How much does your husband/bf do aroung the house?

I am 26 weeks pregnant (today) and he won't do anything! He comes home from work and plops down, pulls his socks off, and askes whats for dinner, and can you fix me a drink! I have to do everything inside, from picking up (including his socks), cleaning, and cooking (he had a fit once when I asked him to stick a frozen lazana in the oven cus I was working a little late). If I ask him to do anything he says he is too tired from work, which granted he works from 6-5/6 usually, and I work just 40 hrs a week.


He does do all of the yard work except for weeding (thats womens work) and keeps our back porch cleaned off, but I am so frustrated. Growing up my dad helped with the housework and every bf I have had before has been a cleaner/cooker. He shared a house with his mom and she would do everything for him, even made his bed every morning!


Is this normal?


When I first got preg. he did help out some but now the novelty has worn off I guess...How much does your husband/bf do aroung the house?
My husband does a LOT, in my opinion.





I do all the cooking (from scratch), and wash the dishes half the time. I pick up things here and there, and do laundry sometimes.





My husband rarely cooks, but would if I asked him to.


He does most of the laundry now, since my tummy is too big to reach down into the washer, but I still do some laundry.





My husband does all the vaccuuming, mopping, and bathroom cleaning.





He helps with changing diapers on our toddler.





We live in an apartment, so he doesn't have any yard work to do, but he runs all the errands if I ask him to.





If he wants a ';drink';, he gets it himself. I don't drink, and I would prefer that he not drink at all, but his having one drink a week won't kill him (or me).





My husband would never throw a fit about having to help prepare dinner. He's a good guy





I would suggest that you start cutting back on the stuff you do, and that if he gets upset, that he'll need to start helping out a little more. You are still quite early in your pregnancy, but it isn't going to get any easier bending down to pick up socks.





(My husband throws his clothing in all corners of our house when he gets home from work, and I know he is exhausted. He works in a physical job. However, seeing socks on the floor doesn't bother me at all.





If your husband starts getting mad that his socks are still on the floor after 3 days, then just tell him that he needs to put them in the laundry basket the MOMENT he takes them off.





I get stressed very easily, so I choose not to worry about the ';small stuff';....socks are just that.





I am sorry that your husband isn't helping more. Yard work is a big big job, but he might not understand pregnancy. Does he go to your prenatal visits with you? Maybe if you could talk to your obgyn ahead of time, and get the obgyn to just say a couple words to your husband about the fact that you have certain conditions right now that might make him have to take on a little extra responsibility.





I personally love to cook for my husband, so that doesn't bother me. However, I am a terrible housekeeper, and if my husband doesn't get too upset about it, I won't get too upset when he's too tired to clean too.





Your husband DOES dirty the house up, as much as you (and the rest of the family?), so he needs to get out of his 1950's stereotype of the little ';homemaker';.





Maybe he would have more energy if he didn't drink right after work too?





Hang in there, but try to resolve part of the dispute before you get huge, and it becomes more of an issue.How much does your husband/bf do aroung the house?
talk to his mommy.
he does nothing.. but then im in the house all day while hes out working, so i have the time and he doesnt, nd he works really hard for both of us and deserves to put his feet up!!


well actually... he does most of the cooking as he would most likely end up with food poisoning if i did!! lol!!


he doesnt expect me to do it all, but i have it done by the time he gets home so theres not much he can do about it!!





why on earth did i get thumbs down for saying my own experience? oookaaay then!
Wow! My husband has been really helpful. I have not been feeling really well and he has been going to work from 6:30 (he gets up at 5:30) and works till got 6-8 sometimes.... He still comes home and helps me clean dishes. He's not a really good cook but he tries. I would have a talk with him.... whats going to happen when the baby gets here.... will it be the same thing?!?!?
I could see his point if you were home alone all day and not working. But you are contributing to the household income too, so you absolutely do need help around the house. He was raised to think certain things are done by the woman, and some things are done by the man.





If I were you, I would tell him that I need his help. If he refused, I would only clean up after myself and prepare things only for myself. I've done it before with my husband, and he got the message. He's fantastic at helping out now.





