I just about ready to give up. Cause I can't think of anything to do to help and nothing ever seems to be good enough.
Parents never seem to be Happy.....?
So you are the live-in maid?
First of all, get a handle on your own life... you can do chores while being active in school clubs and extracurricular activities or even getting a job after school. What you need to do is quit trying to be a walking-talking Roomba.
Get a big calendar and put your schedule on each day... this club on Friday afternoons then mopping the floor when you get home. This activity on Tuesday afternoon and then clean the bathrooms when you get home. The dog and cat will have to be serviced no matter what. When the pipe up to complain, you point to the calendar. This way you are eliminating any nit-picking after the fact.
Learn to be content with yourself. You will probably never make your parents happy... it isn't possible. About all you can do is try to keep your relationship with them relatively free of static. Don't tie up your own self-esteem in a quest for their approval... it won't work.Parents never seem to be Happy.....?
well they are probably thinking about a divorce cause they are bored! but they stay together because you and your sis...just remember is not your fault (nor your sister's)
ask them separetly if they are happy
found some time for each of them and do something fun (if they think football is fun then sit next to him and watch it)
not easy but good luck
Sounds to me like your are a great daughter. Your parents should be very proud of you. You want them to have fun and I agree with you they need some fun in their lives along with some relaxation. A cruise would be nice for them.
Go to a travel agency and get some information on different cruises. When you have your parents together show them the information about the different cruises. Tell them that you want them to go some where and have some fun. Tell them they work to hard and deserve a vacation. And that you thought a cruise would be fun as well as relaxing.
That's about all you can do. You can't make them go any where just suggest that they go.
Do you have family close by that can convince them they need to have some fun in their life?
Blessings and Good luck with your parents!
My Gran is so selfish!?
I went over to my Gran's house and she asked me to do the garden cos her knees were aching. So I worked my fingers to the bone, trying to cut all the weeds back, prune, tidy and generally do everything to make sure the garden is spick and span (I even took the leftover weeds to the dump). Now I didn't mind doing it but she didn't give me any recognition for it, except to say ';Thank you love';. I'm sorry but it really annoyed me that she couldn't even be bothered to dip into her purse and give me something for it. She knows I don't have muchmoney coming in and she could have given a tenner or something in gratitude. I just feel like I shouldn't have bothered. She's just so selfish.
This isn't the first time it's happened either. I invited her over to my house once and I cooked for her, I let her stay, I drove her home and she didn't even have the courtesy to offer me petrol money or anything, she just keeps saying ';thank you! that's really appreciated'; and gets out of the car and walks in. So anyway, I had enough the other day and my Gran phoned asking if I would take her to see her brothers at the Garden centre near my house and I said ';Okay! .. but you really need to cough up for the petrol money this time Gran because I can't afford to keep doing this with no financial support'; and she slammed the phoned down after me after saying ';forget it!';. I was so shocked! So I called her back and she said ';don't worry love, Uncle Jack is taking me now';. She then abruptly ended the call. So I'm refusing to speak to her now, until I get an apology.
How do I deal with her, if this happens again? and also, what would you class a sufficient apology?My Gran is so selfish!?
You want your Gran to pay you for showing love and affection towards her? And you think she's the selfish one? The only apology that would be sufficient is for you to pick up the phone and tell her that you're really sorry for treating her like that!My Gran is so selfish!?
Perhaps she just sees all the favours you are doing for her as payback for the things she's done for you during your life. I
You are the selfish one, you should help elder members of your family just because you can not for a reward. A sufficient apology from you would be to apologise for your bad manners and ask if she needs any help with anything.
well sweety, if you respect your gran karma will come around and you will have good luck. and baby theres comes a time in everybody's life where they get old. your gunna get that way one day or another buddy. oh and she might just be going through menopause
So, your form of recognition is for her to dip into her pocket and pay you for it? I thought a sincere Thank You is enough, but I guess this doesn't apply for selfish people like you. If you expect to get paid every time someone ask you for a favor, you should tell them your rate first. The selfish person in this story from what I see, is you, not your grandma. And the person who should apologize is also you.
