Why is my guy friend like this?

I used to have very strong feelings for this guy who got to know me over the past couple of years. I met him through a group of friends and he invited me over one day because he found out that I had sent his friend this song he loved and he said he wanted to get some music from me and hang out.



We got to know each other better and I ended up going to his house a few times, where we'd watch films, listen to music, and once he cooked for me too. He always walked me home and was really nice. He said his family loved me.



On the first day I met him at his house, he asked me what I thought of relationships and he said he just wasn't sure-he thought they were overrated. One day, however, he asks me if I want to go out with him, through text. I said yes, we met up the next day and went out, then the relationship kind of slowed down and he seemd distant. I asked him about it and he said he was stressed with uni, that he really does like me and right now he can't commit. So I thought ok then, and didn't see him for a while after that until we saw each other in a big group of friends.



He would flirt with me, get jealous of guys talking to me and try to get in-between, and bring up the times we had. I didn't know what his reasons were for this because he made it clear he didn't want a relationship.



He's a flirtatious guy, but not a player at all as he's only slept with one girl, or 2 and he's 24. One day out of the blue he kissed me, and we'd never kissed before. I've never slept with him.



So recently I contacted him after not seeing him for almost a year,and asked how he was and if he was still around and he responded and wanted to meet up. I thought he would be working and maybe had a girlfriend, because he finished uni 1 1.2 years ago, but he seems the same as before and he smokes weed. I met up with him and we got on great, and it was just like before, he was flirting, but really sweet and walked me home. He said we should go for a bike ride some time. He said he was really happy to hear from me and when his phone rang he saw it was his friend Tom and he reminded me of the time tom came onto me when drunk 2 years ago and he got really annoyed by that. He also mentions some other things from the past he remembers.



I really actually care about this guy and he's very clever with a good degree and I would love to go out with him, but it worried me to see him giving up with work and smoking weed. He's never had a relationship really, although he knows a lot of girls. He's full of energy and I was wondering if he's depressed, as I do care for him.Why is my guy friend like this?
dont be his wife cause he'll be all YELLING at you (due to the weed)

and he will have scruffy hair (even more embarassing)Why is my guy friend like this?
Perhaps he is depressed like you said, smoking herb and giving up with work(whatever that means). That could be his way of escaping any stress he's feeling, or it could be the complete opposite.If he hasn't had experience in a relationship he's probably confused about what to do.



My advice is to tell him how you feel about him, and gauge his response. I'm sure he'll open up if you tell him straight up, if he's anything like me(which i think he might be) he might be terrible at picking up hints / signals. So talk to him... give it a shot right?
Im seeing some red flags in your description of the friend, don't be in any big hurry, if he should decide he wants to date i guess that will tell you whats wrong with him and why he is like this. He almost sounds like maybe he knows him self better than you do. Take it slow. Just the feeling i get.
i think maybe he had a bad experience or maybe saw or heard about one, so hes scared of going through the same thing, u should try to get to him but not directly, i mean ask him out and stuff but dont tell him do u wanna be in a relationship or something, just hang out, and maybe if he got used to u more it would be eaiser to him to have a relationship with you, and about smoking, u cant change anything about that now, maybe if things got into a better level between u two u can advice him to stop or even ask him to if u got close, if hes a smart guy and he seems to care about u too, dont let him go, try ur best =)



Hope i helped you,

best answer please! starred ur question! =)

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Warning signs of an affair?

How do i know if my mother is having an affair?

I mean from my view i would never even belief it, but lately things have changed, not enough to say straight away IT'S AN AFFAIR but enough to know somethings different.



I've moved back home for the rest of the year to finish my study until i start my job next year, i have two younger sisters one just started school and another that's 13. my family life isn't that Cruise, my dad drives truck and is away 75% of the time, my mother is marketing consultant and works 9-3 4 days a week, we're in the middle of a mortgage, so we budget as much as possible.

Anyway my mum is starting to work 5 days a week, which after she picks up my sisters one from school and the other one from her friends house which she walks to just about every day of the week.

school finishes at 3ish right so it shouldn't take her till 5- sometimes 6 to get home?

My 13 sister is starting to get into abit of trouble experimenting with drugs etc.. and my mother just says well she needs to make her own mistakes! { When i was young my BF died and i got addicted 2 speed, also when i went through rehab my parents were so against drugs, but then not to long after i found out that they do weed pretty much every week, there excuse were adults! i'm surprised i didn't go back on speed, but i'm clean now, they still try to hide what they do and i will hold that against them 4 life} but my mother has pretty much lost control, i mean she never really goes out to party's but round to couple of friends, she was complaining the other day that us kids cost to much, when the next day i found 4 oz of weed, so she's letting my sister get deeper, and when i try stop it she has a nut that i'm trying to do her job! Well the last month i have she comes home and expects everything from washing to tea cooked, i organise kids after school activities etc.. but she still turns around and say i do nothing when she is sitting on her ***, my sister that just started school got her report and i had to go to the interview, i dress her every morning and get her ready for school, i haven't seen my friends since i moved back, i no for a fact that her and dad aren't having sex because the nights that he's home she already asleep and me and him stay up and watch movies

there are no.s on her phone that she just says a work person, when she pretty much calls that number everyday, she has a personal email at work, because the one at home is shared, but my main concern, is she has always lied many many times to me and others, over the years, i found out last year that around about the year i was conceived she had a toy boy, my 13yr old sister has found sex tapes and toys which i've had to explain!

i've asked he simple questions which i know the answer to, but she lies about it and if i ask her a serious question she says stop being silly, your mental and starts up a cyk!

How do i know what's the truth,



any help would be much appreciated.Warning signs of an affair?
are you my sister??!! sounds like my life.. have you got any family memebrs like aunties of grandparents nearby because i can guarantee you they will get further talking to your mom then you willWarning signs of an affair?
Ok does your mom:



pay the bills



buy food



put clothes on your back



gives you lil xtras (like the interne your using to complain about probs on )



most likely the answer is yes so why are you tripping your mom is not physically hurting you the only thng she's doing is having a lil fun she has that right ecpecially for you to stay out of her business who cares if your mom smokes weed .. you did speed yea she is an adult if you don't like what she does move out your mom does alot you probably won't recongnize this until you have to pay for EVERYTHING





juss be thankful for what you have

How do you stop a dog from begging for food?

My 5-month-old puppy begs for our food CONSTANTLY. We do not under-feed him, as we have consulted our vet and he is growing like a weed. We have NEVER fed him from the table, nor ever given him our food for any reason. He begs whether we're preparing, cooking, or eating our meals. He barks and whines continuously for the entire duration our food is outside of the fridge. Between preparing, cooking, and eating our meals, this can last upwards of 2 hours with no relief. What have we done wrong? What can we do to train him out of this? We've consulted professionals to no avail. I've tried absolutely EVERYTHING I've been able find online. Is there something I'm missing?How do you stop a dog from begging for food?
You should try punishing him the moment he tries begging. It'll take time, but he'll finally get it.How do you stop a dog from begging for food?
Do you have kids that drop food by accident? Do they sneak him food when you aren't looking? I'm willing to bet it's one of those two things.



Put the dog out of the kitchen.
have u tried feeding him when you are about to eat that way it wont bug u?i had the same problem with my dog before but when it did that we let it go outside dogs do learn so eventually they will stop so they wouldnt have to go out
Put him in a cage where he cant see you. And only take him out of the cage if he is quite.
Squirt him with a water pistol when he does it.
punish your dog when he begs for food, from time to time, it will stop begging.
stop feeding it when it begs, and put it in another room for a while when you eat..

someone feeds him from the table. face it.

also it might be, it is not getting good dog food, or not as much as it needs.

Pot smokers- How do you let someone know that they're a prude without being rude?

I am currently living with my boyfriend and his brother and niece. I smoke like a broke stove and I can afford to, but his niece can't. Sometimes my boyfriend's other brother will come by the house and I'll drop dub five and he'll drop dub five and we let the session begin.



His niece lives here and she's welcome to join SOMETIMES, but now she's starting to kind of impose and just jump into the rotation uninvited, and she's always broke. I'm 25, she's 31 and I never felt like I had to teach someone proper etiquette when it comes to this, but most people know that weed costs, and that it's rude to just assume you can smoke up someone's sh!t without an invite and more importantly without money.



She never drops anything and she'll ask questions like ';Who's got the swisher?'; and call me on my cell saying things like ';Please, please, please, let me know if you guys get some weed today, I wanna smoke. Never has any money though. My boyfriend (her uncle) has been trying to tell her, but she just doesn't seem to get it. What would you say and how would you say it, so she gets the point, but wont be offended at the same time? She is a nice girl. Thanks to all who respond?



-Knowledge26



She only started smoking when I started coming around, but it's not my responsibility to support her habit and mine. She cooks, cleans and she's a really sweet girl, who has accepted me like family, and I love her but. Herb is pricey these days and t's gotten to the point wherePot smokers- How do you let someone know that they're a prude without being rude?
I had no idea there were concerns about ';etiquette'; relative to spot smoking. That's what I love about Y!A: I learn new things everyday!



