How can I get my husband to be more romantic?

We’ve been together 7 yrs, married for 4 yrs. When we first met and when we were newly married, we really did have a great relationship. Now we have a 6 yr old (my stepdaughter) and a 3 yr old and well, life is different.





We’ve had lots of normal B.S.. happen in our lives, and yes, it’s caused a lot of stress. But we’ve gotten through it.





My husband gets sex frequently so it’s not a matter of him not being kept busy. He gets other treatments as well.





But I HATE, HATE, HATE when we both work a long day and the one and only thing on his mind is sex.





Because I’m a woman, and as a woman, I’d like to be appreciated for EVERYTHING that I do. I’d like to feel loved…other than sex. I’d like to feel like I’m 27 yrs old instead of just an old married woman with kids that goes to work, comes home, cooks, cleans, does laundry, goes to bed and repeats the next day.





I feel like such a robot and I need more in my marriage.





I need intimacy and romance. Emotions other than just sex.





I got totally shafted on Valentine’s Day. Which wouldn’t be a big deal if he did romantic things on other days throughout the year, but he doesn’t. So it sucked. No card, no flowers, not even a weed from the garden…NOTHING.





How can I get my husband to be more romantic? Because this sucks.How can I get my husband to be more romantic?
Sorry that you got the shaft on Valentine's Day - That sucks!





Here's what I know - if you don't talk with him about what you want and need, he won't get it. I am sure you have tried to talk with him about this before - and maybe it has gone in one ear and out the other. Try again. Someone else said that men are like dogs - not that I agree completely with that comment...but I do know that we need training in what you want and desire.





We can't read your minds...and even when you do hint...it doesn't' work so well. Even when you tell us sometimes it doesn't register!!! Keep at it.





Schedule a date night to talk with him about your needs. After the kids go to bed, sit him down and let him know your feelings. Use ';I'; phrases like Here is what I am feeling...I really need you to..x, y,z... not ';you make me feel like crap...you need to do this';... That will put him on the defensive!!





Hope you have a great conversation and it gets better for you!!How can I get my husband to be more romantic?
Here is what you don't do. Criticize him and make him feel bad...seriously, that will take a backwards step...Men are like kids and doggies, Positive reinforcement goes a long way. Praise him if he does something really sweet and tell him how much you appreciate it and maybe say ';I would love it if one day you surprised me and did ___'; go at it like giving him an idea rather than ';why don't you do this ever?? most guys do this....I really wish you would'; keep a positive spin and he'll want to impress you.
don't have sex with him until he does what you want him to do.
Get a girl friend of yours to casually talk to him and drop hints