Firstly, she assumes you're altruistic. Meaning you're doing it for her without wanting to get paid back. Secondly, you're the selfish one if you expect payment for helping family. You are what is known as a ';psychic vampire'; by feeding off of those that are weak you give them things, which you consider to be binding them to you for a favor in return later on under the guise of altruism. You need to get some moral character.
i just dont understand why she owes YOU anything? shes your grandparent for gods sake..if anything you OWE it to her to watch after her like she needs you to do. YOU owe it to her to help her with her garden and to take her where she needs to go..dont be selfish
you do things for your family out of love and not for money !
why should she give you money, I expect she did things for you when you were small, helped the family about the things she might of done without your knowledge.
Apologies to your nan you only get one, apologies just explain money is tight for you at the moment , if she has a fiend who wants some gardening done for a tenner than your the one to do it
I can see both sides here. If i were you, id be annoyed, because lets face it, money doesnt grow on trees %26amp; if she got someone else to do it, she'd probably have to pay. But at the same time, how many things has she done for you in your life? She probably thinks that money doesnt matter because you're family. You need a compromise here
This isn't the first time it's happened either. I invited her over to my house once and I cooked for her, I let her stay, I drove her home and she didn't even have the courtesy to offer me petrol money or anything, she just keeps saying ';thank you! that's really appreciated'; and gets out of the car and walks in. So anyway, I had enough the other day and my Gran phoned asking if I would take her to see her brothers at the Garden centre near my house and I said ';Okay! .. but you really need to cough up for the petrol money this time Gran because I can't afford to keep doing this with no financial support'; and she slammed the phoned down after me after saying ';forget it!';. I was so shocked! So I called her back and she said ';don't worry love, Uncle Jack is taking me now';. She then abruptly ended the call. So I'm refusing to speak to her now, until I get an apology.
How do I deal with her, if this happens again? and also, what would you class a sufficient apology?My Gran is so selfish!?
You want your Gran to pay you for showing love and affection towards her? And you think she's the selfish one? The only apology that would be sufficient is for you to pick up the phone and tell her that you're really sorry for treating her like that!My Gran is so selfish!?
Perhaps she just sees all the favours you are doing for her as payback for the things she's done for you during your life. I
You are the selfish one, you should help elder members of your family just because you can not for a reward. A sufficient apology from you would be to apologise for your bad manners and ask if she needs any help with anything.
well sweety, if you respect your gran karma will come around and you will have good luck. and baby theres comes a time in everybody's life where they get old. your gunna get that way one day or another buddy. oh and she might just be going through menopause
So, your form of recognition is for her to dip into her pocket and pay you for it? I thought a sincere Thank You is enough, but I guess this doesn't apply for selfish people like you. If you expect to get paid every time someone ask you for a favor, you should tell them your rate first. The selfish person in this story from what I see, is you, not your grandma. And the person who should apologize is also you.
Firstly, she assumes you're altruistic. Meaning you're doing it for her without wanting to get paid back. Secondly, you're the selfish one if you expect payment for helping family. You are what is known as a ';psychic vampire'; by feeding off of those that are weak you give them things, which you consider to be binding them to you for a favor in return later on under the guise of altruism. You need to get some moral character.
i just dont understand why she owes YOU anything? shes your grandparent for gods sake..if anything you OWE it to her to watch after her like she needs you to do. YOU owe it to her to help her with her garden and to take her where she needs to go..dont be selfish
you do things for your family out of love and not for money !
why should she give you money, I expect she did things for you when you were small, helped the family about the things she might of done without your knowledge.
Apologies to your nan you only get one, apologies just explain money is tight for you at the moment , if she has a fiend who wants some gardening done for a tenner than your the one to do it
I can see both sides here. If i were you, id be annoyed, because lets face it, money doesnt grow on trees %26amp; if she got someone else to do it, she'd probably have to pay. But at the same time, how many things has she done for you in your life? She probably thinks that money doesnt matter because you're family. You need a compromise here
Wat do u think of my story?
this is my satory that im writing for a history project. the starter is your in class its 2:50 and your thinking of your bday party after school. all of a sudden the room spins and u feel a breeze.........now this is the rest!