I am eager to hear of other matters concerning the ';etiquette'; of crystal meth, heroin, crack and assorted hallucinogens. What about good, old fashioned booze? Any special ';etiquette'; concerns there? Can anyone advise?Pot smokers- How do you let someone know that they're a prude without being rude?
Just let her know how you feel. Tell her that she needs to start putting in money if she wants to smoke and if she can't then she cant smoke your weed. Let her know that you can afford to support your habit but not hers to.
First of all, you never have to be rude. Your thinking is justified so you should be confident in addressing this issue directly with the niece. If your boyfriend has addressed the issue and she doesn't seem to get it, I'll bet she really does get it. She's probably taking it with a grain of salt because it's not an issue with you (the other person providing smoke) or so she thinks. You can't assume everyone knows the cost of weed (just because you know) especially if they rarely have any. Either directly address this with the niece, without rudeness, or tell her if she wants to smoke, she needs to contribute. If she has a problem with it, then consider the situation and what options that are available to you.



Is your boyfriend worth the expense of providing smoke to his niece?



Can your boyfriend come to your place instead (without her)?



What will you do if, after talking to her, she still mooches?



Is your boyfriend willing to chip in on her behalf?



These are the questions you should ask yourself before approaching her. It's not your responsibility to teach etiquette and why would you subject yourself to this negativity? It bothers you enough to come here so you can either come to terms with it or get a new boyfriend if this is what comes with it. If he isn't helping resolve the problem, maybe you should move on. You already stated she's a nice girl so it doesn't sound like you dislike her and THAT is why you should be o.k. with talking to her. If she gets uptight, simply cut her off completely. This may cause some friction between her and your boyfriend which may cause some friction for you.



This can be a touchy subject but unless you know this woman well enough, you need to be prepared for any outcome. So, you can let things be and come to terms with the situation or talk the the niece and let the chips fall where they may.
Please, herb is cheap as f*ck and so are you. This woman cleans and cooks for you and you can't let her hit the bowl? If it really bothers you that much, you are someone few people probably want to smoke with. Why don't you try bartering with her, ask her to cook up or bring some munchies. You gotta remember man, if someone doesn't smoke that often or hasn't been smoking long they may not understand your ';etiquette'; rules.
You must not be rude . Just tell her the truth .

I need advice I have to get out of this relationship?

Im in a relationship of 11 years we have 2 children, for the past 5 years the relationship has been dead between us, I am trapped he will not leave because he says he will never leave his kids and if I want out I have to go.



The kids would be absoultley heartbroken if we split when we row they cry and beg us not to split up the relationship is destroying us all no one is happy.



He smokes weed everyday which I hate with a vengance I dont want my children growing up around it he says he doesnt smoke it in the house so its not an issue he just goes to work everyday comes home eats dinner smokes his weed and falls asleep until the kids go to bed he then wakes and stays up reallly late despite having to be up at 4.30am for work, he comes home and the scenario repeats.



I work part time and run the house solely, I manage the bills, cleaning ,cooking, kids, etc. I have no support he sees it that as I work part time I should do everything in the house which I agree to some extent but not all and help at weekends would be appriciated.



He has no interest in what me and the kids do or how we are, he never wants to talk.



I have spoken to him, cried and begged to help me as at times I feel so so low like I cant go on.



He just burys his headin the sand nothing happens he just carries on as normal I cant cope with this anymore please someone give me some advice I have nobody I can talk to about this.I need advice I have to get out of this relationship?
Staying together for this kids damages them more than separating. They pick up on the tension before you even realise it, their receptors are sharper than ours.



What country are you in, as I believe the law differs.



Kick him out, whether he wants to leave or not. If he physically refuses then make the move yourself, with the kids, there are refuge places available if nothing else. What sort of man would see his kids on the street while he lives in a large house?



Another issue, if he had counselling for his drug habit, do you think it could bring your husband back, the one you fell in love with? Maybe by walking out you will make him see that you are serious and it will be the kick in the butt he needed to make the change?I need advice I have to get out of this relationship?
Get a lawyer. Start saving up every penny you can in a secret account so when you do leave you are not left wth nothing. Explain to your lawyer that your husband does drugs and that you do not want your kids around it anymore. When you go to court request that he take drug tests regularly and must pass them to see the children. Children always take these things hard but its much better for them to be sad for a short period and then see how much better things are than to have you both unhappy all the time.
only way u just move out with kids and convince them,i hope he will stop his habit and join u.

try to seek help from ur council social services.
This cannot go on hun, atleast you are being the responsible one out of the pair of you and admitting that there is a problem.

More too often than not, people just carry on for the sake of it and like previously mentioned, it is probably better for your kids that you end this now and they do not have to live like they have been anymore.

Be realistic, you are not a family anymore anyway are you as he clearly isnt interested one little bit about you and your children and would rather smoke weed. Just think, the money he spends on that could pay for you to all have a nice family day out. He isnt be fair and he needs to realise this.

He is being selfish, he says he will not leave the kids, however he is not interested in them and would rather come home and smoke drugs than help with there homework etc.

I understand you probably love him, but he is not obviously the man you fell in love with all them years ago. I think you really need to make him realise this. Are you scared to comfront him?? If things are really that bad then I would suggest maybe you go and stay with relatives and take the children with you, and then maybe he might realise that he is about to lose everything. If you cannot work things out then maybe change the locks and tell him his stuff is ready and that he needs to live somewhere else until he can face up to his responsibilities and work at saving his marriage.

If he loves you and the children enough he will want to work this out before its too late... If you don't want to work things out then I would get advice from a solicitor about what actions you can take to get him out of the house, as you would rather he goes than uproot the children from their home. Good luck xxx
That sounds like it was written by me a few years ago, I can help you and yes you have to get out, if you would like to chat with me on yahoo I'm here for you and I CAN help.



Take care Kath
Hi, As you know things will only get worse and not better as your partner is not making any effort at all, a partnership is a 50/50 thing and gone are the day's when the women do everything in the home. Men should also take responsibility, not just for general household duties but the children as well. Your children are just being as any child would be not wanting parents to split up, being in an ideal situation mum, dad, 2.4 children, but as your children start to get older they will start to resent their dad, as they will start to realise just what he is like, I remember many years ago my daughter told me if her dad and i split up then she would have to go and live with him as it would not be fair for me to have both children, as my children grew my daughter said thank goodness i didnt go to live with him just look what he is like. No way would i have let her go..... but let's get back to you, the courts are all in favour for the mother to have the children and the home, they will evict your partner and things will not be easy for you, please go to citizens advice or consult a solicitor (they are normally free for your first visit) don't waste your life waiting for your partner to change, also there is another reason for you to get rid of your partner do you really want your children thinking that it's normal behaviour to act like your partner does, he does not sound like a good role model, i wish you the very best of luck in whatever you decide to do.
damn, i know kindda how u feel, what to do, i don't know, when a guy won't listen or respect anything u say it's hard, i hate it i can be yelling in my boyfriend face and he will just sit there dumbfounded, it makes me wanna rip his head off, he is content with this life we have but i need more from him, and when i try to tell him it's like talking to a brick wall, i don't want to leave him, i want him to change his ways, but if he won't listen how can i get that across to him, i don't know what to do either, i have 1 on the way due in 11 days, so i know about wanting to stay for the kids, but we have to think about us too, we can't be unhappy forever, plust the happier we are, the happier our kids can be! If u really want to leave him, go ahead and find some type of way to make it work for the kids, whether it be taking turns with them or whatever, your only getting older, u have to live your life before it passes u by and you be 60 years old wondering what u could have done in life!
call 0845 241 2171 advice line. excellent!
To be honest, it will be easier for the kids to deal with their parents separating then it is for them to see there parents fighting all the time. I know it will be hard but if it is for the best then do it. Talk to child services about your choices.

What should I do about my situation?

I know that I will get some nasty comments but hear me out. Been married for 25 years and no its not always been this way. But in the past 5 years or so, all I am is the slave of this home. I work 40 hrs a week, take care of the entire house inside and out.. and yes the cutting grass, trimming, weeding, anything that needs to be done, keep the maintance on the vehicles and each and every night I am expected to cook something for him only because he likes eggs all the time for the reason he has no teeth. He failed to look after his teeth and now has none. I am expected to wait on him hand and foot, cook his dinner and even pack his lunch for the next day. I am made to go and get gas in his vehicle when its low, I have to take care of his mother because he refuses to look after her. He has even waken me up for me to fix him some food. He sleeps in another room (his choice and thats ok - not complaining) I just feel that I have another child (although ours have grown and moved out). He is about 6 years older than me and thank God he does still hold a job (for now) but talking of retiring soon. I know its probably all my fault for allowing this to get out of hand, but I feel that if I am doing all that I can do and more, then why dont I just be single and alone because I am not getting any help from him. I am just his live in maid. Does it seem that way to you also? There is no love here and has not been for quite a while. I dread weekends because I am stuck in this house with him all weekend long just being the maid. My heart feels heavy with lack of a life and been made to feel as a maid. What would you do? PS. I have tried to talk to him about how I feel before, but he just gets very angry. I am pretty much a people pleaser and sometimes please everyone but myself. I am getting very tired. Any suggestions? Please be gentle as my heart is already broken. Thanks for your answers.What should I do about my situation?
You need to get out. Life is meant to be shared. You will feel a whole lot better when you have left the baggage behind and live a little. Good luck and just do it..........What should I do about my situation?
Time to start thinking of # 1 - YOU!

You only have this one life - can you really see yourself being the servant of this selfish creature for the rest of it?

Make a decision - and move out on your own.