Good luck, and rest as much as possible before the wee one comes!
I would absolutely go nuts at my husband if he where like that! You ar working full time Plus your pregnant, it seems even worse as you'd be exhausted all the time! Maybe you have to start getting firmer with him as that is pure laziness (sorry to be harsh about him), if you are working he should do half of the house work, inside and out.....I would put my foot down as he seems to be taking advantage of you. Good luck!!!
You know what stop doing it all. Dont cook for him and wait on him. Dont pick up after him. When he asks for his dinner tell him to make his own. Mairrage is for 2 people. If he doesnt want to help than maybe he shouldnt be married its only going to get worse when the baby comes. Stand up for your self and DONOT be his maid. And dont give him any either I promise when you are too tired for sex because you are constanly working, cooking, and cleaning he will help out or do with out
I have the most wonderful husband in the world.





He helps me with everything - dishes, laundry - you name it. He does the vacuuming and washes the floors once a week for me.





We cook together, shop together and everything - I'm 33 weeks pregnant now and he's stepped up even further to help me out around the house.





Sometimes I think when they made him, they broke the mold.
Trust me, I know how irritating it can be. Remind him that you work too and that you are also a little busy creating another human life inside of your own body. Seriously though, this is the way that he has been conditioned. It sounds like he grew up with one of ';those'; moms that taught him that women do everything in the house so that he can relax and enjoy life. While that's all sunshine and daisies to his mother, that's not how you were brought up. Its a common ground that the two of you are going to have to come to. One of MANY compromises within a marriage.





The two of you need to have a serious sit down talk. Let him know how frustrated you are. Let him know that you try to understand that he works longer hours, but that in no way justifies him doing absolutely NO housework. It may take a few long talks, but hopefully you'll be able to establish a fair agreement. If he's convinced that its ';woman's work'; though and he shouldn't even bother lifting a finger, then more serious steps may be needed, such as marriage counseling. Did you not realize he was this way when you first got together? I could never marry a man that had the ';women should be in the home'; mentality.





(On a side note: when we both worked, the housework was split up almost 50/50. Now that I'm a full-time stay-at-home-mom, I do most of the house work, but he still cooks dinner every night, does all the laundry and takes the trash out to the curb. He also empties the dishwasher because I hate doing that.)
He sounds like an ***.





My fiance does dishes, laundry (including the folding and putting away the clothes) trash, kitchen, office AND Litterbox. I do the bathroom, bedroom, livingroom, vaccuming, and feeding our animals. We take turns cooking. We definately share the household responsibilities. I swear, if I ever get pregnant, he won't let me lift a finger.





Tell your boyfriend to grow up and stop being so lazy. If you both work, and you share the home, than you share the responsibilities that come with it. There is no such thing as


'women's work'
hmm...well, let's see - everything my wife and I do, we do together - and i mean everything - dishes, laundry, grocery shopping, cleaning, cooking





sounds like your man needs to get off his duff and help around the house
my husband is the same but his mum ran round stupid after his dad so he assumed i would be the same he does hoover once in a while do the dishes if im working late


my mother in law said to me she is shocked i dont have his tea waitng on the table for him when he comes in


im not his frigging maid.


and i dont remember there being anything in our vows which ment i was his servant.





a leporad never changes his spots get use to it.
You didn't train him properly to begin with. My husband knows if he wants something done he better do it himself.
There are a few men out there who are truly equal partners in a marriage, but most are not. They help some, but definitely overemphasize how much they help. As in ';I do so much around here, I feel like a girl now!'; when in reality they're doing about 10% if even that.





My DH is the worst. He does help some, but it's not nearly enough. I work 60 hours a week and have our child with me at my business. I work all weekend and he's off. So what does he do? He says ';it's too difficult watching her to do anything.';





So when I get home from work, I'm left cleaning the rest of the day. Then he bitches when I'm tired from working all day and cleaning all night.