I looked around confused. Where was the classroom? Where was everyone else? I tried to sit up, but fell heavily onto the mat with my head hurting. The woman repeated her question. “How do u feel Mdewakantonwan?” she said. Since when was I Mdewakantonwan? “Where am I?” I asked hesitantly. She looked confused. “Baawitigong. Don’t you remember?” she asked still confused. “No,” I said slowly. She pursed her lips like she was deep in thought. She took a deep breath. “You must have hit your head harder than I thought,” she murmured to herself. She sighed. “Wahpekute!” she barked, “take Mdewakantonwan with you fishing. It might refresh her memory.” I looked at the girl called Wahpekute. She was about my age with dark skin and braided hair. She was wearing a deerskin dress, with colorful beads on it. She looked at me and smiled. I frowned back. “Come with me,” chirped Wahpekute. She had a high sweet voice that reminded me of honey. I frowned and tried to sit up; gladly I found that there was only a throbbing in my head. Not enough to keep me lying down. I stood and found I was wearing the same clothing as Wahpekute. There was just one difference; my beads were bright yellows, magentas, blues, and greens while hers were dark browns, reds, and blacks. I followed Wahpekute out of the wigwam. She talked to me all the way about birds, deer, and people. As we walked I noticed all the people looking our way. I think I saw some of them nod respectfully but maybe I was imagining it. I looked at her questioningly but she just smiled and continued talking. When she stopped we were right beside a river. “Gichi-ziibi,” Wahpekute said proudly. She pulled me over to a group of two women getting a giant net untangled. The one with beads like Wahpekute’s, came over. “Mdewakantonwan, this is my mother Titonwan,” Wahpekute said gesturing toward her mother. “Hello,” I replied. Titonwan smiled and the other lady beckoned us over. Wahpekute showed me how to untangle the net and how to spread it out and retie the undone knots. Finally when that was done we each grab a spot and threw the net into the water while carefully tying the net to the shore. We did not want to risk letting the net float away. Titonwan handed out dried meat after that was done. I watched as the others ate theirs and took a hesitant bite. It was delicious. We all finished and Wahpekute said, “Come. It is time to get the rice.” I followed a little confused by what she meant. She took me around to what I thought was almost the other site of the village. On the way there, we saw many people working; fixing wigwams, cooking, cleaning, sewing, and cleaning animals. She took me to a spot beside a wigwam with a birch basket, sticks, and stalks of what looked like weeds. On closer inspection, I found that they weren’t weeds and they were covered in rice. There was no one here. It looked like this was our job and no one else’s. Wahpekute went over to the sticks and picked two up. She came over to me and gave me one. “Take the stick and hit rice into basket.” she said demonstrating. I watched her carefully, and then picked up a stalk of my own. I walked over to the basket and did the same thing that Wahpekute did. Some of the rice came off but not as much as Wahpekute had got off. I looked at her and she smiled. “Harder,” she said. So I did and it worked. I smiled, glad that I could do it right. We finished all the stalks and Wahpekute said we were to take the stalks to the fire. She picked up the stalks and I picked up the basket. We walked to the fire that I guessed was in the middle of the village. Like before she talked the whole way. When we got to the fire she put the stalks in a pile right beside the wood. “Now we take rice to SahGahUd,” she said walking off toward a wigwam to the left of the fire. I followed and when we got to the wigwam’s door she took the rice basket. She went in and I went after her. It was warm inside. I looked around and found animal skins, tools, and food. SahGahUd looked up as we came in. “Welcome children,” she said in a calming voice. “We have brought the rice SahGahUd,” Wahpekute chirped. “Ah, yes I have been waiting. Set it over there with the rest,” she replied. Wahpekute smiled, obeyed, and we both said good-bye and left. Wahpekute looked grim when we left the wigwam. “What’s wrong Wahpekute?” I said sounding as confused as I was. She hesitated then said, “I do not like her. She came from a different tribe. The Dakota. Our two tribes are not as friendly as the Chief would like. There are fights all the time. Them over here, us over there. It is back and forth really. She came to us one winter. Skinny and frail with nothing but her clothes to keep her warm. Everyone to pity on her, but I still do not like heWat do u think of my story?
Keep writing!
You are good!Wat do u think of my story?