You will be a lot happier, believe me!
You need to pray. That is as gentle as I can get for you. You need Jesus. Open your heart and mind and let Him speak to you and guide you. You can have a life if you so choose to do so. Even inside the life you already have. Simply pray and then do what Jesus tells you and live.
Sounds like you NEED to look after yourself for a change. He is taking advantage of you. If you've been together this long he will not change now. Have you got any family you could stay with, try to go on a mini holiday and see how you do with that. Its tough but if you are not happy, then I would leave.
if you feel like nothing but a live in maid, and your

children are grown, and you dread being with him,

then I don't know what's stopping you from moving out,

or kicking him out. I think you'll be much happier.
feel sorry for you

How much more should I have to do?

I'm a sahm and my husband works mon-fri 8am-3.30pm. His mother lives with us as shes elderly and had a fall hurt her hip.


Ok, so we've got 4 kids their 2, 4, 5 %26amp; 9. During the day I have my 2 %26amp; 4 yrs old at home plus the other two take and pick up from schoo. I also help his mother take a bath, get dressed, have lunch etc 'cos she doesn't walk well. I do all the cleaning, laundry and cooking (his mom is capable of doing some stuff but she doesn't) and I take out trash weed lawns etc. Once a month hubby mows the lawn.


He will not do anything else in the house. If I ask him he's been working all day. He won't ask him mom to help a little either. I don't feel like a wife and mother I feel like a maid.


Why won't he help a little? I've tried asking, explaining we've argued what will it take? I'm always exhausted and now I have depression how much more should I have to take from him?How much more should I have to do?
You have to get your self on a schedule, have the older two children start doing their share. And the younger ones doing a little. Your hubby is who he is, so why complain about it, do what you can do about it and manage the situation. He does bring home the check so that is nice. Be happy with what you have.How much more should I have to do?
Well if it were me I'd do it in stages....1st off ,tell him you've been working all day when he asks you to do something for him(like sex) %26amp; 2nd, if he really won't listen , hire someone to help you %26amp; make him pay for it. The 2 places that hurt a man the most....%26amp; interestingly they're both below the belt, his manhood %26amp; his wallet!
He sucks. Put your MIL in a nursing home. You have enough to take care of.
sorry to hear the depressed, pain your in at the moment. I'm sorry to say this but your 'man' needs to step up to the plate...my man works from 7am-4pm comes home and helps me out not alot but enough.





he needs to get you some help before your mental health suffers anymore and you too need to get some help for yourself....is there a local community house, play group or mothers group you could attend in your area? that way you could get out the house and do some fun social activities and not be stuck at home cleaning etc all day.





you need a maid or at least some elderly respite care so all this stress is not on your shoulders





please seek some help very soon before the kettle blows its top...if you know what I mean....and thats not healthy





take care and good luck :-)
Firstly, this is not a problem that has sprung up overnight. What has happened recently to make you feel more resentful about this situation? Was it the diagnosis of depression? If so, then you are at a very vulnerable low point; I really don't think that you should make any rash decisions right now. Better to see a psychiatrist and get your depression sorted out before you tackle your husband. Believe me, I know...I've been right there before. If you feel that you are about to do something you might regret, call a close friend or relative for some help; perhaps a weekend stay with them (take the kids, too) might shock hubby but can only serve to show him how much he needs you (and how you could leave him if he doesn't get his mother out of there). Goodluck.
Dont take it from him, girl! Lay down the law, and if he doesnt like it, let him know about it. Take a day off (dont say where you're going), leave the kids with him, and go shopping or to a hot springs or something. Get a little relaxation, dont kill yourself of the stress.





Then at a nice late hour, when you're all relaxed, go home. Depending on what kind of a person he is, he might be angry, but let him know that you cant take it from him, and he needs to pull his weight or you'll end up leaving him permanently.





Don't work yourself into the ground, even over love of your kids. If you can afford it, get a babysitter, wait untill the eldest is old enough to babysit themselves, or be realy nice to his mum and ask if she can look after them for an hour or two.





In fact, ask his mum yourself. If you be nice about it, and approach her right, hopefully she'll be happy to help- even if its just with little things, like cooking toast or something, that'd probably be a great help to you.





Honestly, you realy shouldnt have to take this from him at all. If you feel desperate enough, you should just crash. It's a little irresponsible, but if you feel that bad, you should just stop doing stuff. Hopefully when the garbage piles up, and the kids start whining about being hungry, he should come to his senses and realise that he should be helping.





It's likely that he's just used to the way things are always done. If you can do something that will shock him into changing that pattern, it'd be better for the both of you. You realy shouldnt have to take it from him, it's horrible.





I wish you the best of luck.
A couple of the answers above me have good advice. I agree that he needs a good sharp shock.


If he doesn't think that what you do is work, or important, stop doing it for a while. Look after yourself and your children and let him fend for himself (and his mum!).


8am to 3.30pm is not 'all day'. My day begins at 6am and ends around 9pm. That's excluding the night shift!


He should be helping you out far more. Granted he shouldn't be doing the bulk of the housework but I don't see any reason why he couldn't clean up the kitchen after dinner or help you bath the children.


Don't ask or reason anymore. Lay down the law and tell him that he needs to be more fair, or you will have to leave. DO NOT let your own mental health suffer anymore, your children need you too much.


Good luck, I hope you manage to work something out.
Sounds like you are doing just fine. I'm a sahm, too, and just extremely grateful that my husband works so very hard to allow us to have me at home.


And bless you for looking after your MIL - that's just wonderful!
You should do enough to keep the house humming! If this means you have too much in duties, Then, you have too much to do and should bring this up to your husband. Your husband


has some banking hours 9 to 3. Could he give you a helping hand around the house? People make work to be done. I


hope my little hints , keeps you thinking and doing less work!
Wow, you have a lot on your plate. You must be a wonderful mother %26amp; wife to be able to take care of it all.





While I have not personally been in this situation, one of my friends has been there. She eventually just told him I need a few days off %26amp; went to her parents for 2 days, 1 night. He was forced to take over the household %26amp; after just 2 days, he understood and began to help out a little more.





I don't know if your situation would permit you to do that, but maybe the extreme is the only way to really make him understand.





My thoughts will be with you.
You have had some excellent answers and here is my two pence worth.





Firstly with your husband he is working to provide which is great but he seems to have got the 'traditional' roles a bit mixed up. As far as I am concerned 'traditionally' a woman will do all the housework, cooking and cleaning but the husband will work, empty the trash and do all the heavy gardening if not all the gardening, the decorating and D.I.Y.





I am not necessarily advocating the above but that is my interpretation of 'traditional' roles. If I was you I would fix a rota, the 5 %26amp; 9 year olds can do chores. The 4 %26amp; 5 year olds can set the table, the 9 year old can clear the table and do the dishes/load the dishwasher - even if they leave the pots and pans and sharp knives for you then can do some of it. All children can tidy up their toys and put their dirty clothes in the laundry basket instead of over the floor the older ones can help the 2 year old, this can also work at getting dressed/ready to leave the house.





You need to ask your MIL to do things, I certainly don't want to attack you because I really feel for you but sometimes in situations like these the person working all the time doesn't communicate to the other adults and they can be shocked they feel like that. For that reason it is important to talk to your husband and to ask hubbie and MIL to do tasks in the house - a rota may help with this or asking 'if I do this ....will you do that....please' making it clear that you are still going to be doing things but that you can't do a million things at once.





Your husband doesn't work excessively long hours but he does work and I don't know if his job is extremely physical or stressful but he should still be helping you. Perhaps a couple of times a week he could get the kids to bed for you - it would provide bonding time for him and mean you just nip upstairs to kiss them goodnight. Also give him the option that if he doesn't want to help out alot more in the house then can he pay someone to help. Just a cleaner 5 hours aweek would ease your stress, or someone to do the ironing you can sometimes find a local teenager who could do this or look after your children when you are doing jobs for a low wage.





Your MIL needs to help out where you can but you need to ask her she may be afraid to interfere or she may just be lazy. Also find out if there are any community/government funding things for your MIL to go to - there are sometimes things like dial-a-ride to bingo or sewing circles etc so she can mingle and socialise with people her own age and get from under your feet.





I would also ask if it is possible to get out on your own even if this is just 3 hours every other week to do things on your own and get away from the house - it would again give your husband bonding time with the children. In the same way get the children to bed ask your MIL to babysit and go out with your husband even if it is just a movie or for a couple of drinks and stay local incase there is a problem.





Good luck I hope you get it started and start feeling better soon - best wishes.

My friend NEEDS help (drugs)?

Ok one of my friends is using ';drugs'; not a drug hes doing drugs..

when i first met him he smoke weed ever once in a while and now its everyday as high as he can get. He cooks pills and just about anything he can get his hands on. Im really scarred for him. I don't want to turn him in to the cops or something like that and i would get him in rehab but he probably wouldn't take it serous.. and to tell you the truth the kid is only 14 years old.. I have no idea why he does these things but i think its because of this mother passing away when he was younger and this is how he copes with it. What should i do about it?My friend NEEDS help (drugs)?
Let a responsible adult know. Or a teacher! Someone you trust, but let them know if you want to remain anonymousMy friend NEEDS help (drugs)?
I would suggest trying to talk to him. You may have done that already, so the next best thing would be contacting a rehabilitation facility and getting him help.
Hello, I'm a doctor. let him use wellbutrin. I think that you want to get more info about it. Please go to ----%26gt; http://onine-pharma.blogspot.com/?category=wellbutrin
It is called tough love. Call the cops and let the judge deal with what is best for him. They have experience with this type of thing.

