How do I convince my husband that home schooling our only daughter will give her advantages...?

My husband and I get along like best friends, we can talk about anything and agree except on this one issue.


He keeps coming back will a one-liner argument


';I think she needs to go to school and be a normal kid';. He thinks she won't have friends, a myth, but it's better to have a few good friends than dozens of superficial pretenders.


I've done hours of research and pray for guidance continuously and have my own case against public schooling, but he isn't seeing the bigger, long term picture.


I do not like the lack of morals in the public school systems. They've kicked God out of everything and the results are evident.


I do not like the militant ways of the classrooms, ';sit up and shut up'; or you'll be punished (but the children most out of control and undisciplined are the ones in the least amount of trouble, as if the authorities are afraid of them). I don't think it takes 8 hours a day away from your family for the next 12 crucial years to have an education, I feel most children in the public school systems come from severely dysfunctional/broken families and that to me is not ';normal';.


I don't like the fact that they teach children sex education way too early, that's a parents job, not the schools. The poor children look at each other in a different way after that and then perversion sets in. Classrooms/hallways have become catwalks for fashion and harassment instead of learning and the clicks are ruthless. The kids get lost in a fantasy world of ';holier than thou'; attitudes and they all think the world owes them everything without earning it.


Real life is hard work, not hand outs...real love, not promiscuity and guilt...cooking, cleaning, laundry, paying bills and managing money, not ipods, texting, IM's, video games, fast food, sitting around watching TV and complaining your mommy didn't wash your favorite jeans in time and didn't give you money to go to the mall.


I'm disgusted with this generation of youth and I don't want my only daughter to be caught up in the middle of it all starting at the innocent age of 5. I want to teach and warn her of the dangers as well as the opportunities out there on our terms, not ';theirs';. She is like a perfect rose, I don't want to uproot her and knowingly plant her in a field of weeds and thorns that will choke out her beauty and cloud her perspectives.





Any advice, experiences, words of wisdom would be appreciated as I will be showing this to him as part of my endeavor. Thanks.


Sorry for the length of this, but this is a long term labor of love ahead.How do I convince my husband that home schooling our only daughter will give her advantages...?
At level one she *can't* thumbs down anyone.





I'm busy at the moment and can't fully answer your question right now... but I have to say there is at least one person out there that understands and agrees with everything you have said. I'll either come back here or email you a reply later. :) I've been in your shoes.





Edit to Add: Ok... sorry I couldn't answer earlier but I didn't think much of the answer that was deleted accusing you of thumbs downing everyone.





My hubby was always nominally 'for' homeschooling, but thought he needed me to work. I worked in a public high school and nothing I told him could convince him it was really 'that bad'. I firmly believe that he is to be the leader of our home. So my son had to go to public school for kindy. Broke my heart... but I just kept praying and sent him off.





Now during that year my hubby was unemployed for awhile. So he decided to sub in another public high school. His first day... he came home saying he didn't handle it just right and things would go better next time.





His second day... he came home in a wild state. He kept explaining to *me* all the things I had tried to explain to *him*. (Many of which sound a lot like your post.) When I tried to tell him I already knew he kept cutting me off and telling me I didn't understand!





LOL... it was just something he had to see. What passes for 'normal' today is *nothing* like I want my kids to be! I want my kids to be *real* normal... *good* normal. Like you said... *not* sheltered from the bad... but *exposed* to the good for enough time to counter the bad around them.





My kids see other kids nearly everyday... and they see evil everyday as well! But they also have a 'grounding' there to fall back on until they are strong enough to fight evil on their own. I read a fabulous article not too long back that said it perfectly: http://www.boundless.org/2005/articles/a鈥?/a>





(Best quote from the article: ';I like to say that a puppy thrown to the wolves will either be eaten or learn to be a wolf. A fully grown dog stands a fighting chance.';)





Hopefully that will *help* with your hubby's understanding of your position... because I know to you this is all preaching to the choir. If not though... all I can tell you is pray, pray, pray and follow his God given authority. God will work wonders for your family and your home. *Even* if hubby never comes around, God will still work wonders. So let hubby lead and let God be God.





Feel free to email me to chat... just leave me a way to get back to you privately if you do since you don't accept email through YA. :) Hope this has helped!





(PS... I don't normally show my full conservative side on YA... but you seemed to be one that would appreciate the viewpoint. If I'm wrong and I've offended you by saying let hubby lead... please forgive me. :))How do I convince my husband that home schooling our only daughter will give her advantages...?
I completely agree with your message and want to say that you express your thoughts very well! It is difficult sometimes when husbands and wives don't see eye to eye on something that is very important to one of them. My advice would be to continue to pray about it daily. Ask God for guidance and ask Him to help your husband see that what you want for your daughter is a good thing. Have you contacted any Christian homeschool support groups or co-ops in your area? Definitely do that because they will be able to give you sound advice and also, you will be able to meet lots of other families and find out about all the fun activities and field trips they participate in. Contrary to popular belief, MOST homeschooled children are much more socially rounded and experienced because they can do things each day that other children can't. There are several books on the topic as well and there is a good one I read recently called Homeschooling- Take a Deep Breath, You Can Do This! and also another one called The Social Benefits of Homeschooling. There are dozens more available at the library or at Amazon.com I hope this helps. P.S. While many will disagree with your intentions to keep your beautiful little flower safe from the ';bad weather and weeds';, I completely agree with you. Who else is going to help our children grow properly and strong? I pray all goes well for you.
I've been home schooled for about 5 years now and still have plenty of friends! Most are actually home schooled, where I live there's a lot of homeschooling and there's so many home school functions. But I do have many public school friends too! If your husband's worried about her socializing try to find more homeschooling in your area, also put her in sports like dance,soccer and maybe some classes like art classes! also when she's older maybe you can get her to try out for plays at your local theatre, that will make her very outgoing and she'll make lots of friends! Seriously, I don't think home schooling cuts out friends, just a bunch of bad influences! And maybe if she doesn't like it you can put her in private school or something. But you really should give it a shot,I like being homeschooled. I even find I don't have much time to spare in a day, so it's not like I'm a bored, unsocial, outcast!
Kids spend 35 hours a week in school. They are only allowed to socialize for 15 minutes during the morning and afternoon recess, and 30 minutes at lunch. That's a big waste of 30 hours a week, to get 5 hours of broken up socialization.





