How do get him to see that 'his way' isn't the 'right way'?

so I am expected to do it ALL....

my hubby doesn't think thaking care of my son properly is a full time job. He thinks that ontop of doing 99% of the child care and ALL of the cooking and shoping I should do ALL of the house work, and take care of the HUGE garden. weather its all done or not he says I sit at home on my butt all day!!! My son is one of the most happy babies ever and I dedicate 100% of my time to him when he is awake, I don't care what I have to do I want him to be as happy as possible. I'm not going to ignore him to get stuff done! I also prepare all of our food (babies included) from scratch, I buy loafs of bread and some cereal and milk but eveything else is made by me, snacks, juice, breads (to go with supper) everything. I get $hit on for wanting him to watch HIS son while I pull weeds or go to do the shopping, I don't get appreciated for what I do I am so frusterated! have any of you delt with this before?How do get him to see that 'his way' isn't the 'right way'?
Wow, I am so sorry for you. You need to sit down and talk with your husband...or have him take over for a week to see if he could handle such a load...



I don't remotely have your problem. My husband is the most giving, compassionate man on earth. His and my priority is our child. I could literally sit around playing with our child all day long, and my husband could care less....he can do his onw laundry, food, and housework. I didn't quit my job to become a maid, I quit to become a mommy....you need to remind your husband of that.How do get him to see that 'his way' isn't the 'right way'?
Sounds like an overbearing man!! Some might say this is mental abuse.
yeah, why dont you go out for a whole day- make up some huge reason. my fiance has to watch my son every once in a while about 8 hours a day on the weekend and he sue to say this until he stopped getting help with it, then he started saying thank you to me and calling me super mom lol
When he gets home from work, just leave. Don't say a word, just physically hand off the baby and go. Stay gone for at least 4 hours, if not longer, and let him SEE what it's like to sit on your butt with an infant around.



After that, you need to have a long discussion and TELL, not ask, him that he is going to start helping you. If that doesn't work, just start doing enough around the house for the baby. Keep the baby's space clean, make baby food and do the baby's laundry. Do nothing for your husband until he realizes that you are his wife, not his mommy.
I think alot of guys are like this I know my husband is. Sometimes I will be doing something and the baby starts acting up or needs changing or fed and Im like can you get that and he will say please no I just got off work or something like that it makes me so mad. I would like him to stay at home with her all day but then I probley wouldnt ever get anymore kids LOL.
Well, was he like this before the baby came? Does he think women and men have specific roles? Or is it only because you don't have a job outside the house.



I would suggest seeing a marriage counselor. Obviously, talking to him isn't going to help and your anger and frustration is only going to build. Counseling could really help him see all you have to do and what is going on in his head. He probably feels that he works all day and deserves a break. I know you do too, I'm just saying, that is how he probably sees it.



My husband and I have always split chores/household duties. Therefore, when the baby comes, it will stay the same. I have a feeling you did everything before the baby came and now with the added stress of a child, you are realizing you can't do it all on your own.



good luck!
If you're asking what I would do...I would leave. Tell him can find out what its like when you have joint custody and he has to take care of his baby alone every other weekend. Honestly guys like this need to be jerked back to reality and it may take a little threatening to do it. He probably treats you that way b/c he thinks he can and that you will take it. So show him that you won't.
Just STOP doing anything around the house, don't have his meals prepared, don't wash his clothes ... take care of the baby and that's it!! Then see if he thinks you sit on your a** all day!!



Realistically, if you try to talk to him and nothing works..are you close with his mom?? Sometimes mother-in-laws can work magic w/ their sons..sometimes they can't..just depends on the mother-in-law you have!!
That is the life of a stay at home mom. I take care of baby, cleaning, meals, Emma's babyfood is also homemade, and I hoe out, pick, and put up the garden food. Hubby will help if he has time after getting home (we are building our house so he is usually doing that in the evening). He tills the garden and helped plant it, but thats about it. I am also pregnant. I just consider it my job, but I probably have a better attitude about because if I asked for his help he would give it to me.