I am sorry you are in this situation.
Chill brah, he's just experimenting.





























































































































!!!!!!!!!

My friend needs help (drugs)?

Ok one of my friends is using ';drugs'; not a drug hes doing drugs..

when i first met him he smoke weed ever once in a while and now its everyday as high as he can get. He cooks pills and just about anything he can get his hands on. Im really scarred for him. I don't want to turn him in to the cops or something like that and i would get him in rehab but he probably wouldn't take it serous.. and to tell you the truth the kid is only 14 years old.. I have no idea why he does these things but i think its because of this mother passing away when he was younger and this is how he copes with itMy friend needs help (drugs)?
you can probably be right but u should tell him that u r scared for him that u don't want him to do that stuff anymore and see if he can get help some howMy friend needs help (drugs)?
All I can say is be there for him. Let him know that he doesn't have to turn to harmful substances and that he can lean on you. Sometimes the peer pressure to stop doing drugs has a bigger impact than the peer pressure to start.
wow 14..thats crazy...where is his father or other adult figure? try talkin to him about it and let him know that you are serious and that you care about him..and offer to help in any way that you can and tell him that he does need help..and keep trying..dont give up on him..stay persistant so that it will get through to him and it will get on his nerves but one day he will realize and thank you for it..good luck..i hope all is well

Get answers from millions of real people.?

Is he an abusive husband? I have been married for 7 years. My husband (overall) is a good man. He cooks for our son and I almost every single night (5 out of 7 nights) after he gets home from a 10 hour work day. He takes out the trash, he cuts the lawn, trims it, weeds it, yada, yada. He maintains the pool, does the floors BUT he can get sooo angry so fast. I am always the one who has the problem. For example: I said that I wanted to learn how to cook in order to assist the house in that area - he wanted to ';help'; me but what this really means is that he will stand over me and add spices and such to the meal in order to suit his needs all the while making me nervous and telling me that I am doing things wrong. This has happened regarding the stir fry that I have been cooking for over 10 years...he wanted to add Soy Sauce to the white rice and OH MY GOD...the rice was brown and ALL we could taste was the soy, it was awful. He wouldn't once admit that it was a mistake he only would say that he wouldn't put in that much again. NOW his father was extremely verbally abusive. He used to nail his windows shut so that he couldn't get out of the house at night, and he used to use masking tape to ';keep the kids in at night';...his father was a ';wacko'; so I know the reason as to why he is like this. He DOES NOT do these things to his son, in fact, he is the opposite but with me I get ALL the anger and the blame. I am getting really tired of my 2 year old son witnessing this behavior for I do not want him to be like this and if my husband is any measure as to what could happen with a verbally abusive father I don't want that for my son....what should I do? Going to therapy will be hard for it will have to be over lunch while the boy is in school and I know that he won't go for that...HELP. He also gets on me for leaving the kitchen a mess WHILE I am eating my lunch, however I pick it up AFTER I am done eating...meanwhile he leaves a bowl with the remains of ice cream OVERNIGHT and just says ';oh well';....why does he get the ';pass'; FOR NOT CLEANING UP but I get beat up over having ';crumbs'; out on the counter WHILE I AM EATING even when they will get picked up in 30 minutes....arghhhGet answers from millions of real people.?
No offense he sounds like a dink. Are you happy? IF not call it quits before it gets worseGet answers from millions of real people.?
Um, all you need to do is be able to ask him to stop treating you as though you are his daughter.
You're right, your son will definitely pick up on that. His father is his main example of how a man should treat a woman. It sounds like he had a terrible childhood, and that's something he definitely needs counseling for. I can't help but wonder if you saw these characteristics in him prior to getting married. I think you all need to work something out in order to be able to attend counseling. I think he needs a personal counselor and you two also should try marriage counseling.



In the meantime during a calm time when there's no shouting or anything, I would calmly mention to him the concerns you just wrote out. He should know the way this makes you feel.
Wait for when he is in a normal mood, then tell him - calmly and reasonably, don't make an emotional issue out of it - what you told us.



It's good that he wants to do housework even if he's working, but 5 min of mental abuse is worse than 5 hours of housework. At least in my opinion.



So talk to him. One of the critical things is whether he will also listen, whether he will admit that there might be some point in what you say, and attempt to change himself. People change very, very slowly and some not at all.



If he doesn't want to change... then he will stay that way for another 7 years, and another and another. And it's up to you whether you want to live like that.

Will my urine be clean of marijuana?

On 10-13-09, i ate a small piece of marijuana (RAW NOT COOKED OR ANYTHING) for the first time. The piece was flat and about the size of a small Pinky fingernail and i ate it,



on the 26th, i had to take a urine test to see if i was taking weed and i was wondering how long it takes for that small amount of weed to get out of my system and i need to know if i will come out positive.



urine is suppost to be around 97-98 degrees F and mine was 90 degrees F for some reason but i looked at the cup and it said positive and negative and they said that they're cups were not exactly great so i went to another place to test but i don't know the results.



i haven't eaten any weed since the 13th or smoked it and i excersise at school for about 10 mins and do some activities that make me sweat alot for about 30 mins.

i weight around 190 lbs and i don't get tired much but i think weight has to do something with this stuff so please help.Will my urine be clean of marijuana?
it probably passed through your body awhile ago, chill you'll be fine

especially since you just ate it raw, why would you do that? it doesn't get you high or anything. just a waste....Will my urine be clean of marijuana?
It usually takes 30 days to complete flush out your system of drugs. If you drank plenty of water since it was just that small amount it could come back as a clean test. Chances are if u didn't drink any water or enough it will not come back clean.

white hair

Best friend turned into a ....!!!?

we live together with my friend.she doesnt do anything about the house, she doesnt go food shopping and spends all her time with her bf.they just got together recently.im tired of doing everything myself. so,our common friends adviced that i stop cleaning, shopping and cooking. they said it will make my friend to start doing smth about it. but she never does!!! her bf used to smoke weed,but he promised her that he doesnt anymore,but all his friends do. i moved out from my friend and discovered that some of my stuff is missing. i told her about it and she said that neither of them took it. now she acts like i offended her.we live in a small town and hang out with same people. everybody thinks im a bad person for ignoring her. she pretends i dont even exist.what should i do with her?how i make our common friends to turn away from her?Best friend turned into a ....!!!?
Familiarity breeds contempt. I've had the same experience with a friend of mine. Doesn't help at home, free food, etc. I confronted my friend so we're able to fix the problem.



My suggestion is to talk to your friends and tell them what's happened between you two, so that they'll know your side (if they're real friends they won't take sides btw). You should also talk to your friend and settle things with her. :)Best friend turned into a ....!!!?
Theres really not much you can do but to let them see for themselves what kind of person she really is. What goes around comes around.
U shouldn't by any means try to turn people against her just because you 2 are having problems.If she's a bad person they will figure this out on their own in time.Just try to stay away from her,but,don't sit and bash her or say anything behind her back that you wouldn't in front of her face.
Wait a minute...you say you live in a small town? LOL...what do u consider ';a small town?'; I too am from a small town--but when I say small...i mean small.1 flashing yellow light notice showing how to head out of town north or west....as soon as possible.

OK...u want to know how 2 get your friends to turn on your friend instead right?

Relationship Question ?

I am not going to tell you guys how old i am but i will say that there is a 13 yr difference between me and my boyfriend.



Okay, So i met this guy about a yr and a half ago, And about A yr of our relationship we were living at my grandfather So anyways, He is abusive but only If i do things wrong like when i smoke weed, But i only smoke weed because my life consists of nothing while i lived at my grandfathers, I cooked cleaned slept and did nothing, So now i am living at my moms house and he is still living at my grandfathers house, And i have been trying to get him to move somewhere with me and he just doesn't want to, He wants to wait till we have enough money and i tell him he had over a Yr and a half to get money together, and now i am pregnate and i found a very reasonable place to live but the problem is that my cousin [whom he hates because she is a whore] she lives in the same park. So what do i do?



I mean i know i should have left him before i got pregnate but i really love him.



And we can't live at my mom's nor at my grandfathers. Because of personal problems and age wiseRelationship Question ?
Move in yourself..show him that u stronger then weed, or even him. At the end he will run after you like crazy. good luckRelationship Question ?
youve got to grow up. You are pregnant and bringing a child into this world. You need to have that baby a place to live regardless of what he thinks of some cousin. Hes had a yr and half to straighten things out. Do you want that baby to grow up and see him abusing you? Whats wrong with you????
Okay....where to start...?



First of all, if he is abusive, you should not be talking to him AT ALL. Abusers will keep on abusing, it's proven over and over again. Having a baby alone is tough, but when he starts abusing you and your baby it will be tougher. Second, you need to stop smoking weed (if you haven't already)! Weed has an even higher occurrence of causing birth defects than tobacco. In the end you need to do what's best for you and your baby, regardless of whether it involves this man or not.



Good luck to you!

Help! No money for rent!!?? No money to live!! Fiance not working or caring...??