School is an artificial social environment. Your child will get better socialization by joining scouts, playing sports, visiting neighbors, etc.





Ask your husband who his best friend is. Did he meet this person in first grade? Did he meet them in school at all?





Take your husband to a home school support group. Your letter makes it sound like you belong to a church. If your church doesn't have one, maybe a nearby one does. There are also neighborhood support groups.





In the end, you have to decide what is more important. Is it more important to home school your child, and let your husband adapt? Or is it more important to do what your husband wants, and let your child adapt?
We took our son (now 18) out of public school when he was in the 8th grade. He would get up every morning and cry or be sick (for real). After about 2 yrs. of homeschooling I found out that he was being picked on. He is very quiet and a good kid. When he was in kindergarten, they wanted (and did) to hold him back from 1st grade and put him in transitional 1st grade because he wasn't sociable, academically, he was above average. So, a few years later when he got in trouble for talking in class (being sociable) and I got a note sent to me, that's what I told them, ';you wanted him to be sociable, now he is';. His grades started failing, not because he couldn't, because he was unhappy. It took about 3 yrs. for me to decide on homeschooling, plus he kept begging me ';Mom, please let me be homeschooled';. He is now a computer whiz, I showed him one time how to place his fingers on the keyboard to type and how to move his fingers, now a whiz, can work on his dirtbike and racing bike, and the big plus, has never participated in smoking or alcohol. How do I know? Believe me, I know. Sorry this is so long, I could go on and on, I pray your husband comes around to your decision. It was one of the best things I ever did for my son.
I am a freshman in a Cyber school, and I have also attended public k-8. I agree that homeschooling can and will benefit a student's education. However, kids still need to socialize. They need to be able to hang out with friends there own age. I agree with you about the fact the public schools are not the best environment to be learning in. There are lots of things that you want you child to avoid while in public school, like drugs, alcohol, sex and other things. But you can't completely cut you daughter off from the outside world, make sure she still gets to be around other kids, and just be a kid. But all in all, homeschooling is a great option!
Well, I'm a little offended that you're ';disgusted'; with my generation. I think you're severely underestimating us. Not all kids are totally irresponsible and mindlessly glued to their phones like you stated. I think my parents have raised my brother and I very well, and we attend public school... and God hasn't been thrown totally out of the picture either. I don't think it's the school's right to enforce religion on their students. (As you said, it's a place for learning). But not for learning about personal beliefs on spirituality. However, there will ALWAYS be prayer in public schools, no matter what regulations and laws may pass.





Also, there's no reason that your daughter would HAVE to attend sex education classes. Usually there are permission slips involved, or you can talk to the teacher privately to discuss your worries.





I think public school, surviving the petty and stupid things that you've mentioned like cliques and fashion and fastfood, have made me a stronger, wiser, and more open-minded individual. And I'm thankful that I've done it. I can't imagine who I'd have become without it. It was truly a characterizing experience.





There's my tidbit. Good luck in whatever you and your husband decide to do. :)
I believe with most of what you have said, bar one thing. Sex education must be taught from day one.





I don't mean everything. But children should grow up with an understanding of it. If they know what its all about, its not usually as much of a curiosity to them.





See, my parents WANTED to do the right thing, but they never spoke to me about sex. Sure, when I hit puberty, I got a talk. They always had pamphlets and books lying around. But they never explained it to me. It was made to be a taboo subject. Its no wonder I was pregnant at 14.





When I have kids (I lost the baby) I intend to teach them right away.





A good method is an age-appropriate one. Sex-ed includes talking about gender (boys and girls- what makes them different) how animals have babies, how people have babies.





You see, its the truth. The truth will not hurt them. Its how they are taught to handle the truth, and how they themselves develop as characters, that determins what they do with the truth. Most kids just tuck the information away. All kids get curious, whether you teach them about sex or not.





If a question is asked, they are ready for an answer. Never tell a child a lie.
You have good intentions but you want to bring your daughter up in a bubble. It sort of reminds me of all those children who were removed from that compound a year ago. Your child is going to be part of this real world where good AND bad things happen. You cannot shelter her from everything. Your role is to teach her about life, explain love, sex, human behavior etc. so that she can make good choices. She needs children to play with. Patience, tolerance, and many other qualities are taught by things that happen in schools. If you want to die someday and leave behind a child/adult who will not know what to do in the face of life's realities, just keep right on with your attitudes.l You cannot make life perfect. don't you know that?