A
AW
AWE
AWES
AWESO
AWESOM
AWESOME
AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I looked around confused. Where was the classroom? Where was everyone else? I tried to sit up, but fell heavily onto the mat with my head hurting. The woman repeated her question. “How do u feel Mdewakantonwan?” she said. Since when was I Mdewakantonwan? “Where am I?” I asked hesitantly. She looked confused. “Baawitigong. Don’t you remember?” she asked still confused. “No,” I said slowly. She pursed her lips like she was deep in thought. She took a deep breath. “You must have hit your head harder than I thought,” she murmured to herself. She sighed. “Wahpekute!” she barked, “take Mdewakantonwan with you fishing. It might refresh her memory.” I looked at the girl called Wahpekute. She was about my age with dark skin and braided hair. She was wearing a deerskin dress, with colorful beads on it. She looked at me and smiled. I frowned back. “Come with me,” chirped Wahpekute. She had a high sweet voice that reminded me of honey. I frowned and tried to sit up; gladly I found that there was only a throbbing in my head. Not enough to keep me lying down. I stood and found I was wearing the same clothing as Wahpekute. There was just one difference; my beads were bright yellows, magentas, blues, and greens while hers were dark browns, reds, and blacks. I followed Wahpekute out of the wigwam. She talked to me all the way about birds, deer, and people. As we walked I noticed all the people looking our way. I think I saw some of them nod respectfully but maybe I was imagining it. I looked at her questioningly but she just smiled and continued talking. When she stopped we were right beside a river. “Gichi-ziibi,” Wahpekute said proudly. She pulled me over to a group of two women getting a giant net untangled. The one with beads like Wahpekute’s, came over. “Mdewakantonwan, this is my mother Titonwan,” Wahpekute said gesturing toward her mother. “Hello,” I replied. Titonwan smiled and the other lady beckoned us over. Wahpekute showed me how to untangle the net and how to spread it out and retie the undone knots. Finally when that was done we each grab a spot and threw the net into the water while carefully tying the net to the shore. We did not want to risk letting the net float away. Titonwan handed out dried meat after that was done. I watched as the others ate theirs and took a hesitant bite. It was delicious. We all finished and Wahpekute said, “Come. It is time to get the rice.” I followed a little confused by what she meant. She took me around to what I thought was almost the other site of the village. On the way there, we saw many people working; fixing wigwams, cooking, cleaning, sewing, and cleaning animals. She took me to a spot beside a wigwam with a birch basket, sticks, and stalks of what looked like weeds. On closer inspection, I found that they weren’t weeds and they were covered in rice. There was no one here. It looked like this was our job and no one else’s. Wahpekute went over to the sticks and picked two up. She came over to me and gave me one. “Take the stick and hit rice into basket.” she said demonstrating. I watched her carefully, and then picked up a stalk of my own. I walked over to the basket and did the same thing that Wahpekute did. Some of the rice came off but not as much as Wahpekute had got off. I looked at her and she smiled. “Harder,” she said. So I did and it worked. I smiled, glad that I could do it right. We finished all the stalks and Wahpekute said we were to take the stalks to the fire. She picked up the stalks and I picked up the basket. We walked to the fire that I guessed was in the middle of the village. Like before she talked the whole way. When we got to the fire she put the stalks in a pile right beside the wood. “Now we take rice to SahGahUd,” she said walking off toward a wigwam to the left of the fire. I followed and when we got to the wigwam’s door she took the rice basket. She went in and I went after her. It was warm inside. I looked around and found animal skins, tools, and food. SahGahUd looked up as we came in. “Welcome children,” she said in a calming voice. “We have brought the rice SahGahUd,” Wahpekute chirped. “Ah, yes I have been waiting. Set it over there with the rest,” she replied. Wahpekute smiled, obeyed, and we both said good-bye and left. Wahpekute looked grim when we left the wigwam. “What’s wrong Wahpekute?” I said sounding as confused as I was. She hesitated then said, “I do not like her. She came from a different tribe. The Dakota. Our two tribes are not as friendly as the Chief would like. There are fights all the time. Them over here, us over there. It is back and forth really. She came to us one winter. Skinny and frail with nothing but her clothes to keep her warm. Everyone to pity on her, but I still do not like heWat do u think of my story?
Keep writing!
You are good!Wat do u think of my story?
A
AW
AWE
AWES
AWESO
AWESOM
AWESOME
AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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