Help, my loser fiance has not had a job all month. I go home to find him with his friends (smoking weed, making music, and playing video games). He never cleans up, never cooks, he doesn't do much. I work 55+ hrs/wk to go home to this crap! Anyway- rent is due on 2/4 and he has no money! Also, bills are behind and he has a $500 car note that is late (I cosigned). His ';solution'; is to call a cash advance place (the ones you see on TV, they say they don't check your credit) to pay for rent and his car... which is about $1,000 or a little more. Will a cash loan place loan someone with no JOB and BAD credit this type of $$? I hope not, I hope we get evicited so I can move back home w/ my parents. He ';says'; he loves me and he is going to change, but his actions do not reflect. How should I act when I go home and find him there w/ his freinds? He has made no effort to even look for a job. I'm so stressed out here and so unhappy! Anyone have any advice for me? We've been 2gether 5 yrs.Help! No money for rent!!?? No money to live!! Fiance not working or caring...??
5 yrs 10 yrs you now see what you was going to marry, bell out ASAP, don't wait til u get evicted and mess your credit up! You have to put your rules and foot down and don't lift that mother up!!

No job, no eating, no living, no playing. He see you gonna make the money so hey y should he? after all you see you r the man and the woman in this relationship why do you need him, well this is old school knowledge, NO MONEY NO HONEY, and if a man can not handle his manly duties and cherish, respect, protect, and make you secure in all areas than as my dad told me when I was 15 THEN F**K A LOVE,

love does not hurt, stress, lay around, take adavantage or use you

being you have been with him 5 yrs he should know better, and should be proven himself to you but instead he has falled, so his credit is jacked, girl!!!! you never co-sign unless it's your husband see you went end bad to a bad choice and relationship, LAZY, BAD CREDIT AND A USER, as said on friday after next where was your antennas? RED ALERT!! I wished i could talk to you one on one, sounds like you are a cali girl and I have no sisters and hate to see a sista in any race get used or played, I am a only %26amp; baby girl of my family and had a strong mother who taught all i needed to know, good and bad,

hopes this helps.

You also need to get something in writing just in case because the can garnish your wages for his car or a bad report on your credit, take of YOURSELF as you see he cares nothing of your needs, wants, desires, body, rest or respect

hopes this helps

GIVE US AN UPDATE!!!Help! No money for rent!!?? No money to live!! Fiance not working or caring...??
why not just move back in with your parents.. if thats what your hoping for..



sounds like he's not going to grow up..
Hey girl

yeah you guys been together for a long time but he's a real loser and your better off with out him. I think you should have the car company repo the car before your credit is totally ruined and just move back withy your family. You'll be happier and less stressed and you'll have more money to save for your self. good luck.....
I found my answer within the first sentance. If he is not working, staying home and smoking weed and playing video games whilel etting you work 55 hours a week, DUMP HIM. You deserve better.
simple tell him to get a move on or he has to go!lets see if his friends take him in and will put up with him like that. y should u bust ur @ss to make money for u guys to live when he isnt? i went through this myself. told him i was kicking his butt out had his stuff packed and ready to go he asked for time i gave him 1 week. he had a job in 3 days, one he likes and has been there for 6 years now and is almost at same pay rate i am and we now have a five year old son, a 3 bed room house and 2 cars.
Now you know what type of man he is, the question is what are you going to do about it. Suggestion have bank repo the car now and set up a payment plan with them and never co-sign a loan again, it hardly ever pays off. Move out now, notify land lord now to find a new renter and ask if you can break lease if a new renter is found he will advise you on this because he does not want to lose money either, you will have to pay the loss on days not rented. Sorry sometimes the world is cruel. Tell the loser of a boy friend that you are going to small claims to file suit to recover any loss 5,000.00 or under and if over you will take him too regular court and sue him for all damages. But don't wait do it now or he will cost you more of your hard earned money.
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Relationship help?

So i've been dating this guy for about a year and a half..

and i know i love him and he loves me...

its just i dont know if im still ';in love'; with him...

there's so many things about him that drive me nuts...and things that i dont like him doing but he does them anyway..

i really dont think i could live without him...seeing that we live together and have 3 dogs together...

its just little things that make me so angry... like how he interrupts when im asking something, he never cleans, or cooks, and always wastes his money on stupid **** like ciggs and weed...

before we started dating i was kind of seeing this guy who is older...(34...%26amp; im 19) and ive been talking to him....and he's really a nice guy and listens to me when i talk....im just so confused on what to do nowRelationship help?
Are you sure you're not dating my man%26gt;? hahah it sound like we're in the same boat...We've been together almost 4 years, 2 dogs together but, I love him and i'll never be able to change him, you must decipher if you love him enough to put up with his bullshit.Relationship help?
No i'm in CA but hang in there girl you're not alone

Report Abuse

I hate to say this, but you don't truly know what love is. If you loved this man then you wouldn' be asking this and you certainly wouldn't be talking to exes. Dpn't mean to be harsh... when you are truly in love with someone you are willing to see beyond their quirks...
u have to consider, that there is no perfect guy-girl.there will be always something, u will dislike about ur partner, and as long as it is just small things, it is ok. u have to ask urself, if u cant live without him because u love him so much, or if u just cant take, that u wouldnt be in his life anymore, that little jealousy is maybe hounting u. so think about it, good luck with ur decision
look talk to him and if he doesn't respond in two to three weeks dump him and go wit the ohter guy but be careful ok oh and if he interupps you wi'll your talking to him say hey thats what i'm talk'n about that **** drives me crazy!!!!!why do you have to do that ****???that will make him shut up .........ok if you really love him that much don't break up with him at all just get him to change!!!!!

How do u fell about the following weeding's customs?what's ur view about your weeding party after what u read

In Tibet:

The bride relatives' put her on a tree and sit under it waiting for her groom who must face the challenge of climbing the tree and escaping by his bride from the hitting of her family, if he succeeded in this, this mean that he gain her parents faith.

In cook island:

The bride walks on the backs of youth in her village until she reaches the place her groom sitting in.

Indonesai: The bride is banned from walking in her marriage day; it the responsibility of her father to carry her on his shoulders to her new home even if this home is too far.

In Africa:

The bride in gobos tribe is compelled to perforate her tongue, putting in it the engagement ring, sinking down from the ring a string which allowed her husband to stop her from chatter by pulling down the string.

They thought that this is a good way to get rid of women's chatter, espically in the honeymoon!!!!

In negreto tribe:

In negreto tribe we will find the easiest habit in marriage, the bride and the groomgo to the mayor of their village who only hit their heads by this the marriage is completed (accomplished).



In morytanya

The bride's friends hide her, after that the groom began to search for her, if he searched with grief this means that he loves her very much but if he lags in searching this means that he doesn't love her.

They think that this is a good way measure the groom's love to his bride!!How do u fell about the following weeding's customs?what's ur view about your weeding party after what u read
Well, you have to look at things in context. In the old days in America, we had other customs, too!



';The border custom of bridal abduction was introduced to the American backcountry. In North and South Carolina during the eighteenth century, petitioners complained to authorities that ';their wives and daughters were carried captives'; bv rival clans....';



';Most backcountry courtships (though comparable) were not quite as primitive as this. The strict Protestantism of Scottish and Ulster Presbyterians created a heavy overlay of moral restraint. But many backcountry marriages included mock abduction rituals that kept the old customs alive in a vestigial way. A wedding in the back-settlements was apt to be a wild affair. On the appointed day, the friends of the groom would set out for the wedding in a single party, mounted and heavily armed. They would stop at cabins along the way to fire a volley and pass around the whiskey bottle, then gallop on to the next. Their progress was playfully opposed by the bride's friends, also heavily armed, who felled trees along the road, and created entanglements of grape vines and branches to block the passage of the groomsmen....';



So, as our customs have changed, so might other countries as well. Times and customs do not stand still for any peoples.How do u fell about the following weeding's customs?what's ur view about your weeding party after what u read
it might be a promotion of a woman's worth....their customs are far different from ours BUT their marriages seem to last the longest...sometihng to think about!
Customs that are strange to us because we have such a different background, they evolved for reasons we don't know, but there is probably a very good reason for them in the context of their society.
It is customary for me to weed my garden about once a month. That is my weeding custom.
negative.
Various cultures have their own customs. It all sounds better than the American way of making a show as to how much money you can spend and creating a spoiled bridzilla only to have 50% of them divorce after 2 years and thus makeing a waste of the whole show.
maybe he should look for her after 3 years lol

What else could this possibly be besides coke?

so i've been worried for a long time that my live-in boyfriend is hiding something from me, but i've always just shrugged it off as paranoia. the longer i know him, the more i realize how dishonest he is.

he is 32 and broke. he always has a job, but he is in debt to all kinds of places. he's in default on an old student loan. he never graduated. he has no nice possessions. no car. no license because he lost it when he was in his twenties and just never bothered getting it back. i always thought this was just because his jobs were too low-paying (he's a line cook) but now i think it might be something else. we do smoke pot sometimes, but i don't think he could possibly spend all that much on pot.

a few other pieces of evidence have come to light lately.

-he has trouble sleeping, sometimes on weekends he will stay up for the whole night and then sleep for 18 or more hours the next day.

-he has all these problems with his nose. he's constantly blowing it. he's been blowing out blood for like 3 weeks, yet he doesn't seem concerned and he doesn't want to see a doctor about it.

-his weed dealer is also a big coke dealer. he talks a lot about how he needs to quit smoking, but i think maybe his real concern is something else that he needs to quit.

-i've found packs of cigarettes hidden around the house, and he absolutely hates cigarettes... except when he is either drunk or on hard drugs.