like she could say ';ohh my guy did the sweetest thing the other day. blah blah blah. do you do anything special for her?';
Get an older boyfriend. He can help your hubby learn how to be charming again.
lol same here...i usually am very romantic with him and in return i get nothing. soooo i turned the cards around. now instead of me being romantic with him and being very sweet i started acting like how he is to me. so cold and distant, as if he didn't need me at all. it must have hit him because now he wants me laying in bed with him watching movies in his arms, he kisses my hands, my forehead, he asks me what i want...a totally different person. so sweet and loving. A VERY BIG DIFFERENCE. try it mabe it'll work.
I am in the same boat...all that you have said is exacty my life with my husband.. :( I feel your pain..
You'll have to tell him. And give him some examples of what is romantic for you. And when he does it say you liked it.
What did you get him for Valentine's day? Lead by example, men are not taught this by there mother's you need to help him out. Get him a new pair of sexy undies and make a moment in your busy life to give him a gift. When he say's I didn't get you any thing say ';there is always tomorrow';. St. Pat's day is coming up send the kids out and put something green on surprise him, or perhaps nothing at all. You get him going girl show him how.
Tell him in a nice way what is bothering you. Communication is the best medicine.
Your question is probably on the minds of many women, all women that aren't overly sexual feel after a while like the only thing that is on their husbands minds is sex. But the truth of that matter is he is trying to connect to you the only way he biologically knows how, men love sex. Some men are more romantic than others, some aren't. For those who are not, it might help for you to be. If you are finding that you hubby is not being romantic enough show him how to be. Run him a nice bath with some candles, get into it with him, and have him massage you if he doesn't get it after that point than it's going to be harder for you but he should. As far as rinse and repeat with our lives that's a normal part of life but since you both work he needs to help you take care of the cleaning, house and kids too so that your not exhausted all the time. I would just have a talk with him about that, tell him how stressed you feel and how he needs to step in because when it's chaotic in a family the most important thing is for you two to bind together and hold on for the ride. If your 27 years old, your life has just begun sounds like the stress has been banging on for a while. But if you show him how to be romantic which sojme guys need than he might come around. I would make him apologize for the valentines day thing that was a day for love and he sounds like he blew it. Good luck!
sometimes you have to hold them by the hand and literally show them what you want.. you take the lead and plan an entire romantic evening alone with him without kids. you light candles, play romantic music, have a very nice romantic dinner, a hot bubble bath with wine and chocolate covered strawberries, you do it formally, send him a romantic text at work, or a romantic e-mail. or leave a sweet note inviting him to a romantic evening alone on the steering wheel of his car for him to find. i mean, pull out all the stops, anything that you would like for him to do for you, you do that for him in this one evening. then while dining tell him how much you love him and appreciate him. and how you miss the way things used to be before kids and every day life happened. tell him how much you love stuff like this, and you want both of you to do more stuff like that for each other.. it's point blank, and very direct. then there are no misunderstandings as to what you would like.
First of all, you should not ';hate, hate, hate'; that he is always thinking about sex. That is how many men are wired. We can't help it. But praise God that he wants to have sex with his wife only!





As for the romance department, yes he should step it up! Here is a suggestion. How about going through this free marriage series together (it will deal with both issues - romance and sex within marriage):





http://peasantprincess.com/
I have two suggestions....





#1 - Realize that for men...sometimes sex is how they show ';affection'; and how they feel ';wanted'; and how they feel ';loved';...just like a hug or a longing glance or a passionate kiss would be for us. Sex is different for men...and I've noticed when my husband is feeling sorry for himself of feeling down...he wants sex...and it's not the same as the sex for sex's sake ...it's actually an emotional fullfilment for him. He'd never say as much...ever....but that's what I've deduced based on his behavior...before and after.





#2 Tell him. My husband didn't do squat for valentines day..until he realized that I had gotten him a gift and a card and what not...and sure enough he came home from work with a card and candy...and then actually had the nerve to REGIFT my gift back to me. So not only did he put in zero effort...but he also basically regected my gift (1.5 hour full body massage)....doublely insulting.





So I told him...';I know valentines is a commercialized money trap...and you dont' think it's important...but for me...it's a chance for you to show me that you care... It's a no brainer opportunity for you to show me that I mean something to you...something more than the daily drudgery that I muddle through for the sake of the family. I'm 9 months pregnant, busting my asss fulltime at work, chasing a 3 year old toddler and I still managed to put some thought into a gift for you...and what did I get for my trouble??? My own damn gift tossed back at me. That sucks.';





He felt like an asss and said as much...we'll see if the lesson stuck...my birthday is 17 days after I deliver our 2nd child....we'll see if he learned anything.





I don't expect him to be a ';born again romantic';...he is what he is....but I do expect him to see all I do for the family...see the sacrifices I make....like I see his....and show a little appreciation.
The only way to get a person to do something they normally wouldn't, is to tell them step by step what you want done. There is no other way. Why would he all of a sudden be something he's not? If he's not the romantic type, everything he does that you find romantic will be artificial. It won't come from the heart because that's not what's there, whatever you put there will what's there.





Accept him as he is. Or, you could suggest romantic things and by habit, he'll repeat all that you do. Either way, romance will only be in your head. In his head, he'll be going through the motions just to make you happy.