I feel so lost, and confused?... What can I do with my life, and her?

This is in some way certain type of rant.



I feel depressed, my step mother is very violent, and in the past used to child abuse me. My father back then wasn't Christian and had always sided with her at the time, and even helped her abuse or ';teach me lessons by violently using golf clubs/other tools like metal coat hanger, and shovel';.



I used to smoke alot of weed to get over how sometimes my life really felt out of place. All of my friends who I thought were the cool people were the shallow people, and once I partied so many times with them, they just stop talking to me, and ignores me, only a few actually got in contact with me.



As for my ex, she broke it off with me. Saying she just thought wouldn't it best if we were friends, and alot of things in her life, I walked her home drunk once, saying no one cared about her.



She told me she still liked me, but she isn't too committed cause she moves alot. She says she wants to be friends, and keep in touch. But after I given her the no contact, she had tried to ask about me from her friend, saying if I was still as hot, or if I still forgiven her cause she thought I was mad at her.



We both settled our differences. Now in a few years of physical fighting my father/stepmother might actually get divorced. Alot of drama.



I recently got a job to become line cook at this grill, and am learning knife cutting techniques. I also attained a server job at cheesecake factory and must pass the exam at the end of training. But I feel so depressed, even though I know how insignificant my problems are compared to Haiti/African children. I've donated to them in the last week 40 dollars, and I have no idea how to sympathize with their anguish, but I feel so depressed, so out of it, I just want to sleep. Forever, I just want to be able to have perfect life where my parents aren't so messed up, my ex still likes me, and I get successful.I feel so lost, and confused?... What can I do with my life, and her?
its probably tough now but things will get betterI feel so lost, and confused?... What can I do with my life, and her?
you sound like u had alot of dissapointment in your life but dont lose heart hang in there your day will come soon