-he has lots of issues with his sex drive and erections and stuff.



and here's the biggest tip-off-



-the other weekend, after he stayed up all night, while he was sleeping away the whole next day, i found some small bits of grainy white substance on our kitchen counter. i tasted it. it was very bitter and made my tongue numb. i haven't been around coke in a couple years, but nothing else tastes like coke. as far as i know.

-yesterday i found a cut off drinking straw badly hidden under our microwave.



i've confronted him with this evidence and he just denies it up and down. he says he hates cocaine and never touches the stuff.

is there any other possible explanation? i really doubt it, but maybe something i haven't thought of yet...What else could this possibly be besides coke?
Coke numbs the tounge, which you probably know. It sounds like either coke, or meth. And with you saying he stays up long amounts of time I would say it might have been meth... All the clues you found, you know he is being dishonest. If his behavior continues I would pack my stuff and leave. Dating a drug addict is the wrong path to go. Hey at least if thats what he wants to be he let you know before you married him right. RUN honey.What else could this possibly be besides coke?
If it made your tongue numb, it could be heroin or some other pain killer.
he's not the right person for you you more if he has no money but has money to buy drugs leave him good luck

How can I leave my boyfriend of 4 years if our 2 yr. old daughter wont even let him leave her sight?

I have been with him for 4 yrs. we have a 2 yr. old daughter and 1 yr. old son together.My daughter is a ';Daddys girl';,she wont even let him go to the bathroom alone,if he tries to go anywhere without her she ';freaks'; out,and stays by the front door screaming ';dada'; for hours until she falls asleep,if I try to pick her up and comfort her she kicks me and screams,she is traumatized just by him leaving for a few hours.But heres my problem.He treats me very bad.He never touches me,hasnt hugged me,or even tried to make love to me in months.I have tried to talk to him about it,and he says he doesnt give me any kind of affection because I wont let him ';smoke weed';!??? Well that makes me feel like crap that he has to be high just to give me some kind of affection,I cry all the time and he dont care,he just ignores me.I am the perfect housewife, Im a wonderful cook,I keep my house clean,I take good care of my kids,I take good care of my man and do everything for him as well,Im not ugly(I use to model),and I have a huge heart.He loves his babies and takes good care of them,but for whatever reason he just dont love me nomore,and I deserve better,but I need advice what to do about my daughter?She would be traumatized for days if I were to leave him,but meanwhile Im so miserable and sad but Im putting up with it all so I dont have to see my daughter cry.How can I leave my boyfriend of 4 years if our 2 yr. old daughter wont even let him leave her sight?
you gotta do whats best for you and the child...you gotta get up and leave him and take your kids...your daughter will learn she will in due time she will learn...if you can leave and provide then you will be able to handle it... i say you go find another man right now and see if he can help you out or w/e i hate to see women in situations like this and when u ready to leave he gonna want to do everything for his daughter guaranteed but he aint gonna try and help you out...and wat kind of influence is that to smoke weed im not doubt him but a real man takes care of his woman and children How can I leave my boyfriend of 4 years if our 2 yr. old daughter wont even let him leave her sight?
For a while, try just letting your daughter live with her dad as long as he promises to stay clean from the drugs. It's hard because she is your daughter but you sound like a good mother and for a while it might just be best. It could give you some time to bond with your son, and relax a little bit.
She needs to detatch from her dad. It is unhealthy for a little girl to be tramumatized every single time he leaves, she'll always be attatched to him in an unhealthy way unless you stop this behavior now. Do what's vest for your child. I wouldn't want my boyfriend to be smoking weed in front of the kids, around them, or have the scent in the house. Personally, he sounds depressed or something like that... Loss of interest, drugs, that sounds like it. Just try to get her away from him. Start with an hour one day, 1:30 the next, then 2 hrs, then 3 hrs for the rest of the week, then just keep escalating from there.
From my memory all kids go through this clinging stage. It will pass. But you do need make a decision about this mental abuse type treatment. If your doing your best and hes not happy and drugs involved the kids will soon see it also. Weed is illegal. He needs drug counseling. If its in the car and found when stopped with kids , they go to child protection. They can be taken away till court decides who can have them. Find a woman's counseling to talk this out. Make plans. His pot is making him irrational and it is not good for you or kids. Some states hold both parents responsible if drugs found in house. But at very least ask for help in a council for more advise. I'm afraid with his addiction and the children's stress something will go very wrong. It is better to be prepared. Plan to move out, get legal counsel, Legal Aid if needed.

PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE Room/Housemate Privacy Issues, PLEASE HELP!!?

Essentially, this is about my roomate, who came into my room without my knowledge to get her dust-pan back, and she never told me; but she put it in plain view.



This evening, my house mate asked me if I knew where her dust pan was. I replied that I had it in my room and had forgotten to put it back, apologized and said I would. She then mentioned that she would like to keep it in the bathroom for a few reasons. I let her know I thought that was a good idea, apologized again, and went back to my room. I had a bit of work to do and a few phone calls to make, so about 2 hours later I swept my floor and went looking for the dust pan. I intended to sweep, use the dust pan and then return it to the bathroom. It was NOWHERE to be found, a very bad sign since I KNEW that I left it on the floor next to the closet. and I both live in a VERY uncluttered / minimalist room and am INCREDIBLY organized. It was GONE. So, of course I panicked and went out side to have a cigarette to think. I my way back in, I stopped by the bathroom, and there it was. Sitting there, as if to mock me.



I spent the 2 hours between our conversation and my panicked moment on the phone, cleaning, and doing work. During that time frame, I had without question closed my doors and made sure they were closed. I left my room perhaps 3 times at most, to use the bathroom, to have 1 cigarette, and then to have a 2nd, in panic. When did she come in?



So, without question, during that time my room mate ';snuck'; in to get her precious dollar-store dust pan. Firstly, I realize that it was hers and that I perhaps over-stepping my boundaries by letting it sit in my room, off of its keeping-place for too long. Second, my roomate has openly encouraged me to use her vacuum, despite my hesitancy to use her belongings. Third, because I still was not comfortable using her vacuum, I used her CHEAP DUSTPAN, hanging next to it. I thought this was ok. Was my logic unreasonable? The dust pan was in plain view, in fact, unavoidably noticeable. This struck me as very passive aggressive, avoidance, vengeful and mean-spirited.



Besides this incident, I have been a little annoyed by some of her behaviors but didn't really feel THREATENED by one of them. Granted, there have been a couple of uncomfortable situations in which she has had friends over smoking a little weed, but that was OK. This, however, worries me.



I am a very private person and spend most of my time, when home, in my room. I am NOT interested in getting to know this woman (from whom I am subletting) very well, and instead, want to lead my own life. I am a night owl, and am awake generally until 5 or 6 in the morning,. but make few (if any) noises that could disturb her. I am very clean, never loud and make it a point to ask her daily (but BRIEFLY) how her day was in a pleasant way. Occasionally I cook, and I sometimes leave her food and notes just because.



I keep to myself and my own business. I don't want to get involved in hers, and I tolerate some of her intrusions on mine. This however, freaks me out.



I have two doors in my room. One has a lock and passes into the kitchen (next to her room) and the other does NOT have a lock, and is next to the bathroom (where the dust pan now lives). I ALWAYS make it a point to lock the one door I can and to close the other one. I suppose I have operated from the general belief that while very different than me in some ways, that we were both loyal to each others personal space and privacy.



However, the longer I live here (I have only been here about 1.5 months), the more I am realizing that she DOES want to interact with me more often and that, because I am resolute in my desire to keep my own space, she will say whatever she thinks will get me to hang around her longer. I often feel that I am avoiding leaving my room, because I know that any encounter I have with her will be one that is ';just to let you know / because I forgot to ask you'; or ';sigh. look at how sad I am. will you be my therapist and listen to my stories, as I have such an intense need to be an insecure, manipulative, self-reaffirming and validating parasite';.



I need help with her whollllle passive-agressive resistance to my refusal to be her ';buddy'; and insistannce on communication the extends past the neccisary.



HELLLLLP!

All advice ifs helpful, but, as the issue at hand and most bothersome is the DUST PAN, let's try to focus on that.



%26lt;3

PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE Room/Housemate Privacy Issues, PLEASE HELP!!?
STOP THE STRESS!! leave the innocent dust pan alone and buy ur own @ the dollar store, that will teach her. LOL ;-) PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE Room/Housemate Privacy Issues, PLEASE HELP!!?
All this over a dust pan??? Buy your own while you're at the store, buy a lock for the bedroom door
You wrote all that over a stupid dust pan? Buy your own, and you won't have to worry where it is. Why not move and live by yourself. You don't sound like a person who should live with anyone else.
Buy all of your own cleaning supplies and etc. bc she sounds a bit/way more than a bit OCD about her dust pan.And yes you sound like the type of person who likes and wants to be in your own place bc if your subletting in her place well unfortunately it is her rules.And she is allowed to be that way.And if it keeps bothering you just sit down with her alone and do find out what she is thinking of you and why she did that.Maybe that is why she wants to get to know you so she can explain herself.As much as you don't want to,but socializing with her will help knowing each others ideas.

How come am I single?

I believe that i'm a full package when it comes to be someones BF



I'm smart, I'm fun, I think i'm kinda of cute... like a 7 or so... im in a weight lost/muscle gain process ( lost a lot of weight meanwhile and recently a 4 pack is starting to shine a little :D ), I could be a great dad ( since I'm a damn good uncle, i know usually it isn't the same thing but in my case i really spend a lot of time with my niece), I have moderation confidence and I'm also mature.