I'm telling you. If men could learn ONE THING from this question it's this: HELP OUT MORE AROUND THE HOUSE. THE MORE YOU DO FOR YOUR WIFE/GIRLFRIEND THE MORE LOVING SHE WILL BE TOWARDS YOU. It shows her you love her and care about her. Also, it's difficult to be romantic when you're so dang tired from working %26amp; cleaning while they sit on their butt.





I hear ya. I did learn a few years ago that most men are like that. They think they help out but don't help much. Just accept your husband the way he is or have him pay for a maid. You both work, surely you can afford it?





Good luck.
i really don't no what 2 say. if i was u i'd sit at home all day doing nothing. he'd get the picture. tell him u need help. i mean yeah he works and u don't, but u have a baby inside and thats working hard. how about this u do the light stuff like making da bed and dusting,let him mop the floor and take out the trash. tell him u want a 50/50 thing
oh wow I would kill him.. before i got preggo with this one he did the same thing, but since about 7 months pregnant he tells me to go lay down, my ony real responsibility is go to work and make dinner for him and our 4 year old, he gets home right before me so I usually find the house cleaned, or picked up, candles lit (i love the smell when i walk in) and him on the couch just waiting... it is sooo sweet.. oh and we basically have a deal I cook you wash dishes that way I am not on my feet for tooo long... I love the hubby!
Wow...he sounds like a bit of a chauvinist pig to me!! My partner's been great with helping around the house since I found out we are expecting....and I know I'm very lucky! I wash our clothes and clean ('cos I enjoy it!) and he does all the tidying, hoovering, dishes and makes dinner most nights as he's in before me....he also does the food shopping on a Sunday himself as I'm working!! One lucky girl here!!





If I were you I'd go on strike!!
For the most part, I am expected to do everything. Though, he will help out if he gets sick of the mess. lol. I'm not the best cleaner in the world. Besides, I'm also taking care of 3 kids all day. My husband does the yard work and snow removal as well. He'll cook if I need him to, load the dishwasher if I ask. Generally, he's quite agreeable but the housework is still my job. When I was pregnant, I wasn't allowed to carry the laundry up or down. Our bathroom and bedrooms are on the second floor and the washer is in the basement. He was concerned I would fall or hurt myself if I did that, so he said he'd carry it for me. Other than that, I can't remember any special treatment when I was pregnant. Good luck with your man! Ask him for help. At least he helps, even if he is grumbling about it.
What a jerk!! Obviously this guy has no idea how hard it is to be pregnant...and work...and take care of a house! Well anyway you can, you need to resolve this issue NOW! because it sounds like this is your first baby, and I can tell you, that neither of you truly know how much work a new baby is!!! You are really going to need his help taking care of not only your new little one, but also with other errands and chores around the house! It is too much for you to work, take care of a newborn, take care of the house and cook! You will be worn so thin!! Your husband is lazy if he thinks that working is soooo ';hard';, he has no idea and maybe to show him what life would be like without you doing everything, you need to stop doing it! Stop picking up after him, stop making him dinner, and stop straightening up around the house, when all of these ';luxuries'; suddenly aren't there anymore and he has to do them, he will realize how much work it is! I have been very lucky, my husband is wonderful and not only does he take care of our 8 month old daughter, he also does laundry and dishes, and all the ';yard'; stuff. Now he doesn't cook at all, but he claims it is because he doesn't know how :- ) but he is so helpful with everything else that I don't mind!
Ya this sounds pretty ';typical';. The man I live with is the same way and I'm 38 weeks along. You know what? I do what I can and when I can get it done too. If I can't then I don't do it.





You both work. In his mind I'm sure he thinks ';his job is harder';. He has no idea. That's because he's had a mother take care of everything for him for x amount of years right? exactly. The guy hasn't lived alone obviously nor has he learned ';responsibility';.





If you think it's bad now wait til the baby is born. You'll have double the fun like one poster said. I'd tell him to get off his ';a**'; %26amp; help if he doesn't want to be paying child support eventually. Tell him you're unhappy and sick of it. Make sure you mean it and if you do, that you'll follow through if he does nothing to help further.





