Am I just being a spaz about things?

Okay I'm just going to get to the point right away-Me and my husband have been together for 10 years now.I'm sick of doing everything around the house.I do stay home now because we can't afford daycare till our youngest daughter goes to preschool this year,so I watch 5 kids right now trying to bring something in so I feel like I am helping out in some way.But I am excepted to cook,clean the whole house,keep the yard work going with mowing and weed eating,I fix stuff around the house all the time by myself unless my friends come over and they will help out,I do all the house cleaning,to get him to do anything I have to ask then it ends up being a big fight cause I have to jump him about doing the smallest thing like taking trash out or to help with anything and I am so tired of it.I'm not suppose to be doing to much due to medical problems but it seems not to bother him.My question is I need some advice on how to get him to help out more or am I in the wrong for wanting some help?Am I just being a spaz about things?
Go totally against him without even telling him... First of all, look for free daycare (check out state aid help)...Get your kids in that, then go find a job wherever u can wether it be McDonalds or a car-wash... And then u just might find your sanity again... Aint no man ever gonna friggin control me like that.. Oh, and one more tip: DON'T HAVE ANY MORE KIDS.... It's like a ball and chain, and every kid u have is another 500lb ball added to that chain!Am I just being a spaz about things?
No he should want to help but he is bringing home the money and you are not. Ask him if that is what he is thinking.
hire a landscaper.

then, hire a maid to come and help you 2x a week.

let him pay for it.
you need to take the day off. i say you one day just take care of your kids and force him to make his own dinner and do his own laundry and stuff and then take a nap, he shoulnt have it so easy
You have to ask him without jumping down his throat. He probably is getting defensive because you snap at him about it (what women hasn't?). But I'll telling you, you'll catch a lot more flies with honey.



I would just try to tell him that you guys both have full time jobs, and you're getting very stressed out with all of the household chores. Once he starts helping, praise him tremendously. He'll know you're grateful and want to help when he's being ';rewarded'; with your praise and affection. It worked for me!
your not wrong for asking for help just have a really big talk with him on how you are feeling and maybe he will understand. it is wrong that u have to do so much and he probably justs sits around and does nothing. Ask him for little help! Baby steps at a time.
i agree wit Dove he may be thinking since he works and pay the bill he doesn't have to ask him
You're not wrong. You need a wife! Most guys at least will take responsibility for the yard work. I'd suggest going on strike for awhile, if you can stand it, and leave it to him to pick up the slack. Check out the link below for a different suggestion.
no you are not wrong i am going threw the same thing... tell him to get it threw his thick little head that he has a responsibility to you and your children. stop making him dinner and get the house spotless... once it is spotless every single little thing that he puts out of place run after him and make him pick it up!!! it sucks but it is working for me so far!



good luck this one isn't easy :)
You are right, he should help out. Next time he gives you any grief about helping out at home why not break down what his cost would be if he had to hire someone else to do what you do. You may not be bringing home a pay check but I guarantee your job is definitely more important (raising children) than any job out there.
I want to stay home during the day w/my daughter AND hire a cleaning service and I only have 1 kid to clean up after. So you can tell what I'd say about your situation.



You probably get no time to yourself and I don't think you're being a spaz. He needs to let you go to a movie or do something for yourself on the weekend and then maybe you wouldn't be as bothered by all the housework.
My advice is to quit watching other people's kids. You shouldn't feel the need to contribute financially to the household if you are the only doing any home maintenance. He apparently feels that his only responsibility is to be the bread winner. That's fine. Let him win the bread. You take care of your child only, and live without the added income. Good grief girl, give yourself a break!!
Speaking as a couples therapist, you're likely performing a 80-100 per week job, and you wonder why you're dissatisfied? You're raising FIVE kids, doing all the housework, have no time for your own needs, and you're suffering from medical issues? Wow, you deserve a medal!



You must renegotiated the roles in your marriage, or else this will snowball until you snap and want out. Calculate the hours; prove to him he needs to step up and help. It also helps if he respects your accomplishments.



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