I rarely do drugs ( just hax, or weed )

I barely drink alcohol

Video games just once i a while

Got a job, but still knocking at other doors

Not a player

Nice cook :D

Friendly ( not after i get stabbed tho )

I'm honest...too honest sometimes

I admit that being sweet it's not on me since i had to turn cold due to a complicated life and therefore showing affection is extremely hard for me.



I'm 23 years old if that matters somehow, well i kinda got defensive with girls since I had been cheated on with the only gf i ever had (which is helping with the fact that I'm single, i know :/) and i can't stop with it though



cheers o/How come am I single?
Maybe tone down the ********* a tad?

It's not a bad thing at all!

Just too much can turn a girl away.How come am I single?
you seem like a great guy :)

just wait one day pretty soon some girl will realize that your a great person
your old go to some clubs im 12 and i had 8 girlfriend in my life

automatic weapons for hunting

How do can we fix our relationship?

My boyfriend is going through a tough time. he gets paid once a month and when his money is all gone he'll ask me for it. I told him I could give him what I can. I only work 10 hours a week so I really don't get that much money. If i have some extra money ill suggest on us going on a date like the movies or dinner, but he rather stay in. If he bails (which is 80% of the time) then i'll go to the club with my friends. but he gets mad that i go. Last friday i wanted to go out but he didn't want to. his friends call and said they got some beer or weed and he was right over there but rather not be with me. We got into a big arguement over it.He says with the money i spending on movies and dinner i could give to him or buy groceries and cook. We haven't talked since then. When i call his house his mother says he isn't there and he has yet to return my calls.

i don't know what to do about us. we have this argument all the time but we always get over it. but now i feel like my work in this 3 year relationship is going unappreciated. it was so much better in the beginning. I love him so much and i know he loves me but should i continue on with this?How do can we fix our relationship?
I live with my girlfriend and support the both of us. (she is in college right now) Girls are girls and boys are boys - She likes spending money on clubbing, movies, going out. I like spending money on beer, weed, and things like make chilling at home even nicer. Sounds the same as your situation. The only difference is we see eachother every day since we live together, regardless if we plan to do something together or not. So she really isn't bothered that I don't want to go out often, and in the same way, I'm not bothered that she uses my money for things she likes to do.



You can work this out, but you both have to be understanding of eachother's wants and needs. Sounds like you don't see eachother very often, so it could be a big problem that you can't agree on what to do.

What is the message behind theese poems?

Song by Aphra Behn



O Love! that stronger art than wine,

Pleasing delusion, witchery divine,

Wont to be prized above all wealth,

Disease that has more joys than health;

Though we blaspheme thee in our pain,

And of thy tyranny complain,

We are all bettered by they reign.





What reason never can bestow

We to this useful passion owe;

Loves wakes the dull from sluggish ease,

And learns a clown the art to please,

Humbles the vain, kindles the cold,

Makes misers free, and cowards bold;

鈥橳is he reforms the sot from drink,

And teaches airy fops to think.





When full brute appetite is fed,

And choked the glutton lies and dead,

Thou new spirits dost dispense

And 鈥檉inest the gross delights of sense:

Virtue unconquerable aid

That against Nature can persuade,

And makes a roving mind retire

Within the bounds of just desire;

Cheerer of age, youth kind unrest,

And half the heaven of the blest!





Variations on the Word Love





This is a word we use to plug

holes with. It's the right size for those warm

blanks in speech, for those red heart-

shaped vacancies on the page that look nothing

like real hearts. Add lace

and you can sell

it. We insert it also in the one empty

space on the printed form

that comes with no instructions. There are whole

magazines with not much in them

but the word love, you can

rub it all over your body and you

can cook with it too. How do we know

it isn't what goes on at the cool

debaucheries of slugs under damp

pieces of cardboard? As for the weed-

seedlings nosing their tough snouts up

among the lettuces, they shout it.

Love! Love! sing the soldiers, raising

their glittering knives in salute.



Then there's the two

of us. This word

is far too short for us, it has only

four letters, too sparse

to fill those deep bare

vacuums between the stars

that press on us with their deafness.

It's not love we don't wish

to fall into, but that fear.

this word is not enough but it will

have to do. It's a single

vowel in this metallic

silence, a mouth that says

O again and again in wonder

and pain, a breath, a finger

grip on a cliffside. You can

hold on or let go.



Margaret AtwoodWhat is the message behind theese poems?
POETRY ANALYSIS.



You won鈥檛 need all of these links but it is a good selection of sites that help to analyse poetry:



How to Read a Poem



http://www.shmoop.com/poetry/how-to-read鈥?/a>



Poetry Revision



http://www.poetryexpress.org/



===================================



http://www.shmoop.com/poetry/study-guide鈥?/a>



http://www.sparknotes.com/poetry/



http://www.tnellen.com/cybereng/37.html



http://www.poetrymagic.co.uk/critiquing.鈥?/a>



http://www.tnellen.com/cybereng/analysis鈥?/a>



http://rpo.library.utoronto.ca/display/i鈥?/a>



http://www.newi.ac.uk/englishresources/w鈥?/a>

Could you be ';The One';?

Part A



1) You must be born male. Sorry, no trannies, I'll need to see a birth certificate.

2) You must own something to wear to a formal reception.

3) You must not own or ever wear birkenstocks, crocs footwear or randy river jeans.

4) All your parts need to be in good working order, further testing will need to be conducted of course.

5) I can't accept a regular drug user. Despite BC culture, I am including weed.

6) You must own at least four collared dress shirts. You need to look presentable standing next to me.

7) Your height must be proportional to your weight using the standard AMA guidelines.

8) You have to have lived in America for at least two consecutive years.

9) You must have a photo which was taken in the last 3 months.

10) English must be your first language. Sorry, I'm not a part-time ESL teacher.



If you meet all of the requirements above then you may continue, if not, then you are now dismissed but thank you for applying to be my boyfriend.



Now: give yourself two points for each of the following criteria you meet



1) You have (or are working on) a post secondary degree.

2) You own a car and have a valid driver's license. Suspended for DUIs: minus 10 points.

3) You've never worn Ed Hardy, Affliction or any other Christian Audigier affiliated brand.

4) You follow at least one professional sport.

5) You have skills in bed. Not because you think you do, because your past experiences have told you.

6) You are not a born again Christian, Jehovah's Witness or any other kind of religious fanatic.

7) You have been to at least three countries outside of North America.

8) You don't need to call a handy man if something breaks around the house.

9) You know how to cook a meal for two.

10) You like stepping out of your bubble and trying new things like cuisine or bungee jumping.

11) You can make it through a romantic comedy without complaining (we don't have to tell your friends).

12) You have a great sense of humour. Are people laughing with you, or at you?

13) You can plan a good date without any help or advice from me. ';I don't know, what do you want to do'; isn't an answer.

14) You work out and enjoy being physically active. I hit the gym regularly, you should too.

15) You have a job that requires more than a high school diploma.

16) You ride a motorcycle. I love to go riding.

17) You have a 5 year goal.

18) You aren't afraid of being yourself, even if you have a dorky side.

19) You're competitive, and I don't mean you like to battle it out with your WoW buddies on the weekends.

20) You know how to dance.





If you have a score of 30+ then please contact me immediately. If you scored between 20-30 pts, you can contact me, but I don't have a lot of hope for our future relationship. If you did not score high enough, then please do not contact me, but if at some time in the future you are able to improve yourself and meet the minimum requirements, then you may re-apply.Could you be ';The One';?
Well, someone's not gonna get laid :)Could you be ';The One';?
I meet section A with a bonus of 24 points, Am I in? Yep, I'm pretty much perfect.
ok i am assuming your barlly 18
you're a b****
holy ****. control freak, desperate, bi tchy, and this is the saddest thing i have seen on yahoo answers. love isnt about advertising for the perfect person. (see above) its about seeing an imperfect person perfectly. and not being crazy and paranoid.

Seniors how do you spend your time?

Most of us dont spend all of our time on the computer, or sitting looking out the windows, I walk everyday, to the market, buy fresh produce, walk to the park, the lake, I do a lot of photography, my camera goes everywhere with me, I am constantly learning and studying Mandarin, I love to cook, so make all my meals from scratch. I love to garden, flowers and veggies, so several times a week in season mow my lawn, weed and I love raking leaves. I am once more spending from Sept to July living overseas and teaching/tutoring english and sight seeing etc



Swim as much as possible. I do a lot of my own home renovations, did the kitchen this past summer, built a deck and replaced part of the fence. Do a little work out, exercise routine everyday which includes hand held weights and resistence workout, I read a lot Try to keep up sailing when possible , I dont crew these days, I am just decorative :-)



Art galleries, music in the park, festvals, art in the park, etc



I used to love making jams and jellies but with just me it isnt worth the fuss and mess anymore..