I'm sorry you're going through this. You're not alone trust me. This is why my mother had only one child and my cousin's wife had no children (and eventually left him too). My mother is terribly unhappy in the household. So am I right now but you know what!! Whatever. And men wonder why we become ';men haters';. Figure that one out. LOL
I would be extremely hard to be with a man like that. I like to cook for my boyfriend and I like to clean on the weekends but not everyday.





Anyway, I guess he is use to being taken care of by his mom. Some men just never grow up.
We live in a modern society where women now have two roles, housekeeping and working. I firmly believe the roles should be shared. Tell him how you feel, try not to act like your on his case but that you need his help.


If he doesn't get the message, put it down on paper. Write a list of what you both do and way it up. Visually being able to see how much each of you do should hopefully show each other if the work load is fair or not.


It worked for me my partner, he is very helpful, but the fact the housekeeping needs to be equal has always been clear.
I do most of the housework since I work 2 days a week to his 5 days a week, but he doesn't have a problem helping me. I have been very ill during my pregnancy so far, and he has helped out even more. One thing I like about him is that he doesnt believe in ';man's'; or ';women's'; work. I know that if I were the one to work more, he would be the one doing more of the housework. But we do it as a team, know it has to get done, and dont fight about it. Teamwork, respect, and seeing each other as an equal person is what makes a marriage stable. Neither of us would have it any other way.
I hate to say this but I guess I never realized how much my guy does around the house,until now! So try talking to him but, this cant be something new. You must have known this is who he was before you got pregnant. Hopfully things will get a lil better but once this babies out it will be way more hetic. Also as for his mom being his caretaker, mine is in the same boat but he's getting alot better, and takes care of me and my baby. Now this may wear off once the babies born but it's not his mom's fault. He needs to want to do housework, maybe he can do them once a month.
I personally hat housework. I'm a married guy. But, due to cancer and heart attacks I'm disabled and cannot work. My wife works at a pharmacy 7 days on and 7 off. My mother-in-law lives with us. My wife made a deal with me. I have to do dishes (we have a dishwasher so it's just putting dirty ones in and taking clean ones out), keep kitchen clean, floor, too. I vacuum the downstairs every other day, help with the laundry and cooking. I sometimes do the grocery shopping. I take care of the yard....well, I mow and we share the rest and I help with the mother-in-law. I'm not always perfect about my share, but, I try. It really helped when she made a list so I could actually SEE what she expected of me. It's not that bad, really. Maybe your husband needs a list? Be fair and make one and tell him you need help with those things. Be strong like Janie my wife and don't let up on him. If your list is fair he'll eventually do it. I did. And I hate housework. Good luck! If I can do it so can he!
I'm spoiled...My husband waits on me hand and foot, even if it is right after work. He at least asks me if he can sit and relax for a few minutes before he does anything. Which is totally fine with me.


Usually, I am the one who initiates the cleaning though, go figure. Haha! We have our bad days, though. There will be days where I'm not in the best of moods and it rubs off on him and he gets mad and is stubborn about getting something if I ask.


My husband works almost 14 hour shifts in the Marine Corps, and his job is not the easiest, most of the time he wants to go straight to bed after getting home; but he knows I am busy with school since I am getting my doctorate in Radiology and Cancer Prevention and I also work at a hospital, I am also preggo.





Your guy sounds a bit stubborn, but maybe work really wears him out at the end of the day. What I do when I clean, I usually clean one area every day and when when we use the area, we just be sure to clean up after we're done with it.


If I clean the kitchen one day, I ask my husband to do his part in helping keeping it clean. Just like the laundry...Instead of letting it pile up, I wash clothes every three days...This way I don't have to pile up all my laundry into one day. We also have a maid and she comes every other weekend. She's a bit expensive, considering we live in LA and the maids don't come cheap; but having a maid come at least once a month makes a big difference. It also gives you a head start on keeping the house clean longer.
My fiance works between 45-60 hour weeks. I work between 24-34 depending on my work schedule. I'm pretty much the one that maintains the house since I work less, but he does his part. (Even if he didn't, I wouldn't complain too much. He pays the bills!) Last night he randomly cleaned out and organized all the cupboards, and he'll clean up after himself. But usually, if I'm home, I'll cook dinner and clean the house and vacuum and all that stuff. He helps me with the laundry since it's difficult to bend over. I wake up the same time he does and go to bed the same time that he does.