I'm 58. Have a disability and chronic pain condition, so it isnt always easy to keep going, but the alternative of sitting down and quitting isnt acceptable IMO Of course I dont all of this everyday lol



How are all of you spending your time and what have you given up and why?Seniors how do you spend your time?
Well I am 70 and do pretty much of what you do except Mandarin and swimming..I arise at 5;46 and by 6am I am out the door and walk my five miles .I cook alot ,and love to bake,clean big home.I Pick up one of my grand daughters from HS .......walk my dog to dog park,Dabble a little on computer,go shopping with hubby...thrift stores.I also do extra walking on my tread mill. I really keep quite busy.I dont take any medications yet..and am in great health.......To the one that said 58 isnt a senior...yes it is begins at 55....good luck, good health to all of you..and God blessSeniors how do you spend your time?
You are right I spend a lot of time researching on my computer. I also like the outdoors, but my health hampers much of that. We also spend time researching different cultures, planning international trips, ect. We are considering traveling to South Viet Nam or China. We enjoy scheduling or days away, and find the cheapest prices for everything.
I am 62 and recently retired from my work. I have taken up wood carving because it is quite time-consuming and gives me a real feeling of accomplishment. Anyone can learn and you can spend small bits of time or huge chunks of time each day on a project. I found a wood carving group in my area that are more than willing to teach me.
You obviously aren't old ';Of course I dont all of this everyday lol';

if you were really old you would not have said ';lol'; or added Additional Details.

Who do you think you are fooling?

I wasnt born yesterday.
They are so wrong. They also think seniors are no longer interested in sex! LOL :%26gt;)
I can't walk much but I did manage to cut a tree down and take down the phone line today. I raked part of the back yard, my wife and I dug a few canna bulbs.

My friends knew me as being outside til dark. They wouldn't even come to the door if they didn't see me outside. Unfortunately that has changed. After todays encounter with the tree I probably won't be able to get out for at least a few days. I have some neurological problems with a spinal cord injury and people that don't know me are always grabbing me so I won't fall because of violent spasms. I can only tell them I am all right, I might not look good but I can still get it done, LOL!
How active a senior is depends entirely on how healthy one is. My aunt who is 75 can no longer do most of the things she did at 65. The poor soul is wracked with back pain has a bad heart and numerous other physical ailments. At 65 she did everything, cook, clean, yard work, gardening, walked the malls from one end to the other. Life was good, then the health began to fail and her life style changed completely.

So for those of you who are healthy and able, God bless and be ever thankful for that.
My house is clean! I remember when all 5 of the kids where home and my spouse and I both worked 40+ hours a week, it seemed like it was impossible to have a clean and organized home. Well, I'm almost there. There are a few corners that need to be dealt with, but for the most part my home is company ready at all times now.



I cook most of my meals from scratch, and experiment with new recipes.



I go to my oldest daughters home once a week and help her with housework, as she too has a large family. I never had outside help, and it makes her life a bit less stressful to come home to a clean house now and then. Something I never had that I'm able to gift to her.



I have two large, spoiled dogs that I walk often and take up a lot of time with.



I do spend several hours a day on my computer, but not all at once or I physically feel like crap. Because of my arthritis, I can't sit still for long.



I still do a little crafting now and then, my latest craft is candle making, and I still do flower arrangements.
Wonder why some younger folk think if we use ';LOL'; we are not older ?



Anyhoo - I don't do nearly as much as you isotope, but do work FT; drive for enjoyment [like the 'old' Sunday drives of yore';; travel extensively when I can afford it; read; constantly searching the internet as a learning tool; do part time life skills coaching in addition to my job; visit fairs, flea markets; go to the movies; dine with friends; walk when I can etc.
Since retirement, I do everything you do except studying Mandarin, gardening and traveling. I help to fund charitable organizations such as A.C.S., local hospitals and nursing care facilities, the SPCA, and children who are in need of clothing and financial help, instead of traveling. I frequently use the computer, cell phone, camera and I love the park, walks, lake and river fishing, low impact working out at the gym with weights, swimming, reading all kinds of factual information, current events, and helping other senior friends over 65. I still socialize regularly with friends and family members but I gave up jogging, jumping rope and parasailing due to knee replacement surgeries. I am busier since retirement than I was before it. We are not even remotely idle!
I just turned 60. I get up fairly early. I used to have all day to do whatever I wanted, but for 9 months our daughter and her 5 children are living with us. They are trying to sell their place in North/central Mississippi, and then she is getting married to her high school sweetheart. So, for the time being, they are with us, ex pays his BIG child support and spousal support (he decided he wanted to ';play'; and not be in a marriage anymore).

ANYWAY!! I have my coffee while sitting checking email and doing some website work on the computer. I take breaks to do laundry and floors, beds, etc.

Most days I did whatever. On Wednesday I have bible study, then lunch with the ladies. On Monday, Wednesday and Thursday nights I lead an exercise class at my church. We do Richard Simmons Sweatin to the oldies and other stuff.

On Tuesday morning I clean someone's house for pay. I also try to clean the Youth House (volunteer) once or twice a month. I also do a lot of cooking and cleaning. LOTS!!!

On most weekends, my friends and I go to the movies (just went yesterday to see George Clooney in The Men who Stare at Goats).

We go out often to have lunch, the spend afternoons together to play board games or Dominoes.

My husband and I go fishing in our boat, and we also go to movies and dinner. I love to shop.

Once a year I go to San Diego to visit our youngest and her husband. This past Feb I went on a Caribbean Cruise with 27 other ladies. OMG! A blast!

I do a lot of reading and am in a book review group called ';Lit %26amp; Latte';. We read a book (Christian fiction) once a month and get together to discuss it.

I love to travel and plan on doing a lot more. I just wish my husband would love it too, but he lets me go with my friends.

I am a Past Queen, and a 5 year member of the RED HAT SOCIETY. We have lots of fun together. We do scavenger hunts, parties, White Elephants, BIG Christmas parties, etc.

No sitting by the window with nothing to do just yet! Although I love sitting outside on my patio on my swing doing my bible study or just reading. I like to go to the beach as much as I can. I love swimming and just being in the water.
I have very good help on the Fritter Ranch so what I don't get done gets done anyway. I milk a cow lots of mornings and evenings but if I am away or occupied there is some one to handle the chore. I think the exercise is good for me. Taking care of the chickens and gathering the eggs is my Sweeties pleasure so I leave that to her most of the time . If she is busy in the house I will take care of them or the help will, We all work pretty hard but I don't really do like I used to. Kinda slowing down a bit I guess, I don't admit to that very readily but I guess the only one that I am fooling is myself. I do love to saddle my horse and spend an afternoon checking things out in one of the pastures. I can spend the whole afternoon just riding in one pasture so I could stay pretty busy just doing that. My Sweetie insist that I carry a cell phone with me, so I do. That kinda spoils the ambiance a bit but she is pretty adamant about this so I sacrifice some of my independence. We both go to town together when we do and it is nice to see a few folks around the town. I just as soon not go but my Sweetie doesn't like to go by herself so I go along. We must keep an eye on the fences and especially those that run along the county road in my front pasture. That in itself is a pretty steady task.

I enjoy taking a 22 cal. rifle and just walking and kicking around out in the pastures, I kill the skunks when I see one because they help themselves to a chicken whenever they can. I'll shoot every Rattlesnake I see but the rest of the snakes I don't bother. Rattlesnakes are the only poisonous ones that I see out here.
My day starts at 5:30 a.m. My son and d.i.l. are divorcing and he has custody of the kids. He leaves for work at 6:30 a.m.and I'm at their house getting kids up and ready for school digging through closets and drawers for proper clothes. I have a van and load up all the neighborhood kids that need rides and deliver everyone and back home at 8:15. Pick up at my son's house and put a load of clothes in washer and put away the ones in the dryer! Come to my house and do my chores and wait for calls from the school that one of my 5 grandkids has a problem (sick or forgot books) so I resolve it!! When they have Dr.'s appointments I take them because my daughter works full time!! After 6:30 p.m. I have my life back!! But I love it and people tell me I will be rewarded for stepping up to the plate with all my back and shoulder problems but I have answers from that man upstairs that always comes to my rescue!!! Wouldn't trade it for a farm in Texas!!
sleeping 6 hours a day. in the summer I watch my grass grow and keep the pool clean and do all minor maintenance around the house and at the cabin up north. In the winter I watch it snow and plow it when needed. Oh, yeah I am on the computer most of the time when I ain't doing the above. Also have to take the time to go see all my doctors for health reasons. That is usually every 4 - 6 months.
58 is not a '; Senior '; but close . I am only 51 ( 52 in 10 days) but I was passed some genetically bad problems that hit about 2 years ago. %26amp; can't sit for more than 20 minutes without back spams, %26amp; severe pain. My typing horrible due to severe Arthritis . Corrections take longer than the answer takes.. cleaning a Kitchen after a meal that used to take 15 minutes is now a 2 hour ordeal. That I sometimes give up on. until '; Tomorrow'; .. %26amp; I HATE IT!! I can not sleep in my bed for a full night due to severe curvature %26amp; degenerated disks in my spine. I am not allowed to drive because of my knees giving out due to Rheumatoid arthritis %26amp; the same in my hands . My Garden has gone to weeds. %26amp; I cry daily because of who I once was %26amp; what I could do. Writing a letter looks like someone 90 wrote it %26amp; I used to write beautifully ( everyone used to ask me to write things for them because I penned very well) I was %26amp; and still am a fighter for what is right . But I can no longer get out there %26amp; stand up for it ..

You are very Blessed dear lady.. I only wish I could be the I was 2 years ago..

But I do Say Those of YOU that can %26amp; are not redundant or Idle You are becoming the masses for the future %26amp; God Bless %26amp; keep you as Strong as you are *