Your boyfriend clearly is used to having everything done for him. Regardless of whether or not he works 12 hour days, he needs to be able to clean up after himself. Remind him that you're tired and as well as working you're busy growing a human! Tell him you need help.
Bless your heart! My husband is absolutely wonderful! He does EVERYTHING! Especially now that I am pregnant, he doesn't like me to help around the house, he tells me: ';It's ok honey, go sit down, I've got it!'; He's always been like that though, not just because I'm pregnant, he's really picky about his house work and he is constantly going. He can't stand for anything to be messy or out of place. He does all the cleaning, laundry, dishes (although I try to sneak in there and get them done before he notices) and did I mention he does ALL the cooking! He loves it! I know, I have a deam husband, he's the most amazing man in the world. I don't know anyone else like him, I definately got lucky. I wish you all could have husbands like I do. I am never letting him go!
Being a working mom is a lot of sacrifice. I understand, women need extra hands in your situation. But we just can't have what we need at times because of financial considerations. It is good though that you aren't having a hard time with pregnancy except for the house chores and serving your husband's needs. Look at it the other way - the chores you do would substitute for the little exercise pregnant women need; serving your husband is living up to your vows as a wife. Yes, it is normal for most women to be doing what you do now, in that situation. Though some men would do more around the house when their wives are pregnant, specially those with delicate pregnancy.





Sitting and spending a little time with your hubby is precious time for your relationship. Its that little time that connects you to each other after a whole day's work. It means to me that he still cares, just that he wasn't used to doing chores at home. That's a lot better than ';cheating'; on you. And, he may be working harder because of the upcoming baby's needs. That tires him a lot.





So put up a positive outlook for your situation. You're still better of than some women whose husbands cheat on them


when they are pregnant, because their wives cannot serve their needs when pre-occupied with their pregnancy and house chores.





Good luck, take good care of the baby no matter how busy you are.
My husband is great!! He helps around the house, helps take care of the other kids, does all the yard work (unless I feel the need to get out of the house), works 50-60 hours a week outside and takes care of the animals. There are only a few things that my husband doesn't like doing and they are the dishes and laundry. He will rinse the dishes and stack them in the sink and he folds laundry and puts it away ( he says he doesn't want to wash it in fear of dying something. LOL) Now don't take this the wrong way, I do stay at home and clean the house and all that, but when he is home he helps out with it all. My husband loves to cook, but he gets home late so he usually only cooks on the weekends.





I know a couple of guys like this and I don't think there is really anything you can do to change them. One guy I know is so bad that he is 32 years old and still lives with his mother. She does everything for him including laying out his clothes and waking him up to go to work. She even pays his bills including his child support.





I would say that if he can't get off his butt and help out with things and talking to him doesn't work, leave him. You don't need 2 kids to take care of. A newborn will be enough work!!! If you leave that might be a wake up call for him! GOOD LUCK!!
I have to admit that my husband is pretty helpful around the house. He helps out a lot with laundry which is so nice, although he pulls the clothes out of the dryer and plops them on the floor, but hey at least they get clean. On his days off he helps around the house, picking up and things like that. I've noticed that there is times where he really helps and times that he won't do a thing (normally when he's really stressed). I've also noticed that whenever I ask him to do anything, well if I complain a little, he won't do a thing. If I don't say anything, he'll automatically help me, so I just say thank him for the help and tell him I appreciate. But I grew up in a house where my father never did a thing, except his own work, so it's quite a change. I guess it depends on the guy and how they were raised. Like my husbands mom is obsessive compulsive with cleaning so my husband has to have things clean, which is such a good thing. I can't believe your husbands mom did everything for him. Why is it that with boys usually mom's baby them more. Or at least I've seen that working with kids. I guess all we can do is teach our kids to pick up after themselves and to help out around the house.